Last time we saw literally blood-sucking Republican Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, he was absconding with his child bride. Now he's back with a challenge for Twilight star Robert Pattinson: "Let him prove [his vampire credentials] on a field of battle!"

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey lives in New Jersey and usually limits his Luciferian powers to third-party runs for office. (Platform: "I WILL IMPALE THEM! [criminals]") Then a YouTube proposal to his 16-year-old girlfriend ignited a nationwide manhunt and internet flamewar.