Have you been seeking a new ironic vehicle to display your disgust with the Tea Party? These new "I'm Voting Tea Party" shirts by Jeremy Kalgreen should do the trick. Better than "F*ck Tea," at least. [via]

Things already banned in San Francisco: plastic bags, tasering children. We can support that. Also proposed: pets. Well, I don't know...And also, now: Happy Meal toys, which encourage unhealthy eating habits. What if the toys are fun though?

White House press secretary was so nasty to whiny liberals — sorry, the "professional left" — in an interview published this morning, getting everyone all worked up. Now he's in the apology stage, calling his comments "inartful" and counterproductive.

Nothing's more fun for the White House than a public whipping of whiny-baby liberal hippie bitches. Today, it's press secretary Robert Gibbs' turn! In an interview with The Hill, he complains about the "professional left," who whine about everything.

I'm no "LEED certified environmental consultant" or "person with a grasp of basic science," but it seems to me that brewing coffee one cup at a time via disposable plastic "K-cups" is a mite wasteful. Well, that's just "consumer perception."

Today we looked at Sarah Palin's new book cover and we got a hint that she might be leaving the tea party crowd behind and joining the liberal cultural elite!

A wealthy scion of an American dynasty is using his media knowledge and Hollywood connections to lobby power players to insert subtle liberal messages into movies and TV shows by manipulating their storylines. This is not propaganda, apparently.

Man, everyone's apologizing to Shirley Sherrod today. (As they should!) The White House apologized. This random conservative blogger apologized. Now, Bill O'Reilly is apologizing... for the fact that Shirley Sherrod is a racist liberal extremist!

Another old leak from JournoList, the late off-the-record listserve of liberal pundits, has proven that leftists control all media! Some bloggers were apparently so upset with a 2008 debate that they conspired to write an open letter.

At some point in the last 30 years, left-of-center organizations eschewed the term "liberal" for the fancier-sounding "progressive," after the right wing had somehow turned "liberal" into a pejorative. Unfortunately for liberals, no one knows what the fuck "progressive" means.

Please excuse the French for believing they lived in a free country and not some Russian gulag—obviously, they were mistaken. For the first time since France became civilized, its workers are expected to work until age 62.

In plugging his new book, the former GOP Speaker of the House writes that leftists have infiltrated nearly all facets of society with their brand of "secular-socialism," and they will destroy America faster than you can say firecracker jihadist.

On Monday, David ‘Axis of Evil' Frum compared the GOP's health care defeat to Napoleon's Waterloo, and chastised Rush Limbaugh. On Thursday he was booted from his right-wing think tank fellowship. We have some ideas for your next move, Dave!

Starbucks is ground zero for gun nuts now! Survivalists, modern-day militiamen, and muttering crazies all prefer Sbux-brand lattes! No longer will Starbucks be seen as a safe haven for liberal pussies! The shooting starts soon.

In your tenuous Tuesday media column: people get fired for crazy reasons, reporters doubling as models, a talking head maybe getting a new job, and journalistic kayak fail.

Can we blame Arianna Huffington for the tragic dissolution of Dennis Hopper's marriage? Page Six insinuates that Hopper's wife Victoria Duffy is sleeping with James Boyce, a Democratic strategist and, yes, Huffington Post blogger.

I guess several yoga mats could be combined into some sort of...nah, no idea. We've contacted the yoga studio for comment. Donate now, you selfish bastard. [via James Fallows] UPDATE: A nice lady from the yoga studio explains, below.

NY youth prisons can no longer *routinely* shackle child prisoners all day, for safety. LIBERALS.

Ugh. Shut up, bill-killing liberals. You know who has more liberal cred than all of you? Bernie Sanders, who secured $10 billion for community health and then voted for cloture.

We were rather bullish on it before, but a government-run insurance option is now dead in the water.