Since we always do everything they tell us to, maybe a celebrity endorsing gay marriage will finally grant gay New Yorkers the right to marry? Commercials featuring famous citizens announcing to the world that marrying gay is A-OK have debuted.

That's because Mad Men and 30 Rock will take the big prizes. For the second year in a row, shows we actually like are poised to take home the gold. Neil Patrick Harris is hosting too!

William Jefferson Clinton—the man, the myth, the legend—celebrates his 63rd birthday today. The former First Lady of the United States, Tipper Gore, is turning 61. Actress Kyra Sedgwick is 44. New York City councilmember Melinda Katz is turning 44, too. Friends star Matthew Perry is 40. Former presidential candidate Fred Thompson is 67. GOP political operative Mary Matalin is 56. Literary agent Lynn Nesbit is turning 71. Actor Peter Gallagher turns 54. Entourage's Kevin Dillon turns 44. Oscar-winning composer Gustavo Santaolalla is 57. Rapper Fat Joe is turning 39. Country singer Lee Ann Womack is 43. And one of the greatest actors of his generation, John Stamos, will be blowing out 46 candles on his cake today.

Jeremy Piven goes nuts on Chris Kattan, Robert Pattinson parties in Queens, Michael Jackson is finally buried, Bethenny Frankel hates Gwyneth Paltrow, Jesus Luz wants to be a DJ, Mariah Carey is freaking out and Victoria Beckham debuts on Idol.

Hey, kiddo. Stop your crying. We know you were worried that Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick lost everything to Bernie Madoff, because it sounded really bad. But now Kyra's spoken publicly about it, and they're gonna be just fine.

Kyra Sedgwick and her husband Kevin Bacon lost some money to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, as you probably heard, but they weren't completely wiped out. "The fact of the matter is that we did not lose everything," Sedgwick says in an interview with the AP. "I think the interesting thing about it was that I always thought, 'We're so boring. We should be in the tabloids more. C'mon honey, let's have a scandal.' ... And I think when you say 'no comment,' that's, of course, where they're going to go, because it's fun, and it grabs headlines and people will be more interested." Not sure "fun" is the right word, but it certainly was a sexier angle to the story than focusing on another elderly Jewish couple in Boca. [AP]

• Madonna's backup dancers haven't been making friends at the Bryant Park Hotel. Reports a staffer: "They are presumptuous and cheap. Nearly every one of them have stiffed their bellman and servers, and what's worse is they have tons of stuff." [P6]
• The situations continues to deteriorate for Lindsay Lohan: She's rumored to be pawning jewelry to pay the bills. [Star via Popcrunch]
• Britney intends to "drop by Buckingham Palace" and say hi to the Queen when she's in London, which is awfully generous of her, isn't it? [Mirror]
• The circumstances surrounding David Carradine's death are still a little murky. Suicide? Sex-related accidental death? The investigation is still underway. [People, Us, TMZ]

Growing up rich is hard, what with all the money and the drugs and the famous lineages and pressure. Take, for example, Rob Sedgwick, the brother of Closer star Kyra and Warhol muse Edie's cousin.

Ezra Merkin, the financier who steered $1.8 billion into Bernie Madoff's pockets, officially stepped down today as the chairman of GMAC, the financing arm of General Motors. The move was widely expected given the reputation-shattering events of the past few weeks, a staggeringly swift fall for a resident of New York's richest apartment building and the president of one of the city's most prominent synagogues. But when there's blood in the water, the sharks turn up for dinner, which is why Merkin's art adviser, Ben Heller, says his phone is ringing off the hook.

Maybe Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick aren't so broke after all? Though they lost money in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, a tipster tells us they're flying first class to LA right now.

The list of Ponzi ponce Bernie Madoff's victims grows ever longer, and ever famouser. Kevin Bacon and his beautiful wife Kyra Sedgwick! And poor, impoverished New York University.

Two more victims of Bernie Madoff's giant Ponzi scheme: Kevin Bacon and his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, reports New York's Daily Intel, news that Bacon's publicist confirmed today. But there's good news for one other Madoff victim: Crain's reports that Yeshiva University, which previously indicated it had lost $110 million as part of the scam, now says it "only" lost $14.5 million, an error the school attributes to "fictitious numbers provided to it by Ezra Merkin."

If and/or when Hollywood makes the definitive movie about victims of Bernard Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme, we're sad to report that Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick can be recruited to play themselves.

What? Two PrivacyWatches in one week? That's your reward — all of our reward, really — for all of your attentive spying, neck-craning and blabber-mouthiness in recent days. And while we regret we have no epic Kim Kardashian traffic mishaps to report (and eventually debate), we can vouch for primo sightings of a single Ryan Gosling, the renowned pool shark Kevin Federline and a symbolic meeting of A-list and Z-list at one of the city's most glamorous steakeries. Remember, Hollywood PrivacyWatch is brought to us by the letter U, so put "Sightings" in your subject lines and keep those tips coming. The latest installment also includes Kate Winslet, Denzel Washington, Shenae Grimes, James Cromwell, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, Whitney Port, Anton Yelchin, T.R. Knight and more.WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17 I spotted RYAN GOSLING at the Hotel Cafe last week catching a show by singer AUDRA MAE. He was with a bunch of scruffy dudes - sans Rachel McAdams! Ladies, there may still be hope for us all. He looked super thin and was rocking some stubble. Stayed and hung out after the show until some drunk chick vomited all over the bar, at which point he promptly beelined for the door. THURSDAY, SEPT. 18 Just returned from the new Big Wang's in West Hollywood where KEVIN FEDERLINE was holding court around the pool table. The group that he was with was way too exited to be in a NoHo bar with KFed. Lots of hooting and cheering every time he made a shot. FRIDAY, SEPT. 19 Saw super talented and delicious HGTV's Next Design Star runner-up MATT LOCKE at the Sound of Music sing-along. Insert joke about hammering hard wood here. Snicker snicker. I'm walking up Flower street in Downtown LA around noon today walking towards The Standard when all of a sudden TIM GUNN walks out. He looks great, if not incognito. In hindsight I should have asked him to say "holla at ya boy." Right now. A very blond KATE WINSLET in first-class on AA 180 from LAX to JFK. SATURDAY, SEPT. 20 I spotted the USS Enterprise crew member ANTON YELCHIN in Van Nuys on Saturday night at a party at Beer City Studios. He was supporting a friend's band on harmonica and guitar. Much later in the evening, he serenaded the remaining party goers with an 8-minute, improvisational story song about his experience with a "MILF." Also spotted at the party that night was SAM GOLZARI from American Dreamz and 21. He was playing with his band at the party and, needless to say, we were all "Omerized." While eating excellent pizza at Tomato Pie on Melrose, SHENAE GRIMES from 90210 walked past me twice. Petite, cute and NOT ANOREXIC!!!! no matter what the tabloids or the L.A. Times claim. Five minutes later, same place, spotted JAMES CROMWELL with his wife/girlfriend and an unexpected big smile on his face. The MTV Awards may be just a memory now, but on Saturday I actually saw JESSE CAMP, live and in person outside of Cheetah’s. He was accompanied by his wife, and looks pretty much exactly the same as when he won that contest years ago. SUNDAY, SEPT. 21 On Griffith Park Blvd. at the intersection with Los Feliz Blvd. Was waiting for the traffic lights to change, and just glanced in the rear view to check my hotness, and who do I see pulled up to my bumper, baby? None other than delish-o-gay, T.R. KNIGHT. Was at the wheel of his champagne, metallic SUV (not too big). I knew he lived nearby and it was only a matter of time... Was using his cellphone as he drove. Bad man. Needs bottom spanked. Matter of time... At the Aero Theater for a sneak peek of Choke - LAURA INNES (redhead doc from ER) sat just across the aisle from me — she laughed in all good spots, stayed for the Q&A with director CLARK GREGG, looked nice and normal and had no attitude (unlike some other people who flipped their lids over the no-camera rule); also JON FAVREAU was there to support Gregg — someone asked a question about Iron Man 2 and they had a laugh, Favs hung out for a bit and talked to all sorts of fans who were surprised to see him, another no-attitude celeb. MONDAY, SEPT. 22 At BLT Steak: WHITNEY PORT and five others sat at the table next to us, which was fine, she's pretty and all and her manager or whatever wasn't too annoying. But, as we were walking out I noticed DENZEL WASHINGTON sitting in a corner. I feel like he smiled at me when I smiled at him. He is way sexy. Spotted KEVIN BACON and KYRA SEDGWICK in the parking lot at the southwest corner of Ventura and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks at noon today. They were walking to their light blue Prius and looked young, cute, and fit. Seriously. At first I thought it couldn't be them, because who is that cute young blonde ponytailed girl? But sure enough, it was Kyra (no mistaking that face). At one point Kevin put his arm around her and they kissed. Genuinely looked like the real deal.

Bill Clinton is 62 years old today. We're sure he'll find a very special way to celebrate. Others who will be blowing out candles today: Kyra Sedgwick, who is turning 43, author Frank McCourt, who is 78, and the Bronx's very own Fat Joe, who is celebrating his 38th. Former Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson is 66 today. City Council member Melinda Katz is turning 43. Literary agent Lynn Nesbit is 70. John Stamos is 45. And Matthew Perry—remember him?—is 39.

For vivid proof of the weakening dollar, look no further that the annual salary survey in the forthcoming issue of TV Guide: After two years of slumming alongside the likes of Zach Braff and seeing everyone from William Petersen ($600,000 per episode) to the Simpsons cast (each $400,000 per episode) pass him by, Charlie Sheen has reclaimed his spot at the top of the prime-time cash heap, earning $800,000 per 30-minute episode of Two and a Half Men. Granted, it's not seven-figure Friends money (which Sheen originally asked for in negotiations back in 2006), but we still think it bears repeating: Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. Join us in getting our heads around it (and a few other hot-ticket raises) after the jump.

When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their many torture chambers loving households in Beverly Hills by hosting the likes of Kirstie “I Should Be Dead” Alley, Oprah “Never Forget” Winfrey, Victoria “Posher Than Katie” Beckham, and Jennifer “Marc Is Sick Again” Lopez. And putting aside Suri’s adorably Croc-like sandals and her ongoing tendency to appear just as frightened of her father as the rest of the world, this A-list party’s most impressive attributes were the pimped out rides. After the jump, a collection of the invitees in their modes of transportations, and a sampling of just how much security goes into protecting their Friends and Foes from Xenu’s ominous Orwellian eye: