• After a handful of false alarms (and after claiming they were weren't even engaged) Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen finally got married yesterday, tying the knot in a small ceremony at a Catholic church in Santa Monica. [Us, People]
• It looks like Jeremy Piven won't be penalized for walking away from Speed-the-Plow, since officials from Actors' Equity and the Broadway League couldn't come to a consensus at his hearing yesterday. [NYT, NYP]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay Kimora $40,000 a month in child support until their daughters turn 19. [People]
• Derek Jeter is supposedly dating a 22-year-old FIT student. Given she enjoys playing his voicemails for her group of friends, you probably shouldn't expect the relationship to last very long. [NYDN]

• Andre Balazs and Sharon Stone were seen cuddling on a couch "all night" at the Oscar party at Guy Oseary's home on Sunday, and looked like they "couldn't have been more into each other." We're beginning to sense a pattern here, how about you? [NYDN]
• Newlyweds Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo are expecting a baby. [P6]
• Jeremy Piven will make his case in front of an Actors' Equity panel tomorrow and offer proof it was mercury poisoning that forced him to drop out of Speed-the-Plow. Good luck with that. [NYP]
• Warren Beatty supposedly wants Lindsay Lohan to star in his new movie, but only if she moves in with him and Annette Bening during filming. [Fox411]
• Chris Brown has started taking anger management classes. He's also had to hire bodyguards because he says he now fears for his safety. [NYDN, InTouch]

"Cozy" is not the same as "together." But we can still wonder why Owen Wilson is sitting next to Kate Hudson, or if Alex Rodriguez is again flirting with Madonna via the idea of being her neighbor.

Madonna wishes Alex Rodriguez was crying on her shoulder. Meanwhile, a Los Angeles woman is offering her support to hundreds of thousands of traumatized Miley Cyrus victims.

• Madonna is supposedly furious with Alex Rodriguez for returning to his ex-wife Cynthia after the steroid scandal broke a few days ago; we're guessing she won't be too happy with the pics of A-Rod partying with a group of girls in the Bahamas the weekend before, either. [NYDN, NYP]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. [People, P6]
• Cops will reinterview Rihanna and Chris Brown in the coming days. [NYDN]
• Mort Zuckerman had a nice, long, expensive lunch at the Four Seasons right after slashing benefits at the Daily News. [P6]
• Prince Harry has been ordered to undergo "sensitivity training." [People]

• Paris Hilton hasn't given up on her dream of musical superstardom. At a Grammy after-party on Sunday, she accosted Paul McCartney and asked him if he'd be interested in doing a duet with her. Paul politely explained that he didn't think he'd have the time. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow didn't join Chris Martin at any of the Grammy after-parties, so he found another chick to hang out with instead. [NYDN]
• The Chris Brown-Rihanna situation has taken a turn for the worse. Rihanna's injuries are reportedly "horrific," and include bite marks, facial contusions, and a bloody nose. Brown has hired attorney Mark Geragos to defend him. Both stars have cancelled upcoming appearances. And Brown's Doublemint gum ad has already been pulled. [People, TMZ, NYP]

As dismaying as it is when environmentalists' paranoid doom-mongering is shown to have some basis in reality, a new study has revealed that exposure to "perfluorinated chemicals" can cause fertility problems. PFCs are also found in various products including non-stick pans, face creams, shampoo, and nail polish. The obvious solution? Don't ever cook for yourself, seek out safer, more eco-friendly beauty products, and if that means boosting the income of Kate Hudson, well, we'll all just have to learn to live with that. [Bloomberg]

• It looks like Ashley Dupre's 15 minutes of fame isn't entirely over jet yet: She was spotted at HarperCollins' offices and is now reportedly trying to sell a memoir. [P6]
• Hijinks at the Golden Globes: Leonardo DiCaprio asked CAA to construct a ladder so he could sneak into the agency's dinner last Friday and avoid the press. Adrian Grenier and Paris Hilton were denied entry to another event. And Harvey Weinstein appears to be smoking again: He was spotted taking cigarettes out of Hilary Swank's purse. [P6]
• It's not easy being a Forbes: The family is taking its Highlander yacht out of commission until summer and has fired the ship's crew in the meantime. [P6]
• Eddy Curry is being sued by his former chauffeur for sexual harassment, after the Knicks center allegedly tried to "solicit gay sex" from the driver and forced him to "perform humiliating tasks." [NYP]

Claire Danes bundled up on a walk in SoHo with boyfriend Hugh Dancy ... Kate Hudson leaving her apartment in the West Village ... Taylor Swift leaving her hotel en route to an appearance on SNL ... Sarah Jessica Parker getting in a Prius outside her Village apartment ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon standing under an umbrella after leaving Japonais on East 18th Street ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber unloading luggage from an SUV in front of their NoHo apartment ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck posing for photos on the sidewalk ... Madonna leaving the Waverly Inn with photographer Steven Klein, shortly before Kanye West turned up ... and Katie Holmes and Suri boarding a helicopter at the West 30th Street heliport.

It's true! The Yankees player Alex Rodriguez, who like teammate Derek Jeter sucks very much, was seen canoodling with actress Kate Hudson at an underground Manhattan fish restaurant.

Remember when Eddie Murphy's post-Dreamgirls Oscar fantasy died in the blast of the bomb that followed it? Anne Hathaway, we have found your Norbit.

Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson were the main attractions at Monday's Bride Wars premiere at the Lincoln Square Cinema. Others who turned up for the chick flick: Vera Wang, Tara Subkoff, Rachel Roy and her daughter Ava, Barbara Walters, Cindy Adams, Erin Fetherston, director Gary Winick, producer Alan Richie, Kristen Johnson, Robert Verdi, Holly Dunlap, Damien Fahey, Mike & Juliet hosts Mike Jerrick and Juliet Huddy, Lisa Rinna, model Hana Soupkova, and Dina Lohan, as well as the cast of Real Housewives of NYC: Jill Zarin, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord, LuAnn DeLesseps, Ramona Singer, and Bethenny Frankel. [PMc, Wiremage, NYO]

Ivanka Trump (left) shopping on Madison Avenue with a friend ... Chloe Sevigny walking around in a red hat and red boots ... Kate Hudson leaving her West Village apartment with two friends ... Hugh Jackman hanging out with his kids in the Village ... Maggie Gyllenhaal crossing the street ... Heather Mills heading into the Avalon Day Spa on Christopher Street ... Kate Winslet on a stroll ... Julianna Margulies and husband Keith Lieberthal showing up at Nobu for dinner ... and Jon Stewart watching a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden with his son.

It's little things like the recognition of Kate Hudson and Mary-Kate Olsen that keep the status-quo from suffocating us in the thick of Oscar season.

• Fran Drescher announced a run for Hillary Clinton's senate seat, on the basis of being "authentic and honest" and "getting a bill passed in Washington." Presumably having Anderson Cooper in the tank is a plus, too. Pray she's joking. [NYM]

♦ Is Kate Hudson trying to steal Alex Rodriguez away from Madonna? She was spotted with her "arms completely wrapped around" him at a party in Miami this weekend. But she might just be trying to steal Jason Statham away from his girlfriend, since the two were seen downing dirty martinis together. [NYDN, P6]
♦ A PETA activist pelted Lindsay Lohan with a bag of flour at an event in Paris on Saturday. Sam Ronson responded by dissing the activist on MySpace: "My dog is far more civilized than that person." [People]
♦ Kanye West was arrested in London on Friday after an altercation with a photographer. Now he's suggesting the entire episode was "bogus," and has upset some Brits by comparing himself to Princess Di. [People, The Sun]
♦ Sarah Palin may collect a $7 million advance if she writes a book. [MSNBC]

The Weinstein Company this week released the accompanying portrait from Nine, director Rob Marshall's musical currently shooting in London. The occasion was the American Film Market, where foreign buyers (and probably not just a few domestic distributors smelling blood) rummaged through Harvey's Dollar Store for bargains on TWC properties, and as the photo suggests, nothing says "deal" like Penelope Cruz in her best bladder-holding pose opposite a spread-eagled Fergie. (Click through for a larger image.)And that's not even counting the four Oscar winners on display: Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard and Dame Judi Dench. And look at Kate Hudson! Even the PA's get to be all dressed up on this movie! Dec. 11, 2009, can't come soon enough!

Click to viewBoomp3.com A couple of fiendish film flashers got their Halloween jollies in a day early as they spooked spectacular sassy screen star Kate Hudson at popular celeb hangout, LAX. The fiends wore spooky burlap sacks over the faces and shouted scary phrases like “Boo!” and “John McCain won the election!” while jumping out in front of the Raising Helen star. [Photo Credit: WENN] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Potential Los Angeles Clippers savior Baron Davis was spotted leaving an event with Kate Hudson on Monday night. Before hoping into his SUV, Hudson jokingly told the baller that if he had signed with the Lakers he could have probably partied with even bigger celebrities like Cloris Leachman or Angelina Jolie. David politely told Hudson that there was nobody bigger than her, then bit his thumb and thought about all the fun he could be having if he wore purple and gold. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

With My Best Friend's Girl abysmal box office performance last weekend now behind us, we've been pondering the fallout of some of film's stars. Obviously Jason Biggs is always going to be known as the dude who stuck his peen in an apple pie. And Dane Cook's MySpace rants have gotten more views than all of his films put together. But Kate Hudson! We had so much hope for you, spawn of Goldie Hawn. Once a flaxen-haired hippie goddess with daisies laced in your hair, your gracefully slept your way to the top of the Stillwater groupies in Almost Famous. And you were almost more endearing than annoying in How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, which we must admit we occasionally watch on TBS when our plans fall through on a Friday night. We thought you might be on your way to becoming the queen of chick flicks, but now, you've taken it too far.How you suddenly went from a cute, perky blonde ingénue to a shrill, talentless flop is puzzling, but we have a feeling the downward spiral began when you took on the gem that was Fool's Gold, in which you reprised your stale dynamic with co-star Matthew McConaughey. Okay, so the film did decently, pulling in $70 million stateside. But it was the film that officially marked you as a romantic foil. You've made a habit out of banking on your hunky co-stars - even doubling up with the Wilson brothers by taking Owen in You, Me, and Dupree, and Luke in Alex and Emma. No longer are you the enticing, independent Penny Lane we once knew who wanted to establish her own identity as an actress. Instead, you seem more interested in raising your dating profile by serving as Lance Armstrong's last blonde-of-the-month. And we're not the only ones who are upset. Your poor career choices have also angered film blogger Jeffrey Wells, who has some harsh words for you: