England's University of Kent has dashed an intramural soccer team's dream of a sponsorship from PornHub, one of the biggest streaming porn sites in the many-tentacled MindGeek empire, and ordered the players to stop wearing their PornHub jerseys immediately.

A 21-year-old from Auburn, Washington, has been charged with felony assault after he slapped a 10-year-old boy who was roughhousing inside a movie theater in Kent.

To be a successful barista in today's competitive market, you must be twentysomething and very sexy. Shirley Stagner and Tina Holcombe are in their 40s, which automatically makes them very unsexy—and, therefore, completely unqualified to bariste at Hot Java Hunnies, the sexiest coffee depot in Kent, Washington.