Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for hot, delicious morsels of truth in the bread baskets of In Touch, Star, Ok!, Life & Style and Us. This week: Mariah Carey, JWoww, and more Lindsay. [Jezebel]
Before dropping me off in the dark, dank sewer water of my bottom, my addiction took me to a variety of fun places. It was my addiction, not historically the best decision-maker, which led me to the sex industry. [Jezebel]
Carole Markin has revealed herself as the woman who sued Match.com, ultimately forcing them to screen new members against the national sex offender registry. Her decision to go public is brave. But could her crusade be a mistake? [Jezebel]
A troubling report in Pediatrics confirms what you may already suspect: gay teens attempt suicide more often in politically conservative areas where schools don't have programs supporting gay rights. [Jezebel]
A group of Senators are peeved at the Obama administration because it isn't doing enough about pornography. The Justice Department says that's because it's focused on fighting the exploitation of children. But that isn't good enough for some advocates. [Jezebel]
South Dakota recently passed a law that requires women seeking an abortion to attend counseling at a pregnancy help center and wait 72 hours before getting the procedure. So what will it like when the law takes effect? [Jezebel]
Musician Natalie Riccio was shocked when her song, the romantic ballad "Show You My Love," showed up as the soundtrack to a porn movie. More strange is the saga of how it all happened. [Jezebel]
Michele Dufault, a Yale student who was just weeks from graduation, died today when her hair was pulled into equipment in a chemistry lab. Dufault, an astronomy and physics major, was working on her thesis project at the time. [Jezebel]
Some French lawmakers want to make it illegal to solicit prostitutes. Their argument: all prostitution supports sex trafficking. From an American vantage point, the debate is a bit surprising—aren't these the liberated French? [Jezebel]
Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday, we party in the pages of In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Ok! and Us, looking for a good time. This week: Christina Aguilera, Scarlett Johansson, and Kate and William. [Jezebel]
Clarence Thomas's wife Virginia is making a big list of the contact information of tea party organizers around the country—because apparently someone thought it was a good idea for her to have lots of people's phone numbers. [Jezebel]
As it's been several weeks since we've had a John Edwards update, the Enquirer has a tale about him telling friends he'd rather commit suicide than face a trial over campaign finance violations connected to Rielle Hunter. [Jezebel]
So it was written, and so it was done. Corgi, winner of the Dog Conference, has narrowly defeated Cat Conference champ Tuxedo. It took blood, sweat, and thousands of votes, but now it's official. [Jezebel]
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your friendly neighborhood tabloid round-up. We do the tough job of "reading" Star, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Ok!, so you don't "have" to. [Jezebel]
Marriage isn't like riding a pegasus on a marshmallow rainbow, you know. It's a lot of work. And a royal marriage? God save the Princess, because things will inevitably get rough. [Jezebel]
This is it. The day we've been waiting for. We started this war with 16 supercute kitties and 16 precious puppies. Now, brave warriors—Tiger! Pit Bull! Tabby! Mutt!—lie fallen on the bloodied fields. [Jezebel]
The Candie's Foundation's mission is "to educate America's youth about the devastating consequences of teen pregnancy through celebrity PSA campaigns and initiatives." How do they do that? For one thing, the foundation paid Bristol Palin $262,500 last year. [Jezebel]
55-year-old Cindy Jackson has spent over $100,000 on 52 different cosmetic procedures over the course of her life. That makes her the Guinness World Record holder for the most surgeries as of this month. [Jezebel]
So after a disastrous opening night in Detroit and an only-slightly-better followup show in Chicago, we're left wondering who are the people making up the audiences of Charlie Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour? [Jezebel]
