The straight-shootin' blues-rock band JD and The Straight Shot made a rare television appearance on Good Day New York today, and wow—you can really see why these guys got picked to play Madison Square Garden last weekend. (Because Jim Dolan, their singer, owns it.)

New York Knicks owner and JD & the Straight Shot frontman Jim Dolan is bored with ruining the Knicks. His next project: Ruining music.

Saturday, Jim Dolan and his band JD & The Straight Shot will open for the fuckin' Eagles at Madison Square Garden, a storied venue that Dolan happens to own. The performance will surely go down in history as the moment the 59-year-old billionaire Cablevision CEO and father of six became World's Coolest Dad.

Cablevision is said to have finally abandoned its acquisition of city-blog shop Gothamist. Entertainingly enough, Gothamist founder Jake Dobkin can reportedly blame his big mouth for scotching the deal.

Cablevision boss Jim Dolan has created such a PR trainwreck around his supposed acquisition of blog network Gothamist it's hard to imagine the deal ever closing. Dolan's bullying of a journalist may have already killed the shaky-looking deal.

• The Casey Johnson saga continues: Yesterday, Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, both of whom were pals of the late heiress, showed up at Tila Tequila's house to take possession of Casey's two dogs. A screaming fight ensued, and the police had to be called in to mediate, since Tequila claimed the two women were taking away the canines to be euthanized. There's some bizarre video of Tila acting crazy, if you're interested. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Peter Orzsag, the seemingly straight-laced White House budget director (and the owner of the worst toupee in Washington), has been hiding a little secret. It seems he got engaged to ABC News correspondent Bianna Golodryga a few weeks ago only after dumping his previous girlfriend, shipping heiress Claire Milonas, who happened to be pregnant with their baby at the time. [NYP]
• Speaking of embarrassing White House news, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the fameseeking couple who crashed the state dinner back in November, will be collecting $5,000 to host a party at a Las Vegas club next week. [P6]
• The reason Howard Stern regular, Artie Lange, was hospitalized recently: He tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself nine times. Surgeons managed to save him "despite heavy bleeding." [P6]
• Jersey Shore will be coming back for a second season—or at least that's what one of the cast members is now saying. In the meantime, the crew will continue to collect appearance fees for showing up at bars and clubs. Prices range from $3,000 to $7,500 a piece, or you could pay $30,000 for the whole bunch. And just think of all the hair gel that could buy! [NYDN]
• Lady Gaga has signed a deal with Polaroid to become the brand's "creative director and inventor of specialty products." It's a touch unclear what this will entail exactly, but she may develop "imaging products" for the company and market a line of Gaga-branded cameras and accessories. [People, NYP]

Is Tiger Woods hiding out at the Long Island mansion of Jim Dolan, the "controversy-prone CEO of Cablevision and owner of Madison Square Garden and the New York Knicks"? That's what Us Weekly reported this morning, although reps for Dolan have called the story "preposterous." [Us]

CityFile just published a groveling retraction of an item it published in July in the face of a defamation suit from Jim Dolan, the truculent chairman of Cablevision, which owns Newsday.

• Jim Dolan's Cablevision says that Newsday is not for sale, which is good since there isn't a company on the planet that wants to buy it. [E&P]
• David Geffen made an offer to acquire the stake in the New York Times Co. controlled by Phil Falcone's Harbinger fund; Harbinger passed. [Fortune]
• The mood isn't too upbeat at the Cannes Film Festival, unsurprisingly. [THR]
• 60 Minutes' segment on Anna Wintour should air this Sunday. [Gawker]
• As of the publishing biz didn't have enough to worry about, "web pirates" are now posting copies of books on the Internet. [NYT]
• Anderson Cooper's ratings have been on the decline all year. [LAT]
• OK! appears to be dissolving into chaos. [ASSME, Gawker]

• The LA Times ran an ad designed to look like an actual news story on the front page of the paper today. Much criticism has followed, obvs. [ATD, E&P]
• The NYT is asking its reporters to come up with cost-cutting ideas. [NYO]
• A Chicago-based Good Morning America staffer was given the boot after he tried to put his nose job on his corporate credit card. [P6]
• The acquisition of the Wall Street Journal was a giant misstep for News Corp., but Fox News is making Rupert Murdoch some money. [Reuters]
• Cablevision's Jim Dolan earned a $12.5 million pay package last year. [AP]
• Time Warner's Jeff Bewkes raked in $19.9 million in 2008. [MC]
• The 15 top moneymakers on primetime television. [Forbes]
• Barely-living Blackbook is now refusing to pay some freelancers. [Jossip]

• The broadcast of yesterday's inauguration earned the highest ratings since Reagan took the oath in 1981. Early numbers from Nielsen indicate 29% of US households tuned in. That figure doesn't factor in the people who viewed it online, and the big event in DC yesterday set web traffic records, too. [THR, NYT]
• The Wall Street Journal received a dozen envelopes filled with a mysterious white powder today. [WSJ]
• Maria Bartiromo has signed a new contract with CNBC. [NYP]
• Newsday editor John Mancini has returned to work following a dispute with the paper's owner, Cablevision's Jim Dolan. [Newsday, E&P]
• Clear Channel is laying off 9% of its work force. [AdAge]
• People pushed back its Tuesday afternoon deadline to Wednesday so it could publish a special double issue with Obama on the cover. [WWD]
• North Korea's news agency didn't bother to report the inauguration until late yesterday afternoon. The article was three sentences long. [FB]

• The bill for the auction-rate securities mess is now adding up by the hour. Merrill Lynch, Citigroup, UBS, and Morgan Stanley have all contributed to to the tally. [Dealbook]

• That story in the Journal about Barack Obama being too skinny to be president? The reporter pulled the quotes from a message board thread she started herself. The WSJ prints a correction, Slate deconstructs. [Slate, WSJ]

So was the Beacon Theatre sold? That's what the Real Deal claimed yesterday when it reported that the venue had been purchased by Steve Ross's Related Cos. for $33 million. But Related denied the story and the address listed in the article—207 West 76th Street—well, that's a block north of the theater and the venerable home of the Tri-Star parking garage, as the Beacon's website indicates in the section that highlights places you can park your car. Of course, the theater may still be for sale. You'll have to direct your inquiries to Jim Dolan: The Beacon is controlled by MSG Entertainment, which is part of Cablevision. Considering what a big Allman Brothers fan he is, don't get your hopes up.