A lengthy, in-depth report on the child sexual abuse scandals of the Catholic Church—a report paid for primarily by the Catholic Church—has found that it wasn't the whole "celibate, sexually frustrated men in close proximity to vulnerable children" thing that caused all the molestation. It was hippies.
If we've learned anything from the cautionary tale of Dilbert creator Scott Adams, it's that masquerading as your own biggest fan on the internet can come back to bite you in the ass. You'd think that lesson might have sunk in by now for Real Housewives of New York City star Jill Zarin, who we've already caught once writing glowing Amazon user reviews for her own advice book (while accusing its critics of being antisemites). But someone — not saying it's Jill! Could be anyone really! Innocent until proven Zarin!— has been bombarding the Vulture comments section with suspiciously pro-Jill propaganda.
Everyone thought that Jim Moats, a pastor in Newville, Pennsylvania, was a retired Navy SEAL and a Vietnam war hero. He had a plaque to that effect hanging in his office, and he wore the trident medal symbolizing SEAL membership. For a profile in yesterday's local paper, Moats told of being "waterboarded" by SEAL instructors, and of being busted down to a kitchen worker after getting in a fight. "I had almost no discipline. I was as wild as they came. That was my nemesis," Moats said. "They weren't looking for a guy who brags to everyone he is a SEAL. They wanted somebody who was ready but had an inner confidence and didn't have a braggadocio attitude."
Did you hear that Barack Obama demanded a massive American flag be removed from Ground Zero while he was there yesterday? It's not true! At all.
Super computers! Narcissistic kids! Harvard scandals! Floating ants! Big lasers! Lying Superman! Magic batteries! Anti-helium! And sexxxy peacock pimping secrets! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—bitingly!
The Food and Drug Administration has issued a caveat today, reminding consumers that any hand sanitizer or antiseptic product claiming to be effective against antibiotic-resistant infection is telling you a Bald. Faced. Lie.
In July 2004, as the Iraq War spiraled out of control, Donald Rumsfeld ordered a staffer to draw up a "What Did Not Happen?" memo—a list of potential bad outcomes that had been avoided—to make himself feel better. Things could be worse, right?
John Thompson (pictured) was convicted of a 1984 armed robbery, and later of murder. He spent 18 years in prison, including 14 years on death row. Problem: the prosecutors who sent him to jail withheld some evidence—including eyewitness reports describing a perpetrator who looked nothing like Thompson, and a blood test that proved Thompson's innocence.
Carl Kruger is a Democratic state senator from Brooklyn. His vote against gay marriage last year was crucial in stopping the measure in New York. Funny thing: He lives with his gay lover, who's the bagman in their bribery racket.
Rolling Stone is trying to add another general to its head count: Michael Hastings, the reporter who dispatched Gen. Stanley McChrystal last year, is reporting that Gen. William Caldwell, who is in charge of training Afghan forces, used Army psychological operations troops to try to influence VIP visitors, including U.S. senators.
Think back five long years ago, when hot shot publisher-to-the-stars Judith Regan was embroiled in a huge scandal that was the talk of the media world: after HarperCollins fired her, Regan sued them. In her suit, she alleged that a mystery News Corp executive had told her to lie to federal investigators who were vetting former NYPD chief Bernie Kerik—a man that Regan slept with.
Lady Gaga has been traipsing around for the past few days claiming she was in that damn egg thing she arrived to the Grammys in for 72 hours straight before the show. "It was a very creative experience, and it was time for me to prepare and really think about the meaning of ["Born This Way," which she performed on stage] and get prepared for the performance," she told Ryan Seacrest.
Kids these days! Getting smashed is no longer the "cool" thing to do among American collegians—college binge drinking rates (at Purdue, admittedly) have fallen from 48% to 37% in only three years! What are our young people doing rather than downing Colt 45 at racist fraternity sex parties? According to the Wall Street Journal—known as the beating pulse of life on campus—they're doing the following:
New York is full of actresses right now, some of them relaxing, others working. But all of them, as we've interpreted from these paparazzi photos, are thinking about Ashton Kutcher. First up is Natalie Portman who, while waiting for a cab, remembers what it was like filming No Strings Attached. [Splash]
A new study shows that Fox News viewers are more likely to believe demonstrably false things than viewers of other networks. Which is to be expected. But it also shows that the more you watch, the more misinformed you get.
Facing a booing crowd in Europe, a PayPal executive tried to explain why his company blocked donations to Wikileaks. He cited a letter from the State Department calling the secrets-sharing site illegal. Sadly for him, no such letter exists.
Guilty Americans enjoy nothing more than assuaging our collective guilt over raping the earth by purchasing "green" products, with labels helpfully telling us how these "green" products are saving the planet. Too bad they're almost all fake, somehow.
