Pessimism has been replaced by optimism: After Google shares traded down 1.2 percent today, traders responded to the release of Google's first-quarter earnings by sending the shares up nearly 12 percent in after-hours trading, crossing $500. Fear, in short, has been replaced by greed. As I expected, the call was filled with chest-thumping glee from never-modest CEO Eric Schmidt. That's why I listen, by the way — not to hear numbers I could read in analyst reports, but to hear how Google's executives talk about the company on one of the brief occasions that they leave the bubble of the Googleplex. Live coverage, starting at 1:30 p.m. Pacific:

Yahoo's new site for women, Shine, began life with a link to The Phoenix's 100 Unsexiest Men of The Year. OK, fine, we clicked. But then we were astounded to find the list contained only 4 percent geek. Further, the unattractiveness of those who made the list, such Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang, was, frankly, insultingly underrated. Also, the whole list was out of order. Below, a poll where you can help us rerank both the geeks already on the list, and those who should have made it. Rachel Marsden, your assistance in this matter would be appreciated.

Disgraced stock analyst Henry Blodget has found a new reason to fawn over the Valley's billionaires: Jerry Yang, Steve Jobs, and Larry and Sergey pay themselves $1 salaries. Hank, haven't you heard that there's a crisis in Social Security? The $1 salary is the perfect combination of tax dodge and publicity stunt. Jerry, Steve, and the Google boys pay 6 cents of their buck towards Social Security, and a penny for Medicare. Those taxes aren't charged on investment income — the kind generated when a founder sells his shares. "It would be nice if we started to see the same gesture from chief executives in the rest of corporate America," writes Blodget. Sure, if you want to make sure the rest of us get nothing when we retire.

Before Lucy Southworth met Larry, there was another man in the future Ms. Page's life: Tom Kretchmar. From a photo album on Facebook, leaked thanks to the site's privacy holes, we can see Southworth and Kretchmar were close. In one photo, she's sitting on his lap. Old college flame, or just a friendly school chum? Never mind: Southworth is too radiantly adorkable for me to pay much attention to Kretchmar.

Born on March 26, 1973, Google cofounder Larry Page turns 35 today. Maybe wife Lucy will get Larry some jewelry to match Sergey's. (Photo by dannysullivan)

Earlier this month, Virgin's Richard Branson hosted Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales and his wealthier coevals on Necker Island for a discussion on global warming. The beach party seemed to be held mostly for the benefit of a sun-satiated New York Times reporter. But, between sips of pinot grigio, Branson and his tanning friends confirmed that yes, they will consider holding another such confab again in the future. You don't see plebes in Priuses saving the world, do you? Write your best caption in the comments.

We were right: Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales really did skip off to Richard Branson's Caribbean getaway in early March, even as a scandal unfolded over his governance of the world's most comprehensive list of gay animals. The powwow on Necker Island, which included Google's Larry Page, Tesla Motors chairman Elon Musk, former British prime minister Tony Blair, and VC Vinod Khosla, discussed global warming. Branson asked: "Is the world on fire?"

"I was brought in as sort of a father figure — somebody who has a lot of operating experience — because [Google] at the time was very small and basically right out of Stanford," Google CEO Eric Schmidt said in a press conference in Australia yesterday.

Who's the richest billionaire in the Bay Area? No surprise here: Oracle founder and yachting enthusiast Larry Ellison, is the 14th wealthiest in the world (which must grate on him something fierce) with $25 billion. Trailing him are a trio of Googlers, Larry and Sergey with almost $19 billion each and CEO Eric Schmidt with $6.6 billion. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, the youngest billionaire is pegged at $1.5 billion and outgoing eBay CEO Meg Whitman, one of only 99 women on the list, has $1.3 billion. Other local billionaires include Steve Jobs, Charles Schwab and George Lucas. Grab the full list from Forbes.

In an interview with BoomTown's Kara Swisher, Facebook's new second-in-command Sheryl Sandberg says "Silicon Valley is a very good place for women."

Missed earnings, recession fears, and dodgy deals are eviscerating the stock portfolios of tech titans like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt. Here's the damage.

Brin, Page and Schmidt have cut and run on Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang. Word is Google execs visited with Yang and the Yahoo board last week and encouraged them to say no to Microsoft's offer. As incentive to do so, Google is said to have offered to take over Yahoo search and immediately boost the floundering company's cash flow. On Monday, Yang officially rejected Microsoft's offer. But now that Yang and the board face a proxy fight with Microsoft, these Google executives are suddenly less interested in bailing Yahoo out, the WSJ reports. Sources tell the paper that the Googlers' enthusiam waned as antitrust worries waxed. But we wonder if all Google wanted in the first place was to keep Microsoft and Yahoo from doing anything quickly.

Anne Wojcicki, the wife of Google cofounder Sergey Brin and CEO of the Google-funded biotech startup 23andMe, is a modern sort, keeping her name after marriage. Not so, apparently, for the former Lucy Southworth, who recently married Brin's cofounder, Larry Page. At the World Economic Forum in Davos, her nametag read "Lucy Page." One thing's for sure: This will make her more difficult to Google.

Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin collectively own 57,806,476 shares of Google stock. One month ago, Google's stock was trading at $710.84 — putting Larry and Sergey's combined holdings at $41.1 billion. That'll buy you a few party planes, right? Not so fast. In the past month, Google's stock has fallen almost every day, with the biggest drop coming today. The one-day loss for Larry and Sergey? Almost $2.5 billion, bringing their total losses to $10 billion in just under a month. I guess I won't complain about the $120 I lost at the poker tables with Jason Calacanis last month. (Photo by AP/Ben Margot)

The Google founders' Gulfstream V party plane — quick plane-spotting tip: the Gulfstream V has six windows; the IV only has five — took off on a scientific mission to study the Quadrantid meteor shower Thursday. Larry, Sergey and Eric, you may remember, got permission to park their jets at NASA's Moffett Field for the bargain basement price of $1.3 million plus allowing NASA to use the planes for "science missions." This is the first one we know about. Wait, just how many jets do they have?

Before Larry and Sergey named Google after a typo, Larry Page called his Stanford project BackRub. Blogoscoped thinks the name comes from the way Page's algorithm used backlinks to judge a search result's relevancy. We just think the name is kind of pervy, especially since Google is now a verb. Millions of people, BackRubbing all day long — it's some kind of geek dream. And yes, by the way, that is Larry Page's hirsute paw.

If you're worth $20 billion, I guess you can't just go on a vacation. Even if you just got married. Larry Page and new bride Lucy Southworth headed down to Argentina after their Necker Island wedding last weekend — and Larry promptly met with Argentina's recently elected president Cristina Kirchner. Kirchner bragged about her country's software industry and Larry thumped his chest about alternative energy. Muy romantico. At least Larry continued to rock the urban mullet. Now go on your frigging honeymoon, okay? (Photo by Infobae.com)

We hear that Larry Page's wedding to Lucy Southworth on Necker Island Sunday was a smaller affair than widely reported — only 170 people, not 600. Confirmed in attendance: Richard Branson, who officiated, and Bono, who read a poem he wrote for the couple and performed a song. Oh, and also San Francisco's hunky god-mayor, Gavin Newsom, shown here with Page and Google cofounder Brin. How do we know Newsom was there?

No wind, no rain could stop Larry Page and Lucy Southworth's wedding on Necker Island this weekend. During the ceremony itself, Valleywag's exclusive photo showed clear skies, if rough seas. Virgin Gorda, the large island where the Google founder and his Stanford-Ph.D. bride held a reception afterwards at Little Dix Bay, hosted a large fleet of private jets over the weekend — all gone by now, according to our operatives.

From a helpful tipster, the first-ever photo from the wedding ceremony of Larry Page and Lucy Southworth. The groom wore a white buttondown shirt, untucked; the bride, a cream strapless number, with her hair loose. Pics or it didn't happen, eh? After the jump, visual confirmation that Sir Richard Branson was the Google cofounder's best man.