Kanye's White Album: Disappointed white girls around the world are doing some deep soul searching this week, summoning the glamour, self-possession and resonant bosom that might someday earn them the distinction of being Kanye West's "Favorite White Girl." For now, however, it's Scarlett Johansson's title to lose — an honor bestowed in a few dozen sexy photos recently uploaded without comment to the hip-hop star's blog. Despite his mysterious criteria, West's fans appear to agree for the most part, with only a few dissenting voices ("I mean can i see atleast ONE dark skin black person on here.... you got all these no-name porn chicks...") among the oversexed ranks and his rumored second choice — a jilted Helen Mirren — reportedly erasing her commenter profile in protest. Better luck next year, girl. [Kanye West via US Weekly]

A long list of A-listers are expected to show up in Denver for the Democratic National Convention on August 25 to 28th. Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Russell Simmons, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Ed Norton, and Spike Lee are expected to attend; Fergie, Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, and Usher are in talks to perform. Alas, Erik Estrada has yet to confirm his appearance in Saint Paul, MN. [NYDN]

Star Jones eating lunch outdoors at BLT Market .. Kirsten Dunst with coffee and a cigarette downtown ... Kanye West chatting on his cell in the West Village ... Rachel Bilson cooling off with a smoothie ... 50 Cent showing up to court in Islip, NY ... Aaron Eckhart coming back to his hotel after a sweaty afternoon jog ... Heidi Klum leaving her Village apartment building with zebra print luggage ... Richie Sambora showing up in Midtown with his daughter ... Meg Ryan taking a solo stroll through SoHo ... and Pink licking her arm during an outdoor lunch at Cipriani Downtown.

Some internet person made the outrageous assertion that hip hop superstar Kanye West might be using some hired help to keep up with the posting on his blog. The rapper has a "ghost blogger" named Marcus Troy, they say. Kanye will be damned if he sits back and allows his fans to believe that he does not personally type every rant and find every photo of oddly shaped foreign water bottles all by himself! Ghost blogger? Psht! Kanye has posted irrefutable evidence that his blog is a one man operation:

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Aaron Eckhart showing up at the Today show to promote Dark Knight ... John Mayer hamming it up for the cameras downtown ... Natalie Portman carrying a doggie bag in the Village ... Kanye West with a Louis Vuitton backpack waiting for his car ... Gabrielle Union crossing the street on Central Park South ... Heidi Klum leaving her West Village apartment in a hurry ... Everybody Love Raymond's Brad Garrett at Columbus Circle with a female friend ... Whoopi Goldberg taking a walk near her apartment in SoHo ... Restaurateur Drew Nieporent sitting in the first row at the All-Star Game last night ... Kelly Osbourne leaving a lunch downtown ... Kimora Lee Simmons arriving at a party to promote Fabulosity, her newest clothing line.

You know what's really heartwarming? When the world's most powerful celebrities manage to keep things in perspective, and realize that their little quibbles and irritations are nothing compared to the struggles average people face. Of course, that's not to suggest the famous are immune from real traumas, like when a fashion magazine comes to your house, takes pictures, and then slightly misdescribes one of those pictures in a caption.

• What on earth is going on? Anna Wintour wore the same Carolina Herrera dress three times in two weeks: At Milan fashion week, at Wimbledon, and at the Karl Lagerfeld show in Paris. The floral shift had been altered to fit her famous stick insect figure. As if that's any excuse. [Telegraph]
  

When times are slow in the world of celebrity gossip, two people can always be counted on to liven things up a bit: Amy Winehouse and Kanye West. And now those two powerhouses of crazy have joined forces to pump out a story that is ...hold on to your hats... mildly interesting!

· If the Mini-Me sex tape wasn't enough to convince you to abstain from sex for the rest of your life, this clip of The Ladies Of The View debating whether or not to go topless in Vegas likely will. [The View]
· Remember that scene in One Crazy Summer where Savage Steve Holland's "cute and fuzzy bunnies" turned into mass murdering psychos? Well, this is kind of like that, only for real. [Videogum]
· Has modern life killed the semi-colon? We're not sure ... but we do know that ellipses are more popular than ever... [Slate via Fimoculous]
· The naming rights for the historic Los Angeles Coliseum are for sale. Here's hoping Jumbo's Clown Room starts up a collection fund, 'cause that's one cause we'd totally contribute to. [LA Observed]
· The missing link between Kanye West and Gary Busey has finally been discovered. And that link is ... squid brains? [Detroit News]

Pictured: Kanye West posing next to once-dignified boxing hero Muhammad Ali, who is wearing Kanye's shutter shades. We know this is Kanye's favorite pastime, but it should really be reserved for less noble fashion victims. Now we have to go cry. (Click to enlarge). [Consequence via Byron Crawford]

Assorted hippies at the Bonnaroo music festival booed Kanye West last week after his show started eight hours late, at 4:30 in the morning. YOU UNGRATEFUL HIPPIE BASTARDS. Did you think that Kanye West would stand by and allow negative articles about him to appear on Digg without STRIKING BACK on his blog with CAPITAL LETTERS AS WELL AS EXCLAMATION POINTS?!? Shows what you know, SQUID BRAINS!

Latest rap star Soulja Boy and ancient rap star Ice T are fighting on YouTube. The 17-year-old who got famous on the Internet (over 60 million views for his music video "Crank That") is using the site to demonstrate how fresh he is, and how irrelevant Ice T (age 49) is. The fight started when Ice T said that Soulja Boy "singlehandedly killed hip-hop." Soulja Boy answered by looking up Ice T on Wikipedia and mocking him on YouTube for being old. Ice T returned with an apology — and then trashed Soulja Boy even harder. All three clips below, along with Kanye West's commentary.

Kanye West was scheduled to play at the hippie-infested Bonnaroo music festival in Tennessee last weekend at 8:15 p.m. Then he pushed it back to 2:45 a.m. to better take advantage of his fresh-ass neon stage set. Then he didn't show up until 4:30 a.m. This angered the assembled hippies, who took to booing, scrawling anti-Kanye graffiti, and waving signs protesting his insensitivity for hippie time management. One, he's a jerk. Two, why would anyone stay up all night waiting to see a Kanye West show? Three, every hip hop show starts two hours late. Get used to it, hippies. [via Animal NY]

It is only natural that the hilariously obnoxious Craigslist Cash-Waver guy was wearing a pair of those hilariously obnoxious sunglasses from Kanye West's "Stronger" video. Ahead of the zeitgeist as usual, fashion-conscious rapper West has actually been soliciting such poses for months now on his personal website, and has assembled a nice trove of responses, a tipster notes. The fellow above and to the right, for example, had his "Stronger" picture taken while standing in the "Kid's Video" section of his local DVD rental shop. West can't lose: He gets to sell his $10 sunglasses in earnest to fans who think the photos look chic, and as ironic accessories to people who laugh at them (or just want to look like the money-fan guy). More hard poses, along with selected comments from West's site, after the jump.

• Amy Winehouse fainted at home yesterday and spent the night undergoing testing at a London hospital. So far the tests have proved inconclusive and doctors are stumped as to what exactly happened, which clearly means they're not reading the tabloids. [Reuters]

• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may have skipped the big wedding, but that doesn't mean they want to skip all the big presents. The duo has apparently registered at Bergdorf's, where they're encouraging friends to buy them fine china and expensive stemwear. [Page Six]

• Everyone was partying in the Hamptons this weekend. Molly Sims celebrated her birthday in Sag Harbor. Leo DiCaprio partied at Dune. Jeffrey Chodorow and Charlie Walk threw a dinner at the Kobe Beach Club. Even newly-convicted felon Wesley Snipes, who is free on bail, flew in to get wasted at a party in Water Mill. [Page Six]

Yesterday, Kanye West got all screechy and babyish about a luke warm Entertainment Weekly review. Today, he has blogger's remorse. He says on his website, "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old."

Poor Kanye West. Entertainment Weekly recently gave the performer's (rapper's? I only know that one song from like four years ago) concert at Seattle's Key Arena a mere B+. That didn't sit well. Not at all. On his website, West states: "Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try and throw ya'll two cents in? Ya'll rated my album shitty and now ya'll come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-!" You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!!"

It's bottled water—for kids! Fortified with vitamins, minerals, and especially good old H2O. Finally, no more arguing with your kids to hush up and drink their Evian. Yves Behar has designed this "Y Water," featuring bottles that are also toys. And Kanye West loves it! I think I heard of this "bottled water that kids love" idea back when it was called "Capri Sun." Anyhow, I'm sure this product is both necessary, and a great value. Not to mention the obvious benefits for the plastics industry. Two fun-loving pics of children enjoying this capitalist monstrosity, after the jump.