The written word is not Rihanna's friend. Here, she poses with children while wearing a necklace that says "Fuck You." Don't you hate it when adorable children interfere with your badass 'tude?

With his approval rating "hover[ing] in the low 20s" and an election day referendum to reverse his greatest legislative victory, California's steroidal governor is set to leave on a low note. His fancy fingers, however, will continue to shine.

[Adriana Lima models Victoria's Secret's "$2 Million Bombshell Fantasy Bra," an undergarment containing 60 carats of white diamonds and 82 carats of topaz and sapphire. This is Victoria's Secret being recession-friendly; 2008's "Fantasy Bra" was worth $5 million. More inside.]

U.S. Marshals are currently auctioning off jewelry seized from Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's now-imprisoned swindler ex-boyfriend. Anne's old jewelry is fetching only paltry prices. Bid, for the good of the U.S. taxpayer! Photos and prices below.

Apparently, Top Chef host/supermodel/ex-wife of Salman Rushdie Padma Lakshmi has a jewelry line. As this one-minute commercial for the line shows, however, it appears Lakshmi's greatest selling point isn't her necklace, but what her necklace rests on. (Boobs.) Watch inside.

Liza Minnelli was on HSN last night to hawk her jewelry line, which she started after being immobilized—and, ergo, bored—by a bum knee. Predictably, it was crazy, and luckily, fourfour's Rich Juzwiak made a highlight reel. Video inside.

Here's a funny/sad profile of Melania Trump, the Donald's third wife who is launching a QVC costume jewelry line. While her step-daughter Ivanka has a high-end luxury jewelry line, Melania's designs are decidedly downmarket. They're for the people, y'know. [NYT]

Ivanka Trump recently had a fairy tale wedding. Now she'll help you have one, too! Ivanka's jewelry company has teamed up with her dad's chain of hotels to offer "The Quintessential New York Proposal." And it's quite a package. Purchase a ring from Ivanka's "Bridal Bar" ("prices starting at $800"!) and you'll receive a complimentary one-night stay at the Trump International Hotel & Tower or, if you prefer, Trump Soho, the as-yet unfinished monstrosity that the Trumps have erected in Soho. But that's not all there is to it:

Have you heard that some whiny men are now asking/demanding that their wives-to-be give them a "man-gagement" ring before getting married? According to a poll conducted by Brides.com (which may or may not have been funded by the jewelry industry), 45 percent of women said they'd consider buying their fiancé an engagement band. Really? Well, at least they'll both have something to take to the pawn shop when they split up! [NYDN, ABC News]

Oh shoot, fashion PR person Mallory Montilla was some sort of career criminal or possibly a kleptomaniac, if you believe the cops, at least. Or is she a sad victim of mean girls?

It's getting so you can't even trust PR people any more: Cops say that Mallory Montilla, a 24 year-old flack at Whisper PR in NYC, stole almost $100,000 worth of jewelry. From clients! The swag corrupted her mind!

Padma Lakshmi announced in January that she was branching out with a "food-inspired" jewelry line. The items went on sale at stores like Bergdorf this past spring, and they've been selling briskly, according to WWD. So now it's time to expand, apparently. An ad campaign for the collection kicks off this fall, one that, per usual, plays to Padma's passion for not wearing clothes unless it's absolutely necessary: "The photos show a glistening, nude Lakshmi draped in her delicate gold and gemstone spices, which take inspiration from foods such as lentils and cardamom pods." [WWD]

Jared Kushner learns quick. And he's going to blend into the Trump family just fine. WWD reports today that the engagement ring he gave Ivanka was from Ivanka's own collection, a 5.22 cushion cut diamond that's "proprietary" to Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry™. Ivanka will now serve as a living, breathing ad for her engagement ring line (as well as benefit from the press attention that follows). And Jared—hopefully!—managed to knock a few bucks off the price thanks to this most personal connection. Most importantly:

How poor are people, these days? So poor that rappers can't afford to wear half-million-dollar chains any more! That's the thesis of a story which is surely false (nobody could ever really afford to wear a half-million-dollar chain), but it raises the question: what is the post-bling thing?

Fewer rappers are wearing bling, according to your source for all things hip-hop related, the Wall Street Journal. But it's not because they've suddenly realized that diamond-encrusted necklaces are no longer appropriate given the economic climate. It's because they can no longer afford them and they're now asking jewelers to make medallions with less-precious stones and metals so they can keep up appearances. Whether this is really true is anybody's guess. But if it is, poor Jacob the Jeweler is in for quite a surprise when he gets out of out of prison in about 18 months or so, isn't he? [WSJ]

• Mayor Bloomberg has pronounced it "Sparkle Week" in NYC as part of an effort to give a boost to the jewelry industry. They sure could use the help: Retailers in the Diamond District report that sales have dropped by more than 50 percent over the past year. [NYM, Crain's]
• Jil Sander's new Madison Avenue store has opened its doors. [Racked]
• Lauren Hutton was injured while surfing a couple of weeks ago, but she's still hoping to make it to the Costume Institute ball. [NYM]
• Is Chloe Sevigny single-handedly trying to bring back the sandals-and-socks look, or was the combo of sun and booze at Coachella to blame? [Frisky, JJ]

And you thought you'd be stuck with your diamond and gold grills (grillz?) forever! Fortunately, there's a new website that will take them off your hands (or out of your mouth) if you're currently facing financial problems, since "selling your gold teeth and crowns is an excellent way to bring in a little extra money for you and your family in these troubled financial times." Lil Jon, please make a note of this. [Luxist]

De Beers thought that buying diamond jewelry would be a popular activity during this recession, but you know what? It isn't.

Cartier would really, really appreciate it if you didn't take their jewelry, copy it, and then post cheap imitations on your website with the words "inspired by Cartier" positioned next to each item. Yesterday, the company filed suit against Lisa Hsieh and her website LisaStyles.com for "willingly committing trademark and copyright infringement" by selling its various "Cartier-inspired" goods. Following time-honored Cartier tradition, the jewelry giant is not just asking a court to stop Hsieh from doing what she's doing: It's also seeking to have the infringing items turned over to Cartier so they can be crushed to bits. The lesson to be learned: Don't mess with the makers of luxury goods when they're struggling enough as it is due to the recession. The full suit is below.

Don't be surprised if you see Padma Lakshmi sporting some mouth-watering jewelry on upcoming episodes of Top Chef. The TV hostess and cookbook author is planning to launch a line of necklaces and rings based on various cooking ingredients: "It's inspired by things like seeds and pods, like cardamom, lentils and cloves." Yum? The collection, which Padma has very creatively named "Padma," will debut at Bergdorf Goodman in May. [WWD]