If you've ever wondered how far below the poverty line Tara Reid is living these days or what kind of child support Alec Baldwin doles out to Kim Basinger, there is a guy in Cincinnati named John Snyder who is living your dream right now. Illegally, of course, and maybe under threat of prison time, but still: Snyder, an IRS tax examiner, is accused of viewing the confidential records of 197 celebrities over the last five years, including Kevin Bacon, Sally Field, Vanna White, John Cleese, Portia De Rossi, Randy Quaid and even "the late Eddie Albert of the classic sitcom Green Acres." Eddie Albert! Has this man no shame? Maybe not, but you can bet he has a lawyer:

Judd Apatow has fulfilled his promise to "shake Americans from their squeamishness about male anatomy in movies" by featuring Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jason Segel completely nude in the movie's pivotal break-up scene. And as the LAT pointed out yesterday, Segel's manhood provides the film's "most captivating screen presence" (sorry, Kristen Bell). But Apatow and his cool comedy clique aren't the first ones to boldly focus their cinematic lens on male actors' full frontal displays. We took a look back on Segel's predecessors to showcase other (pun intended) ballsy big-screen cameos by the likes of Bruce Willis and Ewan McGregor after the jump. Just a warning, this is NSFW.

Bacon's puppy-dog looks made him a teen idol and an inescapable supporting actor. And as everyone who lived through 1997 knows, he's connected to you by six degrees of separation or less.

· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Molesting Bacon Edition: Paramount is remaking Footloose as (in the words of Var) "a full-blown musical" starring High School Musical's Zac Efron, who we're sure will one day go on to become the Kevin Bacon of the Disney Channel generation. [Variety]
· Fox Atomic acquires the comedy Don't Lean on Me, the story of a high school gym teacher who is reluctantly promoted to principal. We'd uncharitably compare it to Summer School, but someone's already defiling resurrecting that classic of our early teenage years. [THR]
· Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix rolls out today on more than 9,000 screens, marking the widest opening in Warner Bros. history. Huzzah! But sadly, as a sequel, it stands no chance of breaking Transformers' impressive first-week box office record. [Variety]
· In a rebranding effort that will forever change the way you perceive the channel where you watch Most Shocking, Body of Evidence, and L.A. Forensics, Court TV is rechristening itself truTV. [Variety]
· NBC's Singing Bee, which endeavors to recreate for viewers the experience of what it would be like to spend eternity in Hell's most popular karaoke bar, starts strong, improving upon on its America's Got Talent lead-in. We are all doomed. For real this time. Oh, and we almost forgot: Fox's nearly identical Don't Forget the Lyrics debuts tonight. [Variety]

· Local comedy monopolist Judd Apatow continues to integrate the industry's mirth-making entities into his rapidly expanding humor-producing conglomerate, collaborating with Jack Black, Knocked Up's Harold Ramis, Superbad's Michael Cera, and an Office writing team on Year One for Columbia. [Variety]
· The dust is finally starting to settle at a post-Albrechtgate HBO, with "longtime Albrecht right-hand man" Michael Lombardo reportedly being promoted to a new job overseeing all west coast operations. [THR]
· Jim Carrey will star in the dark comedy I Love You Phillip Morris (by Bad Santa's Glenn Ficarra and John Requa), an idea pitched as Catch Me if You Can meets Brokeback Mountain. There is no direct Judd Apatow involvement that we can discern, a fact that could doom the promising project to eventual turnaround. [Variety]
· Imagine superproducer Brian Grazer's unparalleled Bacon-attaching skills lead to ubiquitous actor Kevin joining the cast of Frost/Nixon, the big-screen adaptation of the Peter Morgan play. [THR]
· The U.S. 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals throws out the FCC's "capricious" rulings against Fox over Cher saying "fuck" and Nicole Richie "shit" during broadcasts of the 2002 and 2003 Billboard Music Awards, a landmark decision that reaffirms an awards show presenter's right to "accidentally" swear on live TV. [Variety]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so if lady luck should happen to gift you with one, don't squander it: Write it up and send it in! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted David Hasselhoff working off a cheeseburger at your gym.

· Please don't read anything untoward into the phrase "expand their relationship" or jump to conclusions about what kind of "modestly budgeted films with local talent" that Hugh Jackman and his partner might make. You're better than that, we know you are. [Variety]
· Bacon Plots His Revenge: You either want to read about that, or you don't. [THR]
· An upfront standoff ends as ABC drops its demand that advertisers pay for viewers who watch their shows on DVRs, but the net reserves the right to later extort ad buyers over potential viewers who intend to watch a show but never get around to it. [Variety]
· Cybill Shepherd will dabble in some girl-girl action as a member of the cast of The L Word, playing a married mother who begins to question her sexuality when surrounded by incredibly hot lesbians. [THR]
· THR launches The Hollywood Reporter ESQ, a trade paper for the people in the industry who write the contracts and lovingly sign cease and desist letters. Don't miss the first issue's centerfold spread, featuring entertainment law legend Bert Fields splayed on a bearskin rug before a cozy fire, his natural state covered by nothing but one of his books on Shakespeare. A small book. [THR]

Where the Truth Lies director Atom Egoyan lost a valiant battle with the MPAA ratings board yesterday over scenes of "explicit sexuality" in his film. (Cough cough three way!) The bad news: WTTL will have to carry an NC-17 rating (or go out unrated), which may prevent some theaters from showing the movie. The good news (unsexy version): Distributor ThinkFilm will probably receive scads of free publicity from the movie's soon-to-be famous menage a trois. The good news (sexy version): The released version will carry Egoyan's original group-sex vision:

The media may be lauding Kevin Bacon as a hero for his very, very brave [career suicide! why must he always take the dark roles?! tearing of hair and clothes, etc etc] decision to play a child molester in The Woodsman, but the set of a pedophile flick is still a total drag: