Bloomberg View columnist and longtime Newsweek man Jonathan Alter has a new book coming out that includes details about jowly shithead Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News. Politico's media reporter Dylan Byers writes that excerpts from the book show that Alter "reveals a number of surprising facts about the Fox News chief that, taken together, make him out to appear extraordinarily paranoid." Yes, Roger Ailes is paranoid. But Alter didn't "reveal" anything new at all.

In an attempt to construct a witty cover, Newsweek seems to claim that Obama isn't president. Jonathan Alter's article explores and debunks the network of conspiracy theories surrounding the president. But the cover lines' kind of affirm one myth. D'oh.

Last Friday, professional media beef-starter Michael Wolff called Newsweek's Jonathan Alter "the most pompous man in American journalism." Today, Wolff's column dismissively cited Alter's new book about Barack Obama. This confluence of Wolff-isms sent Jonathan Alter over the edge.

Remember the 2008 presidential campaign? And do you remember the hundreds of journalists who were going to write books about that campaign? Many of those books are almost done. Don't worry: there are hundreds more still in the pipeline!

Elisabeth Shue celebrates her 46th birthday today. Bright young thing Olivia Thirlby is turning 23. Actor Jeremy Sisto is turning 35. Newsweek's Jonathan Alter turns 52. REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin is turning 58. Author Joseph Finder is 51. Singer Matthew Sweet is 45. And former WNBA star (and now ESPN commentator) Rebecca Lobo turns 36 today.

Elisabeth Shue celebrates her 45th birthday today. Actor Jeremy Sisto is 34. Singer/songwriter Matthew Sweet turns 44. REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin is 57. Novelist Joseph Finder is turning 50. Comedian Jeff Davis is 35. And Newsweek's Jonathan Alter is 51.

Hah. Newsweek's Jonathan Alter is upset about that New Yorker cover. Because he knows the power of images and of repeating smears, even for satirical or debunking purposes. Which is why, after he derides the cover, he then presents a list of every anti-Obama smear he can think of, all listed in bold text. Whoops! To help reverse the damage this column will cause, we present here another pro-Obama photoshop. In this one he is athletic and virile!

It was sneaky, unpaid, unidentified Huffington Post citizen "journalist" Mayhill Fowler who got Bill Clinton to call the author of that Vanity Fair slam piece a scumbag-and that's just not fair! Newsweek's Jonathan Alter weighs in: "'This makes it very difficult for the rest of us to do our jobs. [...] If you don't have trust, you don't get good stories. If someone comes along and uses deception to shatter that trust, she has hurt the very cause of a free flow of public information that she claims she wants to assist. You identify yourself when you're interviewing somebody,' Mr. Alter added. 'It's just a form of cheating not to.'" Opposing view?

Alter is a senior editor and columnist at Newsweek and covers politics and the media. He's known for moderate liberal stances and for popping up on habitually on NBC programs.