The U.S. Justice Department, busy with many, many other much more important things, has asked a judge to throw out a lawsuit filed by members of the Insane Clown Posse that objects to the FBI's 2011 classification of the group of Faygo-swillers as a "violent gang." The feds simply do not have time for this shit.

A high school student was suspended for seven weeks after he sarcastically responded to an anonymous Twitter comment, and now he's suing his school for dragging his reputation through the mud.

Jonathan Fleming, 51, was released from prison in April after serving 25 years for a 1989 murder he didn't commit. He's now seeking $162 million from New York City.

In 2011, an anonymous Canadian man fractured his penis while having sex with his wife. As if that indignity wasn't enough, surgery to correct the injury allegedly left him with a dick that was "about an inch" shorter than before.

Twitter parody accounts, in general, are the worst, but punishment against their authors probably shouldn't go beyond a simple mute or unfollow. Jim Ardis, mayor of Peoria, Ill., disagrees.

Jewel v. NSA, a lawsuit filed in 2008 — years before the Edward Snowden leaks — takes the National Security Agency to task for the mass surveillance of AT&T customers' communications.

A software developer who claims he gave a bunch of his stuff to a stripper because they were in a "dating relationship" is suing for the return of, among other things, his collection of Harry Potter DVDs.

In a twenty-two page complaint filed in a Manhattan federal court, Anton Purisima, 62, is suing everyone from New York City to Kmart to a "Chinese couple" who allegedly took photos of him while he was being treated at a hospital.

Millionaire playboy and Instagram celebrity Dan Bilzerian is best known of late for chucking a 90-pound porn star, Janice Griffith, off his mansion roof during a shoot for Hustler, and missing the pool. Griffith threatened to sue, and now Bilzerian's lawyer has purportedly written the snarkiest response Bilzerian's money could buy.

A former Portland State University undergraduate has filed a $1 million lawsuit against her faculty mentor for sexual harassment over the professor's alleged obsession with the student's experiences as a BDSM model and sexual-abuse survivor.

A New Jersey man has been awarded $1.5 million by a jury after city leaders (including the mayor, an "avowed Boston Red Sox fan") denied him the right to open a bar named "Buck Foston." Buck Foston.

The playwright and producers of a Broadway show are demanding $2 million from former lead actress Valerie Harper, claiming she hurt the play when a brain cancer diagnosis forced her to drop out.

A woman who struck three teens on bikes while driving her SUV, killing one and injuring the others, is now suing the deceased teen, his family, and the other two boys. She is claiming $1.35 million in damages for her psychological suffering.

The Manhattan Supreme Court will hear the case of a strip club that claims a cardiologist owes $135,000 in bills for four very expensive visits. The doctor says he was drugged by club employees and never authorized the charges.

X-Men: Days of Future Past director Bryan Singer was accused of repeatedly drugging, threatening and forcibly sodomizing a minor in a lawsuit filed Wednesday in federal court in Hawaii.

A man named God is filing suit against credit rating agency Equifax because the company claims he has no financial history.

Last month Duane Reade tweeted a paparazzi photograph of Katherine Heigl shopping at one of their New York City drugstores. Now Katherine Heigl wants $6 million.

The family of 80-year-old Maria de Jesus Arroyo has filed a lawsuit against a hospital in Los Angeles after a pathologist determined that Arroyo was declared dead prematurely and frozen alive. She then "eventually woke up" and injured herself trying (and failing) to escape. Oh!

Every kiss may begin with Kay, but now a ton of sexual discrimination lawsuits are beginning with Sterling, the largest retail jewelry company in the country.

The actor who played Brian, the flair-obsessed Chotchkie's waiter from Office Space, has lost a lawsuit in which he accused 20th Century Fox of using his image to sell "illegal flair."