Bernie Madoff has a new legal foe to contend with. Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently in prison in South Carolina for wire fraud, has submitted papers to a judge in which he claims he handed over money to Madoff, but then lost it when Bernie put it in a "Swiss account Ponzi." The best bit: "Riches claims he met Madoff in 2001 via the online dating site eHarmony.com and the two had an intimate relationship." Before you get too alarmed, you may want to keep in mind that this is the same man who sued Michael Vick for $63 billion in 2007 for stealing his pit bulls and using the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran. [Dealbook]

Earlier this month, a $150 million lawsuit was filed against Time Warner and AOL, with some stunning charges: Credit card fraud, civil rights violations, and discrimination towards people with "bowel problems." Why haven't you heard of this scandal? Probably the same reason you haven't heard of the other recent lawsuits against Martha Stewart, Brad Pitt, Jake Gyllenhaal, George Clooney, Padma Lakshmi, Anderson Cooper, Oprah Winfrey, Slobodan Milosevic, Mumia Abu-Jamal, Lemony Snicket, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, and Mack's Famous Boardwalk Pizza: They were all filed by Jonathan Lee Riches, the most suing-est federal prisoner you ever could hope to meet! Just this month, Riches has filed hundreds of suits against the most famous people, places, and things in the world. And he has some VERY serious complaints.