• After 115 weeks in business, Jeffrey Chodorow's Kobe Club closes its doors tomorrow night. The Miami outpost is probably history, too. [Eater]
• One of the two Starbucks in Astor Place is closing tomorrow. [Eater]
• A roundup of places that just opened, or will be open next week. [TONY]
• Charlie Palmer is giving away bottles to vino in honor of Aureole's 20th. [GS]
• The Minetta Tavern's "preferred-customer line" is sort of useless, FYI. [GS]
• Rise, the rooftop bar at the Ritz in Battery Park City, has closed. [Zagat]
• Sangria and lobster salad was on Padma's mind on Today today. [TFB]

• Christian Delouvrier, formerly of Lespinasse and Alain Ducasse, is back from Florida and is now behind the stove at David Bouley's Secession. [NYT]
• Jeffrey Chodorow's Kobe Club in East Hampton won't be back this summer. Mediocre, overpriced food will be: It's becoming a branch of Philippe. [NYT]
• As you've probably noticed, bar menus are big these days. [WSJ]
• A Craigslist ad for waiters, busboys, and bartenders attracted—yes, you guessed it—lots of former bankers and commercial real estate brokers. [NYT]
• Patois has moved from Brooklyn and has settled on Mulberry St. [LNYC]
• Celeb dining tips by Rosie O'Donnell, Jill Hennessy and Tim Robbins. [BB]

Yesterday we reported on an overheard conversation starring peculiar restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow—he was figuring out the cheap way to fix up some of the falling-apart areas of Kobe Club. Later, Eater was on the receiving end of a personal call from Chodorow. In the words of the man himself, "Kobe is not closing, ever." He then called 9/11 an inside job, claimed the Moon landing was a hoax, said that gravity was a Kurdish conspiracy, and quickly excused himself, saying he had a meeting with Hexlor VII, the Supreme Commander of Flexicor MI9. Also he's opening up a Kobe Club in Miami!