It's a stark reality of American politics that (gulp) most of the grainy election spoof videos that you find online are really terrible. Tired old jokes done unoriginally without any thought toward editing and seeing if your joke has been made five thousand times before. So it is a rare treat when you stumble upon a little gag clip skewering the presidential candidates (but, um, usually mostly John McCain—what's that thing about funny Conservatives, again?). Again, there aren't many, but there are a proud few. We've put five of our favorites (plus a little bonus!) after the jump. Feel free to add your own in the comments. Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks Trenchant and sad, like all the best 'Onion' pieces.

Loic Le Meur! Gabe Rivera! Joi Ito! Don't feel bad if you've never heard of them. BusinessWeek.com's latest 25 Most Influential People on the Web is a mashup of billionaire powerbrokers with a randomized handful of those folks you run into at that same little tech conference that happens under a different name every month. I'm guessing they left out TechCrunch's Michael Arrington to create buzz. If you don't want to click through 27 pageviews on BusinessWeek's site, here's the entire list in alphabetical order:

If you follow Robert Scoble at all — and you sort of have to unless your DSL is dead — you know he can't help overproliferating everything he does. While the entire staff of Vanity Fair takes months to assemble its 100 most powerful list, Fast Company's token webhead spews 165 names in one pass for his "hand-picked list of the people who provide the most interesting tech blogging/tweeting/FriendFeeding." Robert, let me put on my old Condé Nast editor's hat and redline this back to you: GREAT START, BUT PLS TELL US WHO THE FK THS PPL ARE:

Another day, another dubious Forbes list that you can only read if you click through a neverending slideshow. Up today: The mag's list of the best-paid music stars. The winners: The Police, who took home $115 million last year, followed by Beyonce, Toby Keith, Justin Timberlake, and Madonna. [Forbes]

Forbes' list of the 400 richest Americans was published this week. Could the timing be any worse? More than a few people won't be seeing their names appear in the magazine this time next year thanks to the events of this week. But at least the notoriously inaccurate list has finally updated its estimate of Michael Bloomberg's net worth! He's now No. 8 on the list with $20 (Previously, Forbes misjudged his stake in Bloomberg LP, which the Wall Street Journal was more than happy to point out last year.) After the jump, the list of people in the New York area who made it on to the list, including some of the people who, in fact, live here despite Forbes's suggestion to the contrary. Stan Druckenmiller didn't pay eight figures for a Fifth Avenue penthouse and send his girls to Spence so he could stay behind in Pittsburgh!

When Forbes was compiling its list of America's most stressful cities, it hadn't even factored in this week's events on Wall Street, and yet NYC still made it to No. 2. (Chicago was No. 1.) But while life here may not be worry-free, you'll be happy to hear it's the third-best city in the whole world to be gay in! [Forbes, Independent]

The U.K. Times has released its list of the "top 10 richest streets in the world." In third place: New York's Fifth Avenue, although inexplicably the two Fifth Avenue residents they select as examples of the street's vast wealth and power are Diana Ross and Jessica Lange. Presumably Times owner (and 834 Fifth resident) Rupert Murdoch wasn't important enough? [Times UK]

Preeminent among the magazine world's kingmaking power lists is Vanity Fair's New Establishment, which appears in the October issue — on newsstands in L.A. and New York today, but not in the Bay Area for another six days. Silicon Valley gets similar short shrift: The names who make it there are predictable bigs like Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison, or Hollywood-crossover types like Jeff Skoll, eBay's first employee turned movie producer. Walt Mossberg, now employed by New Establishment perennial Rupert Murdoch, also squeaked in. The consolation prize Vanity Fair offers: Its "Next Establishment" list, reserved for the likes of Twitter's Ev Williams. It's a marvelous piece of New York media trickery — flatter the geeks by making them feel included, but corral them into a side room so the real power brokers aren't offended by comparison. True, the "Next Establishment" suggests that these are people who might matter in the future. But in saying that, Vanity Fair's editors are also sending the message that right here, right now, its "Next" nominees are nobodies. On this year's list:

Meet the "bright young things" on the social scene who will be gracing the photo galleries of New York Social Diary when David Patrick Columbia is about 120 or so. [Gawker]

Vanity Fair's perplexing list of the "New Establishment," that collection of people who aren't remotely "new" but certainly represent the establishment, is now online! The usual suspects (and Graydon Carter pals) continue to dominate (Barry Diller, Ron Perelman, Steven Spielberg), but there have been a few changes, too. The love affair with private equity moguls and hedge fund titans has clearly subsided: Both Eddie Lampert and Steve Schwarzman have been booted from the list, Henry Kravis went from 51 to 77, and SAC Capital founder Steve Cohen fell from 45th place to next-to-last on the list. And Harvey Weinstein's inability to generate hits at the box office has resulted in a precipitous fall from 41 to 87, which will undoubtedly make for an uncomfortable moment the next time Graydon bumps into Harvey at the Waverly Inn.

The 2008 Olympics literally have us 19 ways of excited at Defamer HQ, where we've retrofitted our dungeon workspace with one television for each of the NBC channels broadcasting the summer games. But don't get the wrong idea — we couldn't care less about the pole vault or women's rowing. No way. We're talent scouting, babe, in search of the next Olympian to break through the ranks as a Hollywood star. It's kind of a ritual around here, really, going waaayyyy back to the days when our old-media ancestors at the Defamer Star-Courier foretold gold-medalist swimmer Johnny Weissmuller's ascent to fame as Tarzan.Alas, for every Kristi Yamaguchi who wins Dancing With the Stars, there are a dozen others whose athletic gifts fail to blossom into entertainment careers. Defamer videographer Molly McAleer has dug deep into our archives for a few of the most dramatic missteps and failures, from Bruce Jenner's ill-advised turn in Can't Stop the Music to Mary Lou Retton's less-than-convincing '80s-era battery pitch. May the limits of their championship spirit be a lesson to all those going for the gold in '08. We'll be watching. (Read more coverage of the 2008 Olympic Games.) 5. Bruce Jenner, You Can't Stop The Music

You didn't think we'd post last week's Top Ten of the coolest male TV characters without following up with one dedicated to all the honeys, now, did you? And while our definitive men's list—checked and rechecked by a panel of TV experts canvassed at various local correctional facilities and gourmet coffee outlets—surprisingly met with some vocal opposition, we're confident its vagina-filled counterpart will please even the most persnickety of TV-lady lovers. There's only one way to know for sure, however. Click play, and decide for yourselves.

Seriously, this is it. The nadir. Pack it in, Internet. Someone make sure to turn off Digg on the way out. It's time to go home. [L Magazine]

They're one of Hollywood's most glorious odd couples: pixie dream girl Natalie Portman and Manson-resembling folk singer Devendra Banhart. Still, despite the fact that Portman was game enough to appear as an octopus in one of Banhart's videos, she still can't seem to shake those naysayers clucking, "Is she really going out with him?" She is — and she's hardly the first fresh-scrubbed starlet to fall for a charming, soap-eschewing bohemian. With the help of Molly McAleer, we've put together a Top Ten list of the world's most loved-up hippie womanizers. Is it their devil-may-care facial hair, their free love attitudes, or their penchant for sharing necklaces that draws in Hollywood's most beautiful ingenues? Burn some incense and meditate on the subject — we'll be out back crafting a swingset made of hemp and spit.

The Brits are always fond of reminding us of just how many stars they’ve discovered, sent our way, and watched dominate the last decade’s Best Actress Oscar pool. And Keira Knightley is certainly one of their most notable success stories. But as much as they love gushing over their own born-and-bred A-listers, whenever a newer, younger little Brit with potential comes along, they love yanking that shiny crown off the last pout-y superstar and placing it atop the unknown’s pretty-ish head. Which leads us to 16-year-old Georgia "The Next Kiera Knightley" Groome, the upcoming star of the irresistibly-titled Angus, Thongs, And Full-Frontal Snogging, hailed by The Daily Mail as Bridget Jones for teenagers. But after reading more about the film and its quirky dialogue (imagine a script co-written by Diablo Cody and Anthony Burgess), not to mention its leading lady’s disturbing ignorance on all things Johnny Depp-related, we came up with three reasons why Georgia will have a hard time filling Keira’s impossibly narrow shoes:1. The Script Makes Bend It Like Beckham Sound Like Shakespeare: Diablo may have been able to get away with now-sticky phrases like "Honest to blog" and "Phuket, Thailand!" thanks to the plucky work of Ellen Page. But take a gander of these cringe-worthy attempts to make the next "fetch" happen from Angus: "'Oh my giddygodspyjamas" (what she exclaims when she sees a boy she likes), "nunga-nunga holder" (bra) and "Vulgaria!" (the biggest put down). Call us nuts, but we find it hard to get on board with a star whose "As if>!"-esque breakthrough quote-worthy line includes any of the above. 2. Georgia Has No Cokepants Escapades Or Nudity Scandals In Her Future: As she tells the Mail, "I don't think I could handle all that fame and attention...Basically, I like living with my mum and dad, I like living at home, I like school and I'd miss all my friends.'" Oh dear. We're not sure an actress can even get her passport stamped on this side of the pond spouting that kind of saccharine wholesomeness. At least Keira busts out an F-bomb or twelve in nearly every interview she's given. 3. Anyone Who Dares To Neglect Johnny Depp's Pre-Pirates Career Is On Our Shit List: And we don't care how young they are. On the topic of Depp, Georgia gets all gooey-eyed and 'fesses to a crush (permissible), but goes on to say she didn't know who he was before she saw his Keith Richards impersonation in the swashbuckling blockbusters. In our world, that kind of talk is pure sacrilege, even for a 16-year-old.

I blame Guy Kawasaki. Ten days after the relentless listmaker joined the advisory board of Vancouver-based citizen journalism hub NowPublic, the site published a link-baiting "The 50 most influential people in New York." We've had this piece in our inboxes since Friday morning, but we couldn't figure out how to get anyone in the Valley to care about a list topped by Noah Brier and Jeff Jarvis. More interesting is me-blogger Anil Dash's take on the genre: "First and foremost, organizations create these lists to promote their own authority." Exactly. We've been pitched to do a Valleywag 100 or Valleywag 40 or whatever by consultants who crank out marketing events for a living. But they balk when we ask for a deck of playing cards emblazoned with the faces of 52 People We Want Gone.

In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake:

Poor Maureen Dowd doesn't know how to make fun of Barack Obama. It's actually pretty easy! Everyone misses Bill Clinton because he enjoyed extramarital sex with interns and oddly unattractive women, he had a southern accent, and he was kind of chubby. Everyone will miss George W. Bush because he's stupid. Those traits are so, so easy to mock! But the problem is jokes about those traits were and are and always have been terrible. Have another Big Mac, Bubba! Then put a cigar in someone's vagina! Hey George Bush you look like a chimp! And, like a chimp, your grasp of complex concepts like grammar is often lacking! Jesus. Stop already. Obama's a godsend, because he lacks those easy buttons. So everyone has to be more creative with their humor. Allow us to help you!

If three makes a trend, then a new one is awkwardly dancing its way into Hollywood. First, Lindsay Lohan threw an 80s prom-themed party for her 22nd birthday, then we recently discovered some intriguing prom scene footage from that highly anticipated horny vampire flick Twilight, and now, Var is announcing that Miramax will produce a film based on “This Strange Thing Called Prom,” a piece published last month in the NY Times. Though we never had the (mis)fortune of going to one ourselves, due to prep schools’ distaste for tear-inducing, virginity-threatening functions, the infamous Prom Scene has always been a joyous go-to whenever a teen-themed movie needs a pretty way to transition into Act Three. Below, the five cinematic proms we wish we’d been invited to, from Buffy’s murderous rampage alongside easy rider Luke Perry to the moment Andrew McCarthy tells Molly Ringwald he loves her even though she’s wearing the ugliest dress in the history of ugly dresses.

Apple's new, faster 3G iPhones go on sale in the U.S. tomorrow, but a new store where Apple will sell third-party iPhone applications opened for business today. (Something to do with when the iPhone 3G went on sale in New Zealand. Those international date lines are so confusing!) The apps mostly range from free to costing $10, and you buy them on iTunes like you would an album or a TV show. Here are ten that will crush your last remaining resistance to Apple CEO Steve Jobs's demands.