• While girlfriend Jennifer Aniston has been acting like a goody two-shoes, John Mayer has been a total party boy, drinking it up all night at a bar in New York. But he's also been totally domestic and whipped in Las Vegas, where the singer dodged groupies right and left to go to bed early. Since Aniston is really into mixed signals, the actress decided Mayer is "the one." None of this is going unimpregnate Angelina Jolie, Jennifer.

In a Forgetting Sarah Marshall inspired moment of honesty, Kiefer Sutherland told his girlfriend, Siobhan Bonnouvrier, that he doesn't care that much for the clothing she picks out for him. Sutherland told his gal pal that he's far more comfortable in a V-Neck from American Apparel than the giant scarves the 24 star has been forced to wear lately. She quickly corrected him, explaining that there's a BIG difference between a scarf and a pashmina. Sutherland started to remove the pashmina and said, "Well, whatever it is, I don't like it and it's spring so why I am even wearing it?"

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, the terrorists will have won! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Teri Hatcher and a band of 12-year olds on a scavenger hunt.

TV's Kiefer Sutherland shied away from even the very faintest sign of PDA while in New York City's Meatpacking district this morning. Sutherland seemed far too concerned with the commotion in the building across the way, wondering if he would have to be called into some 'neck snapping' action. In addition, Sutherland remarked to the mystery woman, "How can I hold your hand AND smoke my cigarette AND carry my umbrella all at the same time?"

• Heath Ledger may have a love child in Australia, the late actor's uncle said, which would mean he has two children. Isn't that straight out of Lost? I mean, except for the part about Heath fathering the child while 17 and still in grammar school with a woman eight years older who already had a boyfriend. [Daily Telegraph via HollyScoop]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you stumbled upon Ian Ziering getting a pedicure in a Hollywood strip mall.

Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

Writes Page Six: "WHICH recently divorced fashion editor is rumored to be spending more time in Los Angeles these days? Word is she's taken up with the recently jailed Kiefer Sutherland." The only divorced fashion editor we know is that lady The Devil Wears Prada is based on—Meryl Wintour or whatever. We hope it's not her! [NY Post]

To be honest, we don't exactly "get" VH1's latest "comedy" Free Radio—it comes off like some ill-conceived, pitchroom fever dream in which network execs were somehow slipped peyote pills in their Diet Cokes before being sold on a cross between Yo on E! and The Office, as hosted by a young Gilbert Gottfried. Still, the show managed to score some impressive talent for the debut episode:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time Andy Dick asked if he could Adrian the Grenier out of you.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you stumbled upon Woody Harrelson telling a Yoga studio receptionist about a marvelous new contraption that turns poop into drinking water.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Adrian Grenier possibly consoling the dead bird out of some weepy blonde girl:

That deafening cheer you heard last night, so loud it blew the Ye Rustic Inn's front door right off its hinges and into an adjacent stripmall's parking lot, had nothing to do with Brett Favre's crushing defeat, but rather a triumph of the highest order involving one of Silver Lake's favorite sons. For Kiefer Sutherland, you see, had emerged from the Glendale City Jail a free man at precisely 12:05 a.m., having served the entirety of his 48-day sentence, where he passed the long hours "cleaning sheets, pillowcases and blankets on laundry duty." John Balian, a jail spokesman always forthcoming with kindly soundbites and incremental Kiefer updates, offered that the 24 star was wearing "a shirt and jeans," and "looked like he was glad to be out." Why was the beloved Christmas tree assassin forced to serve out his entire sentence, where lesser shock-starlets have been released early for far more serious, traffic-flow-flouting crimes? The AP report explains:

Our rough calculations bring us to Day 17 of Kiefer Sutherland's 48-day stint in the Glendale pokey—perhaps the writers strike can lend us their ring girl— and while we've already established that this would be a bleak Christmas (and birthday) for Kief, bereft of cupcakes, hearty Tannenbaum tacklings, and single malt holiday cheer, we barely knew the extent of it:

As we scrawl yet another red X on our 12 Months of Torture: An Official '24' 2007 Calendar—bringing us to Day 8 of what will eventually be 48 days behind bars for Kiefer Sutherland—we've been on the lookout for reports on how the actor is faring behind the razor-wire-enforced walls of the Glendale City Jail. One encouraging report suggests Sutherland has been deluged in fan mail in the days since beginning his sentence:

As a parked RV full of vigil-standing Defamer commenters idles outside of the Glendale City Jail, Kiefer Sutherland sits in his solitary cell just a few hundred feet away, beginning Day 3 of what will eventually be 48 days in the correctional facility. His only crimes? An illegal U-turn and perhaps loving life too much. Still, a repentant and cooperative actor appears to have accepted his fate, with one jail spokesman going so far as to describe him as a "model prisoner":

24 star and Everyone's Favorite Hollywood Drinking Buddy Kiefer Sutherland, as we briefly noted on our way out the door Wednesday evening, reported to the Glendale City Jail to begin serving his DUI sentence, scuttling our perhaps delusional hopes he might somehow elude his captors and rendezvous with Mary Lynn Rajskub in an abandoned Van Nuys warehouse to plot his next move, leaving a trail of snapped forearms and bullet-riddled kneecaps in his wake.

• Crooner John Mayer confessed to having long harbored a crush on Ricki Lake and got her digits. [Page Six]
  

· Nicole Kidman or wax figure? Even the experts are left scratching their heads.
· Like we needed this right now: Kiefer sentenced today to 48 days, starting immediately. Good news, though—it's in the Glendale City Jail, not L.A. County. We hear they have an In-N-Out Burger!
· Watching this exclusive first-look of the Speed Racer movie, we're instantly reminded of this Knocked Up exchange: "You know what's interesting about [Matthew Fox]? "What?" "Nothing."
· The 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against a Wisconsin inmate banned from posting a photo of Jennifer Aniston in his cell, but issued a "snarky" ruling that made cracks about Along Came Polly and Rumor Has It, and suggested a legal loophole that would allow for the displaying of magazine pictures.
· For the second night of Hanukkah, we offer you this extra-special gift. (Make sure to stick around at least until Zadie shreds the melting Stratocaster.)

· A striker on the Grey's Anatomy-boosted Prospect Studios picket line sent in this photo of Katherine Heigl proudly decrying AMPTP president Nick Counter's weinderdom. This is the picket sign by which all subsequent efforts will be judged.
· Fox has indefinitely postponed the premiere of 24. And considering all the strike-related scheduling changes, it looks like Kiefer Sutherland took on that extra jail time for nothing.
· Click here if you need a limoncello-flavored pick-me-up. Come on, just do it. Your ears will thank us, we promise.
· Refusing to cross the picket line, The Office's Steve Carell phoned in sick with an acute case of "enlarged balls."