This morning, Rob Thomas accidentally removed a chunk of his left hand's middle finger while preparing breakfast. Jose Canseco accidentally removed a chunk of same with a handgun in October, and shortly after Thomas' mishap, the legendary ballplayer took to Twitter to commiserate.

Former MLB slugger and avid Twitter user Jose Canseco had an accident last night. According to his fiancé, Leila Knight, Canseco shot himself in his left hand while cleaning his semiautomatic handgun. She told TMZ the shot "ripped through the middle finger on his left hand."

Do you have questions about gravity? Have you thought about why nothing REALLY big exists today in nature? Have you ever wondered how 30-foot leather birds were once able to fly? If so, today is your lucky day because Jose Canseco, the world's best Twitter user, has taken to the internet to explain his fascinating theories about gravity, dinosaurs and giant birds.

A brilliant neutron star winked out of existence today, when grammar-challenged baseball player Jose Canseco abruptly shut down his wonderful Twitter account. But "Jose Canseco" is not currently trending on Twitter, probably because anyone who would be tweeting about it is on the floor weeping.

Jose Canseco is the T.S. Eliot of Twitter. But how does this washed-up baseball star and confessed steroid user manage to churn out an endless stream of brilliantly twisted tweets? Maybe he has help.

Jose Canseco is on a fresh Twitter rampage. His most recent batch of tweets have crossed over from your garden variety hilarious and incoherent to something straight up worrisome.

There's been plenty written on Jose Canseco's bizarre and revealing Twitter account, but today's offerings are particularly rich. Canseco has been especially prolific of late, following his removal from the Mexican Baseball League. And while many of his tweets are simply angry or pleading — or informative, when it comes to the totally legitimate reasons behind injecting testosterone — today he's showing off his more poetic side.

Rihanna's concert in Dallas burst into flames! David Letterman's set was broken in to by a vandal! Some women didn't recognize Kellan Lutz! The Royals met Jack Black! Sunday gossip is filled with stories of doom and disaster!

Lindsay Lohan turns 23 today. Larry David is turning 62. Singer Michelle Branch is 26. High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale turns 24. The chairwoman of the New York City Opera, Susan Baker, is turning 59. Nobel Prize-winning neuroscientist Richard Axel turns 63. Former New Hampshire governor John Sununu is 69. Former model Jerry Hall is 53. Retired baseball player José Canseco turns 45. And Imelda Marcos, the former First Lady of the Philippines, celebrates her 80th birthday today.

• It's still unclear what set off Chris Brown and Rihanna's fight on Sunday night (and both have been tucked away in hiding since it occurred). Could it have had something to do with Leona Lewis? Paris Hilton? Was a sexually transmitted disease involved? One person Brown might want to consider explaining himself to is Jay-Z, who reportedly "hit the roof" when he found out about the attack and is now telling friends that Chris is a "walking dead man." [Star, OK!, Gawker, NYP]
• Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love have been secretly dating for the past three weeks. Sounds like a perfect match. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry is in trouble for making racially-insensitive comments. [Sun]