Tiny, hyperactive Oakland rapper Chippy Nonstop—probably best known as the Kreayshawn of 2013 and for being friends with the Kreayshawn of 2012, Kreayshawn—has been deported to Canada and forbidden from reentering the U.S. for five years.

Kreayshawn, the beef-starting, ex-pimp, one hit wonder is pregnant. And judging by her blog post announcing it, the 23-year-old rapper thinks pregnancy is about as "basic bitch" as sporting garments manufactured by Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, or Prada.

This week, the music industry looks something like Christmas. It's not that the new music releases are gifts, per se (quite the contrary), but there are so damn many high-profile albums after a relatively dormant summer. This kind of flurry is usually reserved for the holidays. And what's more, together they give as full of a picture of the state of label-based pop music in 2012 as any recent concurrent set of albums. Really, all this week is missing is a neo-boy band. Let's explore:

Like any person with functioning ears, I am inclined to hate Kreayshawn, but with "Go Hard," she's hitting really close to the hypnotic inanity of the entire reason why anyone still talks about her in the first place, her breakout track, "Gucci Gucci."

Phonetically-challenged rodent Kreayshawn, the logical outcome of allowing irony-worshiping white internet users to determine what's "hot" in hip hop, has announced in GQ Magazine that she is bisexual. This is the most shocking revelation of bisexuality by a young female rapper since the last one a few weeks ago.

GQ profiled manic pixie rap waif Kreayshawn for its March issue, and the result is a mesmerizing feat of shit. Smoking shit, talking shit, and literally shitting.

The newest hacker gang isn't after credit card numbers or classified NATO documents. Their game is blockbuster scripts, verified Twitter accounts and nude cell phone snapshots. Harden your passwords, glitterati: Hollywood Leaks will use any means necessary to bust open the entertainment industry.

Without a doubt, this year's earliest contender for song of the summer is "Gucci Gucci" by 21-year-old Oakland artist Kreayshawn. Though no one had heard of her a few months ago, she's now on pace to succeed Ke$ha as the foremost white female rapper in popular music.