Joe Scarborough—a former U.S. Congressman and MSNBC's aging jam band dad—said today on Morning Joe that the two reporters detained in Ferguson, Missouri should have just listened to the police. In Scarborough's mind, The Washington Post's Wesley Lowery and The Huffington Post's Ryan J. Reilly just wanted to get on TV.

"Friday changed everything," proclaimed MSNBC's Joe Scarborough at the onset of a ten-minute monologue he delivered during this morning's Morning Joe — and that change began at home for the former congressman.

Is Morning Joe the most offensive morning news and talk show on cable television? Seriously, it's like you can't turn it on without catching something vulgar and indecent. Just watch this video: Harold Ford is presented as an intelligent, thoughtful person with valuable and considered opinions. Children watch this show! What if my kid comes home and starts imitating these people? Maybe you want a nation of tiny Mark Halperins running around—I, for one, do not.

The first question you probably asked yourself when you got out of bed this morning was probably, "What insightful opinions can Ann Coulter share with me today?" And now you'll never now, thanks to the oppressive "douche bags" at Morning Joe, who bleeped out about 13 seconds of Coulter's hilariously edgy political commentary:

Bill Clinton popped into MSNBC's Morning Joe this morning, for some reason. Perhaps because all the dentists offering root canals were booked at the time? Oh, yes, he had to promote his new policy book! Anyhoo, he really wants to be president again.

Coffee marketers and morning-show hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski are writing a memoir. Together. Because the fact that you see them on the TV together means that you want to read about them both at the same time! If you'd like to read about them separately, pick up Brzezinski's 2009 already written memoir All Things at Once and Scarborough's 2004 "part memoir, part political treatise" Rome Wasn't Burnt in a Day. Maybe this new one will have awesome sex scenes, or something.

Aging television presenter Joe Scarborough is so desperate for you to know that he's cool and plays guitar and likes Elvis Costello that he decided to defile the memories of all those who died on 9/11 and in its subsequent wars with this horrible fucking song that will make you crack your teeth open with rage if you listen to it. Serving as a foot soldier for Newt Gingrich and rushing to the defense of an abortion doctor's murderer are no longer the worst things Scarborough has ever done. Playing rock star with dead people is.

MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, an ex-congressman, says he "may feel the need to run for office again" if the "absence of leadership" among Washington dingbats worsens. Obviously if he ran for anything, the country would be saved within minutes.

Brian Williams has a definite opinion on what the media story 2010 is, and it's not the iPad. Watch his deadpan diatribe praising the NY Times for finally venturing into the outer borough of ironic glass frames and artisanal cheeses.

Mika showed up late to Morning Joe today and upon her arrival, the producer read a letter from a fan concerned for Mika's well-being. Mika defends herself, but adds at the end, "and I like my vodka." Us, too.

When Morning Joe tossed the broadcast over to Erin Burnett for the unemployment report, they interrupted a Christmas celebration that involved a bra cut in half and used as a gas mask and a farting reindeer doll. Merry craziness, everyone.

If I asked you what the biggest problem facing American politics is, what would you say? Would you say "a lack of civility"? If so, get excited, because, oh boy do I have a political movement for you!

MSNBC, just to put itself on the record as "consistent," has suspended Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough for the same reason it suspended Keith Olbermann: Political donations without advance approval. Interestingly, Politico, where Scarborough writes a column, instigated the suspension.

According to The Huffington Post, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and MSNBC host Joe Scarborough "have begun trying to figure out whether they could be an independent presidential ticket in 2012." Here's how they could win.

Joe Scarborough thoroughly charmed the hosts' of The View today. Barbara Walters asked him about flirting in the workplace and Joe responds by doing exactly that. MSNBC anchors seem to do much better on The View than Fox News anchors.

MSNBC suspended Keith Olbermann because he donated to candidates' campaigns. Uh, so did Joe Scarborough. Alabama campaign finance records show he made a $5,000 donation to an Alabama state legislative candidate. Scarborough claims it was his wife's donation.

Today on Morning Joe, our always modest host vocalized that he felt Emanuel could not win in Chicago if he kept his yoga-toned body. "Eat the damn doughnut!" said Joe. Jealousy does not become you, Mr. Scarborough.

MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell plagiarizes not only Katie Couric's questions, but also her "serious face." Watch the Couric-Palin/O'Donnell-Johnston interview side by side. Also note the similarity in Palin's and Captain Knock 'er Up's responses.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Is there anyone who doesn't love Snooki?" I have, and I could never answer, "Yes!" until this morning, when—during a Morning Joe discussion on education—Lawrence O'Donnell hated on the Princess of Poughkeepsie.

Today on Morning Joe, fearless host Joe Scarborough listed all the exciting topics the show discussed in the past two days. "We hit our sweet spot!" he delcares. Indeed you did, Joe. Indeed you did.