The baddest kid you ever babysat, Justin Bieber, has had a really weird week. It kicked off last Friday with the 19th birthday he had been hyping on Twitter for days—a birthday he would later describe in a (now deleted) tweet as the "worst birthday ever." Since then, a friend on another continent has crashed his $100,000 custom car. He's been hospitalized, for either shortness of breath or drastically low levels of public sympathy. Today, he lunged at a paparazzi like a baby flying squirrel and threatened to "fucking beat the fuck out of" him. Earlier in the week, he had a kebab at 6 a.m.