Continuing a fall from grace so epic that it rivals the span of, say, the Tour de France, ex-Nike bestie Lance Armstrong is now facing charges of bribery, in addition to allegations that he ran a doping ring among fellow cyclists. If you have not already set fire to your copy of It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life, feel free to do so now.

In 1996, cycling champion Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer. By 1999, he had recovered and made a miraculous return to win the Tour de France. Five years later, the LIVESTRONG charity, which battles cancer, started distributing yellow rubber bracelets emblazoned with "LIVESTRONG" in honor of Armstrong's courage and tenacity. And now, eight long years later, it's time to cut that dirty motherfucking bracelet off your wrist and throw it into the trash.