Billionaire Mayor Mike Bloomberg, reportedly outraged at new Pope Ratzi's refusal to guarantee the eternal salvation of Jews, atheists, homosexuals and vegans, is secretly plotting with a top aide to assume control of the Vatican sometime in 2010, Gawker has learned. Top Bloomberg aide Kevin Sheeky met in secret with a number of disgruntled Holy See officials earlier this month, and is reportedly in talks with the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York about just how pricey an extended "antipope" campaign would be.