If you really are only as old as you feel, then audio released today by Santa Fe police regarding a little hotel pizza party that got out of hand indicates that New Mexico governor Susana Martinez is... maybe 17 years old.

At risk of being somewhat reductionist, here is a bit of advice: Russians love poetry. Fuck with that at your own risk. If, for example, you tell a learned Russian that "the only real literature is prose," don't be surprised when he shivs you in the face.