In your cinematic Wednesday media column: the New York Times documentary is almost here, the Hearst way is the way of the future, fashion news doesn't stop, more finger-wagging at Howard Kurtz, and Joanne Lipman has opinions, against all odds.

Remember Portfolio? The nearly stillborn Conde publication's fallen editor Joanne Lipman's back, with an editorial for Sunday's Times entitled "The Mismeasure Of Woman," where she argues that feminism's stalled out. Great, except: it's inaccurate, intellectually offensive, and gratingly pompous.

• Both Google and Facebook are getting into the music biz, apparently. [NYT]
• ESPN's Steve Phillips has a pretty messy sex scandal on his hands. [NYP]
• Condé Nast's latest effort to branch out: It's starting discount travel site called Jetsetter in partnership with Gilt Groupe. Meanwhile, this week's Observer recaps Condé's recent problems and reflects on the good 'ol days. [NYT, NYO]
• People's decision to pay big bucks for exclusive pics of kidnapee Jaycee Dugard sure paid off. The issue sold 2 million copies last week. [WWD]
• Who will be the next editor of BusinessWeek? Jon Friedman thinks former Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman would be a "fine choice." And she may be, provided Bloomberg is looking to destroy what's left of the magazine. [MW]
• Michael Steele is now (officially) Us Weekly's editor-in-chief. [NYT]
• How many people despise cable news clown Glenn Beck? Enough that the network has hired a bodyguard to follow him everywhere he goes. [P6]
• Yet another book "by" Michael Jackson may be coming soon. Super! [Crain's]

Isabella Rossellini turns 57 today. Sir Paul McCartney is turning 67. Former Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman is 48. NY1 reporter Dominic Carter is turning 45. Longtime lawyer Barry Slotnick turns 70. Social fixture Kate Schelter is 33. Literary agent David Vigliano is turning 50. Actress Carol Kane is 57. West Virginia Senator Jay Rockefeller is turning 72. And film critic Roger Ebert is celebrating his 67th birthday today.

What's deposed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman been up to since her magazine folded, besides lying about not reading this website? Partying, vacation planning, and blaming others!

• Esquire, The New Yorker, Backpacker, and Wired were all big winners at last night's National Magazine Awards, although the mood was much more subdued this year, not surprisingly. [ NYT, WWD, NYP]
• Portfolio's Joanne Lipman reflects on what went wrong. [Newsweek]
• Hollywood might be on track for its best year ever at the box office. [WSJ]
• A roundup of the winners at the Tribeca Film Festival. [NYT, THR]
• White House Social Secretary Desirée Rogers appears on the cover of the new issue of WSJ. The idea of having her pose in an Oscar de la Renta gown in the First Lady's garden was vetoed by the powers-that-be, wisely. [WWD]

A year before Portfolio's launch, the magazine produced mock-ups, obtained by the New York Observer. The titles are awful, but the cover lines reveal a compelling vision editor Joanne Lipman couldn't pull off.

Paul Smalera, a Portfolio staff writer who was laid off before it shut down today, argues that it was hubris and an obstinate editor — not the economy — that doomed Conde Nast's business mag.

• You can rest easier now: Now that he's no longer planning to run for Senate, Chris Matthews has signed a new four-year contract with MSNBC. [NYT]
• Howard Dean has signed on to be a CNBC contributor. [HP]
• Major media companies are now looking for a bailout. From Google. [AdAge]
• Jay Leno's chat with Obama was his fourth most-watched show ever. [LAT]
• Some perks may be curtailed at Condé Nast. Like the one that allowed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman to fly to Davos first-class, possibly. [NYP]
• Advance Publications is instituting mandatory 10-day furloughs and a pension freeze at nearly all of its daily papers, says Steve Newhouse. [E&P]
• Time publisher Don Fries is headed out the door. [NYP]
• NBC is very good at spinning the Times, in case you haven't noticed. [CJR]
• Knowing starring Nic Cage was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [NYDN]

• Further evidence CNN's Jon Klein should start polishing his resume: The network continues to trail Fox News, MSNBC, and Headline News. [Portfolio]
• Obama's performance on The Tonight Show will keep people talking for awhile (and not in a good way, clearly), but the ratings were huge. [Time, THR]
• The April issue of Portfolio is the slimmest in Condé Nast's history. [NYP]
• Charla Lawhon is stepping down as managing editor of In Style. [WWD]
• Your prayers have been answered: VH1 is reviving Behind the Music. [NYP]
• Bob Pittman says the ad industry should get a bailout, too. [Fortune]
• Fox News's Greta Van Susteren is denying her husband is a paid adviser to Sarah Palin, but she admits that he gives her advice and "helps" her. [HP]
• SpiralFrog, the glitzy music site that launched in 2006, has gone bust. [PC]
• Broadway dimmed the lights last night in honor of Natasha Richardson. [THR]

Tiniest Condé Nast magazine ever: the 106-page April Portfolio.

Joanne Lipman, the diva editor of Portfolio, is becoming known for her disastrous cover decisions. The worst, perhaps, involved the president and Annie Leibovitz.

• Jon Stewart's smackdown of Jim Cramer last week generated some of the biggest ratings The Daily Show has ever seen, not surprisingly. [MediaPost]
• Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman has once again defied logic (and some of her Condé colleagues) by putting Sarah Palin on the cover of the new issue. [WWD]
• Condé Nast is expected to trim Richard Beckman's ad sales group. [AdAge]
• Liberal activists have launched a petition drive targeted at CNBC. [AP]
• ICM's Esther Newberg has sold a memoir by Paul Allen to Penguin. [Crains]
• More on Eric Siminoff's split from Lynn Nesbit and Mort Janklow. [NYO]
• Mel Karmazin sounds off on his fight to redeem Sirius and his rep. [Fortune]
• Ratings for Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice continue to slide. [AdAge]
• 60 Minutes is the "hottest show on TV." Who knew? [Newsweek]

What is wrong with Joanne Lipman? Does the Portfolio editor detest business journalism? Is she trying to finally get fired? There must be some reason she's putting Sarah Palin on next month's cover.

Yes, sure, ok, Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman. You go on TV and claim this year is shaping up as an extraordinary time to buy a home. That's a fine and sensical thing for the editor of a finance magazine to be saying.

Condé Nast is "having the worst year of any publisher," or so a "rival executive" tells Keith Kelly today. The facts pretty much speak for themselves, though: While there's been a 24 percent drop-off in ad pages industry-wide, the Joanne Lipman-edited trainwreck otherwise known as Portfolio is down 60 percent, and Wired has seen its ad pages plummet 57 percent. Any good news? Why, yes, there most certainly is. Golf World is doing quite nicely these days, you'll be happy to hear. [NYP]

Peggy Siegal invited a media-heavy crowd to the Oak Room last night to watch the Super Bowl. Sports Illustrated editor Terry McDonell was in attendance (apparently, budget cuts prevented him from flying to Tampa in person); and some folks, such as former HarperCollins chief Jane Friedman, left, even donned 3-D glasses to fully appreciate the commercials. Others on hand for the festivities: Richard Johnson, Ron Perelman, Dan Abrams, Dave Zinczenko, Joanne Lipman, Charlie Rose, George Rush, Richard Meier, Cece Cord, Kate Betts, Gay Talese, Rocco DiSpirito, Chuck Scarborough, Francine LeFrak, Andrew and Nancy Jarecki, Ron Delsener, Ken Auletta, Larry Gagosian, Lewis Lapham, Steve Kroft, Lloyd Grove, Morgan Entrekin, Ann Dexter-Jones, Harry Smith, Liz Smith, Cynthia McFadden, and Felicia Taylor. [PMc, NYO, GoaG, Fox 411]

Conde Nast, magazine publisher of the gods, is in trouble. Many of its most famous magazines are losing critical amounts of advertising. How bad are things? So bad that Conde is actually making some changes!

• Kate Moss has been telling friends that she wants to branch out into acting so she can become a "Hollywood star," and that she's already lined up an agent in New York. [Showbiz Spy]
• Michael Phelps has issued an apology after photos appeared this weekend in the News of the World showing him smoking weed. [NYP, NOTW]
• Bernie Madoff's grandkids are considering changing their last names. [P6]
• John Thain was hardly the first or the last: Clive Davis, Martin Bandier, and Rolf Schmidt-Holtz have all spent obscene amounts in recent years to redecorate their offices, too. [R&M]
• Despite the fact her magazine is losing millions and has laid off dozens, Portfolio's Joanne Lipman insisted on flying first class to Davos. [P6]

Last month Cityfile unveiled, oh, a hundred or so domain names of famous New Yorkers' names that it had bought, just because it could. Conde Nast immediately marshaled its team of high-powered attorney warriors!