Jerry Seinfeld's wife is really a bit much to handle. She sent 21 pairs of shoes to Oprah and totally (in our completely non-expert opinion) ripped off some lady's cookbook. The lady's name is Missy Chase Lapine (woah, pornstar much?) and her book was called the "Sneaky Chef." Jerry Seinfeld's wife's name, on the other hand, is Jerry Seinfeld's wife (too lazy to look up). Her book is called "Deceptively Delicious." Now Smoking Gun has the suit which includes some passages supposedly stolen from the book. They're after the jump. BUT before you go, ponder: Even though the words look the same and even the concept of the books are identical, a deeper issue is at stake. Nameley, who really has the right to pronounce universal truths? And once one is uttered, is that truth the property of the speaker or of the universe for which it is true. Kids always hate vegetables. Parents always lie to children to make them do the things they hate. Those who love us lie to us because they love us. Love is a lie. Jessica Seinfeld, Missy knows that. We all know that. Excerpts after the jump.

The other Christian Louboutin has finally dropped in the Jessica Seinfeld affair, as Missy Chase Lapine, the cookbook author whose book The Sneaky Chef bore an extremely uncomfortable resemblance to the one Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld was plugging on Oprah, is suing the couple. Not only does she claim copyright infringement, but also defamation against the Bee Movie star, who, among the observations he made about the complainant on The Late Show with David Letterman, compared Lapine to "wackos who wait in the woodwork to inject a little adrenaline in your life experience," and noted that "many three-named women do become assassins." THR, ESQ. predicts that the trial should be "entertaining," unless of course the couple decides to settle behind closed doors, offering Lapine an undisclosed but substantial settlement paid off entirely in designer footwear.

Jessica Seinfeld, wife of the TV comic and author of "Deceptively Delicious", is accused of plagiarizing another book of healthy recipes for junk-food-addicted kids.

"There are three things people think they know about Jessica Seinfeld, the semipublic wife of the popular comedian," writes Allen Salkin, who, though he wrote an entire book about the fake holiday Festivus, boasts no "personal or professional relationship" with the Seinfelds. The three things are: A) she met Jerry at a gym shortly after marrying a different rich dude, B) she was accused of plagiarism, and C) she thanked Oprah for a recent appearance with 21 pairs of designer shoes. In order to dispel these 'myths,' Jessica has now "grudgingly" consented to be interviewed. She starts by slamming "journalists." "I understand that there's nothing more satisfying to a journalist than to take someone like me who appears to have had an easy life and appears to have now hit the jackpot," she tells Salkin. Actually! There's one thing that's more satisfying: Watching someone who's trying desperately to revamp her image totally dig herself a deeper hole.

The "scandal" that erupted over striking similarities between Jessica "Jerry's wife" Seinfeld's new Oprah-endorsed bestselling cookbook and Missy Chase Lapine's more modestly published take on the same topic—sneaking pureed veggies into kid-friendly foods—is grinding to an anticlimactic close, but Galleycat's Ron Hogan won't let it go. Today, he tries to find out whether the fact that Missy's book was submitted twice to Jessica's publisher might have resulted in plagiarism and learns that: guess what? Editors don't hang onto proposals they've rejected! They send them back to agents or throw them away, they don't keep them all in some giant walk-in storage facility. DUH. Here's the real shocker: that Spiegel & Grau's Julie Grau didn't have anything better to do than respond to Ron's email within "minutes." [Mediabistro]

9/11 wasn't so bad, according to newly Nobel-anointed novelist Doris Lessing. "Some Americans will think I'm crazy. Many people died, two prominent buildings fell, but it was neither as terrible nor as extraordinary as they think. They're a very naive people, or they pretend to be," she told Spanish daily El Pais. Also: "I always hated Tony Blair," and "I hate Iran, I hate the Iranian government, it's a cruel and evil government. Look what happened to its president in New York, they called him evil and cruel in Columbia University. Marvelous! They should have said more to him! Nobody criticizes him, because of oil." We want to be like this as an old lady: just walking around talking shit and whapping people with our cane. But between this and the Jessica Seinfeld plagiarism scandal, the HarperCollins publicity department is having kind of a bad week.

• A judge has told Britney she must comply with all court orders before he'll let her see her children again. [Us Weekly]
  

• Britney Spears finally got booked on those misdemeanor hit and run charges from September. [TMZ]
  

From the mailbag: "HarperCollins is estimating that Jessica Seinfeld's book [about tricking kids into eating healthy by pureeing their veggies] Deceptively Delicious has sold ~125,000 in its first week on sale. This week's sign of the apocalypse: that a woman with no discernible talent other than dumping her fiance when a richer guy comes along has just had what's arguably the nonfiction debut of the year. There's something like another 250K on order."

Pity poor rich lady Sloan Barnett. All she did was ask a totally reasonable question— "What can we actually do to make a difference on Earth Day besides buying a Prius?" and answer herself with a totally reasonable answer. She is buying the environmentally friendly products made by a company called Shaklee, which her husband and others recently bought for $310 million. "This is the grass-roots way to help save the world," Barnett told the guests at her Shaklee party, who included Melania Trump, Jessica Seinfeld, and the Times' Ruth La Ferla. One of those ladies kept butting her nose in people's business and asking pesky questions, however!

Last week, we alerted you to a job posting for a personal assistant to an unnamed "UWS socialite." Said "socialite" was looking for someone to do "Heavy scheduling - Creating personal travel itineraries - Planning parties - Gift purchasing - Running errands - Coordination of nanny, chef, driver, etc. - Ad-hoc projects as requested," all to the tune of a cool $70K. Several of you fingered Jessica Seinfeld, including this tipster: