Finally, hard evidence proving Bill Clinton was not the pimpest of presidents. TMZ has a photo depicting a mid-1950s John Kennedy lazing on a yacht with gorgeous naked ladies. Fascinating, perplexing, historic—but, is it real? No, it's fake.

If you're leaving on vacation today, you may want to bring a few Xanax with you. Angry travelers got so unruly at the Delta terminal at JFK this morning that the police had to be called in. [AP]

Not quite as many people are planning to travel over the long weekend. But don't assume that means you'll have an easier time leaving the city if you do plan on traveling. A new report indicates LaGuardia, JFK, and Newark Airports ranked as the three worst airports in the nation for on-time arrivals through the first nine months of the year. [NY1, AP]

A couple of weeks after turtles managed to disrupt flights at JFK for more than an hour and a half comes more bad news for the city's biggest airport: According to a new poll of 6,200 travelers, JFK is the third-worst airport to sleep in. If you live in NYC and thus have no reason to ever sleep at JFK, be thankful. If you do live here and you're traveling to Moscow (No. 2) and Paris (No. 1), be sure to leave yourself enough time between connecting flights. [NYDN]

Did you fly in or out of Kennedy Airport this morning and find yourself delayed for a good hour and a half or so? There's a good explanation for that. One of the runways was shut down after a pilot reported running over some turtles, and wildlife control workers later had to remove 78 diamondback turtles who'd positioned themselves on the runway because they were "looking for friends of the opposite sex. Yes, it's turtle mating season. And, yes, turtles were responsible for screwing up your schedule today. [NYP]

Did you follow the news closely over the long weekend, loser? We hope not. It was all decades old.

Earlier today we fawned over Barack Obama's newly cut physique. And it got us wondering what other shirtless pics of presidents exist.

Today is the 45th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination, the subject of a new novel and unending, inconclusive debate. We may never know the real answer about what happened that day in Dallas, although the coming years will see more and more declassified documents released to the public, finishing with Jackie O's oral history about JFK that enters the public domain in 2044 if all her children have passed on. The photos and footage of that day tells a grave story that eclipses mere words. Click for images that will still move you 45 years after the fact:

Expat socialite and prodigious homosexual writer Gore Vidal has agreed to write an illustrated memoir that will be released next fall. The book, co-written with Vanity Fair editor Ann Schneider, will be different from his earlier memoirs in that it will be replete with photographs from Vidal's archives. Since we probably won't be able to afford the book when it comes out, enjoy the glorious archival images of our abbreviated version.Publisher Abrams calls the book "a scrapbook of Vidal’s considerable library of mementos, documents, photos, and records" that will take readers through "six decades of American social history," and has scheduled it for release in November of 2009. Vidal's already published two memoirs on his favorite subject, but with the wealth of photos out there, we don't have to wait that long for the illustrated version.

From his first debate against Richard Nixon, John F. Kennedy was the television candidate, the first American politician who was a global icon in the way we conceive of it today. Plastered across the internet, the long campaign has already made Obama a household name in every country in the world. As he combated the idea that he was Paris Hilton during the campaign, Barack will have to distinguish himself from becoming the last Democratic golden boy. Here's how he can avoid the pitfalls.There was a sense that John F. Kennedy belonged to all of us, and in his inaugural call for service, he echoed the inclusion of everyone into that political moment. But JFK wasn't just about politics. His election — from its beginnings in the famous televised debate with Richard Nixon — was about creating a cultural image that Americans could comfortably desire.

Sarah Palin says she plans to return the six-figure wardrobe that got her into so much trouble in the run-up to the election. But she's already had to part ways with another campaign perk: the plane that jetted her around the country over the past couple of months. The Embraer E190 that the McCain campaign leased from JetBlue to fly the Wasilla hillbillies from place to place touched down in Anchorage yesterday to deposit the governor in her home state. It's now on its way back to New York where it will be stripped of its McCain/Palin logo and rejoin JetBlue's fleet of jets based at JFK. At least now there's a very good explanation if you happen to come across a Neiman Marcus shopping bag stuffed under your seat.

Candid presidential photography simply does not get any better than JFK and Jackie O. Let's face it — the guy just never looks bad, and his wife was one of the most photogenic women ever. We're praying for a reincarnation of the two's glamour in about nine days. Until then, click to see them candid or staged, and enjoy the nostalgic ride.Not to bring up Mad Men again, but tonight's finale takes place during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and SNL did have Jon Hamm as JFK. That's all the justification we need to revel in these snapshots:

For Mad Men's slender but loyal viewership, SNL's Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women sketch peeled back the hard, handsome mystery of the adultering marketing genius underneath. On tonight's season finale, Don's silent journey into the abyss best get some resolution. And if you haven't sampled the best show on television before, you now have another reason to.For the past two seasons, Jon Hamm's character has been on a journey to find himself, drinking profusely and cheating on his wife to soothe his aching psyche and add to his bone list. With a massive lack of onscreen dialogue in this season's L.A. Story arc, Don Draper has said less and done more than any character on TV, as SNL so aptly reminded us: While we remain fascinated by every single aspect of Don's life, audiences haven't been as kind to the silent giant of Sterling Cooper. Despite being the best show on television, Mad Men's ratings haven't appreciably improved: it attracts about 1.5 million viewers weekly compared to CSI's 19 million plus audience. Does Matthew Weiner's masterpiece have to be like The Wire where the larger viewing public doesn't really get it until the show is in its last throes? The preview video for tonight's finale of Mad Men joins a discussion between the junior copywriters of Sterling Cooper about what exactly their sexaholic mastermind boss is doing in Los Angeles. One speculates he's landing a big fish, another says he's done this before. Let's just be sure to wrap it up one way or another, Weiner. Click to view

♦ A look at the restaurants inside JetBlue's new terminal at JFK. [Eater]
♦ Masaharu Morimoto explains why why Wagyu beef is so special. [GS]
♦ Photos of Archipelago, the new Japanese-French restaurant by Hisanobu scheduled to open on Monday. [GS]
♦ Don't get too excited about a Sam Talbot restaurant in Chelsea just yet. [Eater]
♦ A sneak peak at the Trader Joe's in Brooklyn. [Urbanite]
♦ Hearst and MSN launched new food site today called Delish.com. [PRN]
♦ Martha Stewart's staff tasted the 14 best hot dogs they could get their hands on. Nine of them hailed from New York. [Martha Stewart]

Jaunted has some video of the new JetBlue terminal at JFK, which will open to the public in October. [Jaunted]

If you only read the Washington Post for one thing, read it for its offbeat profiles of weird people in the Style section. Screw politics! Today they profile an author named Max Holland, who's spent the last 12 years—12 years!—working on a book about the Kennedy assassination. His big revelation in that decade-plus of research? That maybe there was a gunshot before the Zapruder film started filming. But, a shot that missed! So who cares, right? Are Kennedy assassination people the most serious-minded crazies in America? Very possibly:

The demented incompetents a the Port Authority are proceeding with plans to exterminate hundreds of cats at JFK, according to the Humane Society and Mayor's Alliance for NYC Animals. Various cat organizations have been trying, since 2004, to humanely control the feral animals, which live in a rusty truck near Delta's cargo area, but the Port Authority never gave them permission to start neutering the animals, a technique that swiftly reduced cat populations at Rikers Island and elsewhere. The port has been "negotiating" with the Humane Society since August, but broke off talks on Memorial Day, presumably because it thought the disturbing news would get buried amid the holidays (that tactic only works in the days just before a big holiday, monsters). Instead the port insists on sending the cats to a better place, where they will all die:

The Standing Room reports that the lady pictured at left "is having a secret affair with a coworker." While they sat, stranded, waiting in vain on a delayed flight, she "made a series of calls to various girl friends to discuss the situation. All her friends are 'the best.'" Ha ha ha. Let this be a lesson to everyone: if you babble about secret affairs while surrounded by annoyed travelers at the airport, someone will instantly upload a photo of you to the internet. And now she's exposed—not for the sin of carrying on romantic dalliances with coworkers (though we recommend against it, which is why our love for Hamilton must always remain secret), but for forcing everyone at JFK to hear all her business. So annoying. Text about it if you're bored! [The Standing Room]

Something that our modern age is not equipped to process: a man paying millions for a high-profile sex tape of a famous star, only to keep the thing secret. No special downloads available for $29.95. No DVDs, Cinemax licensing fees, or posters. But that's exactly what an anonymous and principled oddball memorabilia collector did this week when he paid $1.5 million for a 15-minute tape of tragically deceased starlet Marilyn Monroe giving a blow job to an unidentified man—who just might be tragically deceased president John F. Kennedy!

The saga of the happy cat camp at JFK airport has become even more grim today. A memo from Port Authority General Manager Susan Baer reveals just how far the Authority is willing to go to feed their sick blood lust. Airport employees have been ordered not to feed the cats under penalty of confiscation of their airport identification, thus possibly costing them their jobs. If they can't round up and gas the cats they will starve them all.