Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of late grunge-god Kurt, is 18 today. Meaning: you are old.

Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love offspring Frances Bean Cobain has a restraining order against her mother and an alter ego named Fiddle Tim who had "his" first gallery show—called Scumfuck—in L.A. this week.

It's true. He just might be. Also today: A Kurt Cobain biopic sounds seriously dreadful, HBO casts two good actresses in two good roles, a teen adventure begins, and some important news about Big Momma's House 3.

Kurt Cobain was inarguably one of the most influential artists in music history. Widow Courtney Love's despairing quick speech to mourners on the day that Cobain died—16 years ago today—is an essential memory for the MTV Generation.

God help us. Tiger Woods wants to be alone with his cartoon porn. Miley Cyrus wants Kurt Cobain to be her boyfriend. Kim Kardashian wants everyone to look at her cleavage. Sunday gossip can't always get what it wants.

Hailey Glassman lands the lowest of blows and a terrifying magazine cover. Should Alec Baldwin blame his hospitalization on his ex-wife or his daughter? Suri Cruise wears lipstick. Quentin Tarantino wears out his welcome. TGIFriday gossip.

For a brief moment in the early 90's, the X Generation dared to dream that the world could be a better place. Or at least it could be a more, kinda less, in your face, making such a big-deal-about-itself place.

Courtney Love did not authorize that Hellish Guitar Hero version of her dead husband that she authorized, for money—it's all Dave Grohl's fault and she's going to sue and she wants a British journalist to rape him.

Well, if Gus Van Sant's rockstar suicide porn Last Days wasn't vicarious enough for you, you can now play as a Kurt Cobain-like character in Guitar Hero 5, replete with the infamous Daniel Johnston shirt. Via Fimoculous, game trailer below.

Madonna wishes Alex Rodriguez was crying on her shoulder. Meanwhile, a Los Angeles woman is offering her support to hundreds of thousands of traumatized Miley Cyrus victims.

Oh, hey you guys, anyone know of a good apartment for Frances Cobain? She's thinking downtown, a room for her mom, maybe an office. No more than $7 million, though. Eight, tops.

For some parents, raising a child alone after a partner has committed suicide is a sensitive thing. Then, as always, there is Courtney Love. Last seen recommending orgasms to the Jonas Brothers, the singer is once again in the news for spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on her daughter's 16th birthday party, a suicide-themed affair that included games like a "who can look the most dead" contest. No bonus points for dressing like Kurt Cobain, as that was Frances Bean's costume:

When we spent yesterday introducing you to the "7 MTV-Defining Stars Who Wouldn't Be Allowed on MTV Anymore," little did we know it would cause such a sensation. From far and wide, the Defamer commenters gathered together to trade stories about the network's golden days, suggest improvements that could be made, and shout at kids to get off their damn lawn. Since MTV has made the encouraging step of hiring Russell Brand to host this year's VMAs, we know they're open to self-improvement, so we thought it only fair to spotlight the best suggestions and constructive criticism the Defamer braintrust had to offer:1. Revamp Daria for the Hills crowd: By spotlighting Daria's popular sister Quinn, the show could be retrofitted to attract iconoclasts and super sweet sixteens alike! As commenter Jill Tyrrell said, "They could totally put Daria back in syndication on MTV, and re-name it Quinn or Fashion Club. It'd be like The Hills, in cartoon form! All the LC-Conradettes out there would go crazy for it. 'I love Quinn! She is lyk soooooo awesome! I soooo wanna be in the Fashion Club! But why is that four-eyed lesbo bitch Daria always being to mean to her????'" 2. Hire new casting directors for The Real World: Commenter Antonella fondly recalled that in its early seasons, The Real World "was less about drunken hook ups at celebutard wannabes and more about...well, real people." MTV has proven that ordinary people can still be compelling — just check out the gangly, awkward teens of The Paper — so why does The Real World have to be cast exclusively with musclebound meatheads who can hold a barbell longer than they can hold our interest? 3. Don't Be Bashful About Stoking Nostalgia: VH1 Classic is all well and good, but how about this suggestion from Dave J.: "They should have a 'MTV: Origins' channel or whatever, and only show original programming from back in the day (pre-Real World) and actual music videos from start to finish, and then see how it does ratings wise vs. the actual MTV. It probably wouldn't do as well, but I bet it would do better than Viacom thinks." Dave, anything that might presage a Sifl & Olly revival is OK by us. 4. Leave music video commentary to the professionals: Virtually the only time you're assured of seeing music videos on MTV is during the show FNMTV, which premieres the videos alongside instant viewer feedback sent from MTV.com. While that's all well and good, the peanut gallery isn't likely to provide masterfully crafted insults a la Julie Brown or Beavis & Butthead. Commenter derby reminded us of the amazing special MTV Lame, when a countdown of the network's worst videos ever was hosted by a dream team of comedy including Jon Stewart, Janeane Garofalo, Denis Leary, and Chris Kattan. FNMTV may be interactive, but only on a special like MTV Lame can you see Vanilla Ice menace Jon Stewart with a baseball bat. 5. Begin a Lionel Richie channel: Could it be that MTV had the means to their salvation all along? As floated by crescentia and seconded by 30f, a Lionel Richie channel (with marathon reruns of the music video for "Hello") could be an epic ratings win. Hey, it would at least outdraw Buzzin'.

Click to viewAfter word emerged yesterday that MTV was planning an extreme dieting beauty pageant, we knew it was time to ask ourselves, "Do we still want our MTV?" Many of us grew up in a time where the network was perceived as alternative, cutting-edge, and cool, though it's hard to picture the stars who made it that way getting a foot through the door of the modern-day MTV casting office. Here, then, are seven iconic MTV personalities who would have no place on a network that now fills its programming with multiple iterations of the "spoiled rich girl" reality genre:

• Britney Spears thinks a 1,200-calorie-per-day diet has left her "the healthiest I've been in years." The grueling workouts helped too. Sounds healthy! [OK!]

• Amanda Beard denies she's dating Michael Phelps because that would be "nasty." Michael, however, isn't commenting on whether or not he's dating Lily Donaldson, or anyone else. [NYP]

Did you know Frances Bean Cobain, Kurt's surprisingly well-adjusted daughter, is a "summer aide" at Rolling Stone? She is! Also, she's wayyy too rock and roll for the anal-retentive offices of the Wenner title. Insiders bitched to Page Six, "she doesn't get coffee for anyone . . . calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits." First of all? She's 15. And second? Something tells me Evan Springsteen, Max Spielberg and Gus Wenner weren't fetching too many lattes last summer, either. Anyway, here are some conversation tips, courtesy a February article in People, in case she comes to collect your drink order:

• Alec Baldwin lashes out at the family court system in his book, not his ex-wife Kim Basinger. He takes care of her at live party appearances: "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." [Showbiz Spy]

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Paul Anka. Maybe it is old, but I sure as shit never saw it before. Now I can't stop seeing it!

Something to wear with your Kurt Cobain Converse on the way to a party at the Williamsburg Edge: a $190 Kurt Cobain t-shirt. For the sake of capitalism, let's hope this trend never ends! [Satchel of Gravel]