Unemployed? Faking your own death is not a viable career option.

Donald Trump's shitty Jones Beach restaurant idea, "Trump on the Ocean," still faces stiff local opposition and he's pissed: "I was going to build a magnificent building on the boardwalk that would have made Robert Moses envious and proud." Gross.

A dead baleen humpback whale calf washed ashore near Jones Beach State Park on Long Island Thursday morning showing signs of decomposition, leading park officials to believe it had died at sea. [LI Press; Getty]

They get a little closer every day! Just yesterday one of the meat-crazed super-fish was defeated by a crew of life guards after it snuck up on some swimmers at Jones Beach. That's a real beach! Not some silly, pissy Hamptons beach where you deserve to be chomped into chum!