The tragic death Saturday night of Dr. Donda West from what appears to have been complications following plastic surgery has done nothing for our already dour moods around Defamer HQ. Moms, after all, are supposed to make grilled cheeses on rainy days and be our dates for our first Best Screenplay nominations—not die senselessly from elective cosmetic procedures. A round-up of what we know so far:
Publicity averse hip-hop artists Kanye West and 50 Cent, as you may have heard, have mutually agreed to participate in a "feud" over the sales of their just-released albums, wherein 50 has promised to retire if West's CD outsells his, and West has pledged to suffer a marginally more intense conniption of wounded self-regard at the next awards show that fails to recognize his greatness if outdone by his rival. As we're deeply invested in the outcome of this competition, we dispatched Defamer videographer Molly McAleer to Hollywood's Amoeba Records for an update on the early results of the local sales race and some incisive analysis of the rapping frenemies.
Britney Spears' performance at Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards show remains the nation's only important topic of conversation. The poor thing was exploited by MTV, says Kanye West, who certainly has no axe to grind with the network even though they haven't given him one of those idiot moonman statuettes for two years. While her performance has been compared to a variety of both natural and man-made disasters, including "a catatonic reenactment of an Ambien overdose," a "partial-birth abortion as performance art," and "The Holocaust," the singer still has some defenders.
Recounts the Post: "PAMELA Anderson's exes got into a slapfest during the MTV Video Music Awards last night, taking jabs at each other right after their siliconed siren introduced Alicia Keys. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee were sitting precariously close to each other—given their history of rowdy behavior—at the ceremony at the Palms Casino when Rock 'sucker smacked' Lee, the Post's Sandra Guzman reports. The ensuing fight lasted 15 seconds and each man was escorted out separately by security." That fracas, unfortunately, occurred off-camera. Here, however, is our generation's Helen of Troy discussing her hot make-out session with Kanye West.
Kanye West likes to keep clean! His tour rider requires venues to provide various Duane Reade-ish items, such as Carmex lip balm, one pair of white tube socks, a "soft bristle" toothbrush (maybe he has sensitive gums?), one pair of large black soft cotton boxers, Neutrogena dandruff shampoo, Neutrogena face scrub, and baby wipes. Also: Perhaps the "Tabasco sauce, Caribbean style" is related to the baby wipes? Anyone ever think of that?
• If you want to win in the end, you've got to indoctrinate them when they're young. [LittleDemocrats]
• Whitney Houston's sober, and you've got Courtney Love to thank for it. Now just imagine how that all came about. [Idolator]
• Why in the name of God is Men's Vogue hosting a slideshow of Francesco Vezzoli's Caligula? This really doesn't help their case. [Men's Vogue]
• The New Yorker pacifies toddlers and puts to sleep people of all ages. [Flickr]
• Giorgio Armani designs tomorrow's issue of the Independent, affectionately called the Red Issue. Just like his skin. [Independent]
• Only hipsters would upload a video with puppets singing about hipsters. [Animal]
• Murray's Hill: an imagined sitcom with music by the Fray, sponsored by Sparks. [Leveraged Sellout]
• Kanye West is many things to many people. Many Gay things. [One D at a Time]
• Jane editor Brandon Holley abandons punk roots, gets engaged. Mazel tov, ya sellout! [FishbowlNY]
• Sad news for fans of excellent British automotive television: Top Gear's Richard Hammond has been in a car accident. At 280 MPH. [Jalopnik]
• Linday Lohan's late night party habits may get her kicked out of her LA "home," the Chateau Marmont. It's not that the hotel mind the ruckus — they just really want to avoid another Belushi incident. Take it to the Roosevelt, missy. [Page Six]
• As there really is no limit to Britney Spears' stupidity, she's rumored to be renewing her vows with K-Fed and giving him a black AmEx card. It's amazing this girl can wipe her own ass. Or maybe we shouldn't assume. [Scoop]
• Lloyd Grove copies bitchy Conde Nast cafeteria comment cards, makes column of them, goes back to sleep. [Lowdown]
• If you live in Jodie Foster's West Village building, don't ask her for a cup of milk or some sugar, because she'll be a bitch about it. [Page Six]
• Speaking of bitches, Kanye West was a real treat at Lollapalooza. [R&M]
• The wit and wisdom of Flavor Flav. [Us Weekly]
• Diddy hires a hot piece of Kwat as his new manager. [Page Six]
• The Catholics respond to the Kanye West's Jesusy Rolling Stone as exploitation of a poor soul, and the work of a "morally and mentally challenged" person. Personally, we'd never talk about Jann Wenner like that. [R&M]
• Ellen Barkin is in the process of moving her life out of soon-to-be-ex-hubby Ron Perelman's 63rd Street fortess — but where she moves to depends on whether or not their divorce misses some pre-nup deadlines. [Page Six]
• At one of the dozens of Sundance parties, a junior publicist for Harrison Shriftman faints. A witness describes this as "buzzkill." Yeah, dude, losing consciousness totally harshes on our mellow. [Lowdown (2nd to last)]
• Actor Chris Penn, brother of Sean, is dead at 40, and no one seems to know why. [Defamer]
• Tommy Mottola is a mean, a racist, and now, interested in some a very, very devilish television development. [Page Six]
Rapper Kanye West dominates the latest issue of Rolling Stone, which should hit stands tomorrow. In the interview, West divulges that he's dating a young MTV staffer, reveals how to walk on water, and discusses his responsibilities as Son of Man. We recommend you click the image to enlarge, just so you can appreciate the Christ-like detail in His bloody gashes and crown of thorns.
· Tragically, Matt Damon's baby will eventually be subjected to endless playground ridicule for being born only half-famous. Is there a special school for that? There should be.
· A white hat, a black hat, a young man, an old man...a showdown at the OK Baggage claim.
· Why are we killing ourselves trying to sell t-shirts when we could be making so much more money in another line of business?
· Say what you will about Kanye West, but the man has no problem with low self-esteem.
ABC's annual celebration of overstatement, tear-jerking, and gauzy lense effects, Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005, airs tonight at 10 p.m., and this year's list, while not quite scaling the fascination heights of last year's, is at the very least mildly diverting, especially when your other options are a rerun of Criminal Minds and the Fox local news.
By now, we imagine that nearly everyone is aware of Kanye West's incredible demonstration of his freestyling gifts on NBC's Friday evening "We Care the Most About Hurricane Relief Because Our Concert Was On First" telethon. (If not, here's a transcript.) We'll cut to the money shot, because we've already spent a good portion of the weekend recreating the exchange for friends who missed it: After West went off-book (kids, ask your acting coach!) to rant about the media's coverage of the hurricane (i.e., black people loot, white people find) and the government's response to the disaster, stunned co-presenter Mike Myers dutifully continued with the teleprompter script. West then punctuated the segment with the Sound Bite Heard 'Round The World: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." In the incredibly uncomfortable two seconds that followed, Myers registered a look of utter helplessness, as if wishing he could crawl into a protective cocoon of two hundred pounds of Fat Bastard latex, and NBC then quick-cut to a clearly unprepared Chris Tucker, who floundered about with some ad-libbed exhortations for people to help, help, help. And...scene. Live television history is made, Kanye West becomes a folk hero, and we're officially the 29,000th blog to offer a blow-by-blow of the events. SNL sketches to follow.
It was the freak-out heard 'round the world: On Friday night's "all-star" hurricane relief telethon, the usually cocktastic rapper Kanye West decided not to read his script and, instead of speaking about the devastation this-and-that, went fantastically batshit. "I hate the way they portray us in the media," he began, launching into a tirade about how terrible it is to see his people suffering in such a manner and how he was ashamed to have gone shopping (probably for the very outfit he was wearing during the broadcast) before donating a single cent.
