Favorite songs: "Rock Lobster," B-52s; unspecified Van Halen.

Apparently Patrick Bateman, the "protagonist" of Bret Easton Ellis's American Psycho, isn't the only maniac obsessed with Whitney Houston. You may recall Sudanese authoress Kola Boof, who claims in her memoir Diary of a Lost Girl that Osama bin Laden kept her as some sort of indentured sexual companion (Boof objects to the term "sex slave," though every other media outlet uses it quite freely). Harper's Bazaar is running an excerpt of the memoir, and though everyone mentions the sex-slave part, what's getting the most play is that Boof claims bin Laden harbors a super crush on Houston. Supposedly, bin Laden has a "paramount desire" for Houston booty, though he's conflicted due to his hatred of music in general and syrupy, bombastic pop ballads in particular (OK, we're projecting). Osama also seemed willing to break his "color rule" for Houston and make her an official wife. To accomplish this, the al Qaeda leader even contemplated a hit on Houston's husband Bobby Brown. Such dramatics, considering all he needs to tempt her to his harem is a nice fat bag of crack.

No, that's not just a string of nonsense words. Wonderfully named author, activist, and autobiographer Kola Boof is something of a character. Originally from Sudan, Boof's chief notoriety comes from her claim that she once did time as an involuntary coital companion for Osama bin Laden. The exact terminology is a bit dicey, as Boof hates that the New York Post keeps referring to this as her "sex slave" period; Boof's bio says she was Osama's "lover ... against her will," so take your pick. Some have expressed doubts about Boof's bin Ladenizing, but the more pressing question is this: Why was Boof fired from her job as a writer on Days of Our Lives?