Sure, you could talk up their soft, aerodynamic design. Or their strength in the face of even the most violent of sneezes. But we all know what those white Kleenex-brand facial tissues are really being used for.

Every so often, something comes along to put everything in perspective. Today it's Roger Ebert talking about his life after losing his jaw. His honesty and courage is frankly amazing and we are touched. God, we hate feeling these emotions!

There's something so wonderfully, anachronistically chauvinistic about blatant attempts to market to the ladies in an ersatz-Jane magazine sort of way. To wit: the color-based personality assessment promoting Kleenex's new oval-shaped containers.