The 60s are back! Thanks to the candidate for change! Attached, Barry Hussein's new TV ad, set to run right here in New York City—which is briefly important again, did you hear? Barack Obama knows America is sick of the same old ways of doing politics. They're tired of dynastic families remaining in Washington for generations. He knows also that everyone loves the Kennedys! At least, most of the Kennedys. The dead ones mostly, plus the ones we don't see too much of, like Caroline. It was so nice of those Kennedys to adopt Barry and make him one of the family! Just like Brad and Angelina! Or maybe he's infused with the spirit of JFK himself, like Suri Cruise! (The Times notes that the spot references the moon landing, which NIXON did, while leaving out the Bay of Pigs. Seriously? You thought they'd include the Bay of Pigs? Why not a drugged-up Marilyn Monroe getting double-teamed by the President and the Attorney General too!) The full ad is below, watch and pine for the black and white America you don't remember but it seemed pretty awesome.

Trainwreck and former New York congressman John Sweeney was charged with a DWI last night. He was not charged separately for having a 23-year-old woman on his lap at the time of the accident—but all in due time! In the last two years, the 52-year-old Sweeney has been through a nasty-ass divorce; caused the stranding of hundreds of skiers when he crashed into a tree at the bottom of a resort; been accused of domestic violence; gotten lit at an upstate fraternity; been embroiled in several ethics scandals; and lost his congressional seat. Guy's taking on the entire Kennedy family single-handed.