Labor Day, an opportunity for the working class to momentarily kick off those economic shackles and spend the day with their family, barbecuing and enjoying the privileges normally reserved for the leisure class. Or, at least, it used to be.

Labor Day is a complete rip-off. Labor isn't celebrated at all—instead, a single day's break from labor is celebrated. You might think this is a stupid thing to care about, because Labor Day is really just about getting drunk in your yard, again. But that's actually evidence of this very successful con job pulled on you, the American worker (or unemployed person, or discouraged worker, or "grad student"). You probably don't even believe in Labor Day.

Happy Labor Day!

Man, Obama was fired up today during his speech to a union festival in Milwuakee. Sure, he announced a big $50 billion infrastructure initiative, which is important. But he also went after his political opponents with uncharacteristic glee.

It's Labor Day, a Federal holiday, and—boo!—we're working. Are you stuck working while all of your friends are silently meditating on the Labor movement's impact on America drinking? Bitch in the comments here.

In honor of Labor Day, the U.S. Department of Labor has launched MySkillsMyFuture.org, "a new website to help out-of-work Americans find new opportunities." If you're an undertaker or an NFL player, they've got jobs for you! But poor rodeo clowns!

[Some 34 million Americans are driving somewhere fabulous for the weekend. Actually they're probably stuck in a traffic jam like this one in Oakland. Enjoy the long weekend, folks. Try not to spend it all in the car. Image: Getty]

The Way We Live Now: short. And sweet? Well, one out of two ain't bad. Who wants to dwell on economic troubles longer than necessary when it's time to leave work and wish you had the money for a vacation?

True story: tomorrow's my fifth day off in 133 days, since starting this gig on May 9th! As such, Gawker's going dark. Kidding! But we are going dark in honor of the workforce. Enjoy Labor Day. We'll see you Tuesday.

Happy Labor Day everyone!