The Texas Court of Appeals ruled that a condemned man's execution should go forward even though the judge in his case was sleeping with the prosecutor. And the judge in question has an unintentionally comical rebuke, for her detractors!

Scott Roeder has been convicted of the premeditated, first-degree murder of Dr. George Tiller. He faces a mandatory life sentence. The jury deliberated for 37 minutes. [Kansas City Star]

The stars of Jersey Shore know how to haggle. NBC buys a show from Conan O'Brien. Everyone loves Clint Eastwood, Martha Stewart pulls an Oprah and a pharmaceutical company-backed obesity documentary raises eyebrows. Are you ready for trade roundup time?

After two board members were charged with theft and sexual harassment, members of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference marched through Atlanta "with signs...calling the [SCLC's own] board members thieves and liars." The view from the mountaintop is unspeakably beautiful. [NYT]

This is one badass citizen's arrest. After two thieves steal a woman's purse, they make off on a moped. Little did they know they would be immediately thwarted by a man hurling his bike right at their thieving faces.

Brooke Astor's son Anthony Marshall has been sentenced to one to three years in prison.

How many Polish guys did it take to steal the Auschwitz sign? Five, according to police—who, we should stress, were also Polish, so let's not stereotype anyone, on this, of all stories. [CNN. Pic: AP]

Well, as it turns out, Washington DC residents know exactly how much of a joke 911 is in their own town, after a cop. Pulled a gun. On kids. Throwing snowballs. Yeah, and they're reading this cop the riot act.

Roman Polanski gets to spend the holidays (maybe longer) in his Swiss chalet. [ABC]

Vice: "How To Ruin Music." Missing: "Let Justice remix your song." They're French, too.

An appeals court ruled that Columbia University can't use eminent domain to grab property it wants for its expansion just by calling its neighborhood "blighted." The judges pointed out: Columbia is so freaking shady.

Time Inc. has opened up a fantastic new market: charging its freelancers for the privilege of being paid for their work in a timely fashion.

Firas Al-Qaisi is an Iraqi attorney who risked his life helping the American forces in Baghdad which led to weeks of torture and dentention by Shiite militias. Now he's suing the U.S. for $200 million for trying to murder him.

Ew, guys, seriously: Stop groping women on the subway. Complaints of sexual abuse in New York subways are up four percent this year, to 587.

If you're a sexxxy lady, reactionary New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser will rhapsodize about your long, smooth legs. But if you're an ugly, fat, liberal lady (by Peyser standards), Andrea Peyser wishes you death. Lonely, ugly, fat death.

From the start it has been one of the most annoying criminal cases, and now it's ending as irritatingly as it began. Canadian prosecutors dropped assault charges against Black Eyed Peas manager Liborio Molina after he apologized to Perez Hilton.

Louisiana judge Keith Bardwell, who stood up against interracial marriage, has resigned. What a character!

While jail is no fun for anyone, it's least fun for movie directors, accustomed to playing dictator over a set of hundreds. But in the 1970s in California, incarcerated directors don't have to just spend their days dreaming.

The trial of Brooke Astor's son, who was charged with defrauding her because he's a greedy old prick: that was still going on, this whole time! Until now, because the verdict's in.

Yeah, yeah: Roman Polanski may go to prison for having sex with a drunk pre-teen girl, but what about the real victim here? His latest and possibly last movie, The Ghost...