Jeremy Piven goes nuts on Chris Kattan, Robert Pattinson parties in Queens, Michael Jackson is finally buried, Bethenny Frankel hates Gwyneth Paltrow, Jesus Luz wants to be a DJ, Mariah Carey is freaking out and Victoria Beckham debuts on Idol.
• The case of the mercury-tainted sushi lives on: Chris Kattan ran into Jeremy Piven backstage during a taping of Alexa Chung's MTV show last week and made a crack about Piven's short stint on Broadway; a very offended Piven responded by calling Kattan's entire career into question. [NYDN]
• Madonna's Brazilian-born boy toy, Jesus Luz, is more than just a model: He's now a DJ, too. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel is no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." We're going to assume the feeling is mutual. [NYDN]
• In what amounted to a two-way publicity stunt, Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston (better known as Bristol Palin's baby daddy) turned up to the Teen Choice Awards last night holding hands. [Us]
It's a big birthday for Jennifer Lopez. She's celebrating the big 4-0 today. Other people who will be blowing out candles this fine Friday: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth is turning 41. Anna Paquin is 27. Director Doug Liman turns 44. Director Gus Van Sant is turning 57. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 67. Artist Alex Katz is turning 82. Senator Claire McCaskill is 56. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida is 53. Barry Bonds turns 45. Retired basketball stars Rick Fox and Karl Malone are turning 40 and 46, respectively. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame is turning 60. Actor Dan Hedaya is 69. And Wonder Woman—actress Lynda Carter—celebrates her 58th birthday today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.
• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie moving to NYC and into a giant apartment at the Apthorp? That's the rumor! [NYDN]
• The good news/bad news for Madonna: She's getting along much better with her ex, Guy Ritchie, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, the reconciliation isn't making Madonna's boyfriend, Jesus Luz, very happy. [DM]
• After six months in St. Lucia, Amy Winehouse is lonely, homesick, and deeply unpopular with the locals. So now she may return to the U.K. where she's totally adored, naturally, [DE]
• Boys will be boys: Leonardo DiCaprio looked like he was "on the prowl" in NYC last week. And Jeremy Piven looked like he was "ogling" Hayden Panettiere the other night. [P6, P6]
Brad and Angelina want to move to the Upper West Side, I'd prefer they didn't. Shirley Jones wants to get naked; same. Piven's a perv, Shatner's sad, Paul McCartney sucks, Stevie Wonder does blow! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• In news that will delight Jews the world over, it seems Britney Spears is thinking about converting to Judaism. She's been seen wearing a Star of David necklace and has found a rabbi to, like, teach her about stuff, so she's well on her way, clearly. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too many acting roles what with all her personal problems as of late. But she may have found a way around that: She's starting her own film/TV production company. [THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's rep says he not facing money troubles. But he is doing commercials for "a bank in the boonies of Australia," which can't be a good sign. [P6]
• Mariska Hargitay is back on the set of Law & Order: SVU after a mishap earlier this week sent her to the hospital for 13 stitches. [NYDN]
• Publicist Ali Wise was arrested earlier this week for hacking into Nina Freudenberger's voicemail. But she may not be the only victim out there. [P6]
• The owner of M2, the club formerly known as Crobar and Mansion, says he may sue Beyoncé now that she appears to be backing out of a deal to perform at the club for $200K. [P6]
• It's been nearly 10 months since Jeremy Piven put a deadly piece of fish in his mouth and the sudden onset of mercury poisoning forced him to drop out of a Broadway show and seek medical treatment. He's feeling much, much better now, he'd like you to know. And he's still sticking to that fishy story about fish, evidently. [People]
• During a recent concert in Manchester recently, Britney Spears shouted out, "What's up, London," a line that did not go over well with the crowd. [Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a relationship advice book. The secret to landing sweet, charming men like Carson Daly and John Mayer: coming soon to bookstores everywhere! [People]
Paris Hilton dumps her toolish boyfriend, Shia LaBeouf issues a statement to let everyone know he's not boning his mother, Victoria Beckham's nipples tour London, Jessica Alba is under investigation for vandalism, and Jeremy Piven preaches about mercury poisoning.
• Cynthia Nixon and longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni have gotten engaged. The couple announced the news at the Love, Peace and Marriage Equality rally over the weekend. [OK!, ET]
• Mariah Carey reportedly threw a fit in Cannes on Friday evening when the director of her new movie had the audacity to show up late to the premiere, thus denying her precious time on the red carpet. [NYDN]
• Also in Cannes: Giuseppe Cipriani was seen making out with Tara Reid; and Kirsten Dunst missed the party she was supposed to be hosting because she missed her flight. [NYDN, Mirror]
• Kelly Bensimon is telling friends she regrets joining the Real Housewives cast since appearing on the show has "ruined her socially." [P6]
• Brooke Shields says her mother was checked out of her nursing home last week by a National Enquirer reporter looking for a scoop. [People]
Shia LaBeouf codifies a Jewish stereotype, Broadway still hates Jeremy Piven, Larry King lives on despite being 132 and not having Carrie Prejean on his show, and Alicia Keys is dating some rapper guy.
• "Real Housewife" Kelly Killoren Bensimon has deceived us all once again. All the talk about her Ivy League education? Turns out she took classes at Columbia's extension school and anyone can do that. In related news, Jill Zarin supposedly tried to return a dress at Intermix with a big stain on it. [P6]
• Kelis—who is seven months pregnant—has filed for divorce from Nas. [NYDN, People]
• Marc Jacobs admits Madonna did ask him to help Jesus Luz get a work visa, but says it's "no big deal" since he'd "do anything to help a friend." [NYDN]
• An Austrian radio station now says it was responsible for hiring a Beyonce lookalike to fool a Vienna museum. [Us]
• Rachel Zoe flew first-class from LA to NYC. Her husband, however, was forced to fly coach. The indignity! [NYDN]
• The Jeremy Piven sushi drama just won't quit. Piven's dispute with producers over his decision to leave the cast of Speed-the-Plow will now be heard by an arbitrator in June. But Piven doesn't seem too worried: He says he's "looking forward to testifying," since President Obama recently described mercury poisoning as "the world's gravest chemical problem." [Reuters, Us, TMZ]
• Sean Penn and Natalie Portman were supposedly spotted "making out" at the Sunset Tower Hotel earlier this month. At least that's what the Star says. [Star]
• Are David Duchovny and Tea Leoni getting back together? They were spotted "canoodling" on the beach in Mustique. [NYDN]
• Scarlett Johansson is on a "rigid diet" at the moment. She's also the "new muse" of Moet & Chandon, just so you know. [P6, WWD]
• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly moving into a temporary "therapeutic environment" run by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin, where she can "go to work and meetings," and "remove the negative influences in her life." Sounds like the basis for a great sitcom, too. [Fox 411]
• Holly Peterson—socialite, daughter of billionaire Pete Peterson, and author of The Manny—is calling it quits with her husband of 15 years, Goldman Sachs exec Richard Kimball Jr. [P6]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley hooked up at a party in Miami and were later spotted "making out at Nobu." [P6, OK!, E!]
• Fashion editors: They're just like us! Vogue's Andre Leon Talley was spotted "chowing down on chimichangas at Chili's" at LAX on Tuesday night. [P6]
• A roundup of restaurants that may close in the near future if you don't do your part and patronize them. Like soon. Thanks for your cooperation. [CS]
• One thing to look forward at Keith McNally's revamped Minetta Tavern: A $26 Black Label burger that doesn't even come with fries. For shame! [TONY]
• Frank Bruni's thoughts on tipping: Never give less than 15% unless the service is "unequivocally dismal," but 17-18% if it's "above-average." [NYT]
• Speaking of tipping, ABC News's roundup of crappy celebrity tippers includes Madonna, Mariah, Gwyneth, and sushi addict Jeremy Piven. [ABC News]
• Tahini on Third Avenue has been closed by the Department of Health. [DBTH]
• Gordon Ramsay is having some money trouble, just so you know. [Gawker]
• Despite what the Times reported three weeks ago, going out to pricey lunches at places like Michael's and the Four Seasons is chic again. Yay. [AdAge]
• Whoops! Jeremy Piven was seen eating a mercury-laden plate of tuna tartare and calamari salad last weekend, although his publicist is now denying the account. [MSNBC]
• "Insiders" say that Ivana Trump and Rossano Rubicondi did not, in fact, marry because they were hopelessly in love, but because it was all part of a deal to stir up some publicity and the two even had a contract drawn up. Our faith in romance has been crushed! [NYDN]
• How did the press know Chris Brown was in Miami with Rihanna last weekend? He told them so, silly. In related news, Rihanna is reportedly refusing to testify against him (even though prosecutors plan to move forward). And Brown is scheduled to be arraigned today, although it's unclear if he'll make a courthouse appearance. [P6, NYP, People]
• Jeff Toobin changed his Facebook status to "Married" yesterday. That'll clear everything up! [P6]
