Even from rehab, Demi competes with Miley for the Disney Girls Gone Wild crown. Britney's creepy ex might be stalking Lindsay. Natalie Portman might hate Mila Kunis. Diddy's burning woman must cut off her hair. TGIFriday gossip.

Kevin Spacey fights for the right to stay in the glass closet. Nick Cannon confirms that Mariah's having twins. David Arquette confirms that he's having a breakdown. Thursday gossip knows that you know that he knows, but what about her?

The golden couple of Disney breaks up on Vanessa's 22nd birthday. Katie Couric goes to a Bieber concert. Michael C. Hall divorces. Miley barters for her bong video with Macbooks. Tuesday gossip is always a trade-off.

Every day, celebrities are sweating on the treadmill in your gyms, hogging tables in your restaurants, and shopping in your stores. This week in #stalker sightings: Jimmy Fallon, Susan Sarandon, Michael C. Hall, and LaToya Jackson.

What's your favorite ancient Norse saga? (And don't say Hervarar saga ok Heiðreks—everyone says that!) Well, make room in your heart for the new Mel Gibson-directed viking film starring Leonardo DiCaprio. It should be epic.

Actress Ellen Burstyn is 77. Famed financier Michael Steinhardt is turning 69. Musician Tom Waits turns 60. MIT linguistics professor, author, and activist Noam Chomsky is 81. Actor Jeffrey Wright is turning 44. NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens turns 36. Retired basketball great Larry Bird is 53. And actress Jennifer Carpenter turns 30. And singer, actor, and Dancing with the Stars reject Aaron Carter is turning 22.

[GQ editor-in-chief Jim Nelson cozies up to January Jones, Jennifer Carpenter, and Sarah Silverman right before the comedian makes an indecent proposal at the GQ 'Men Of The Year' party in Hollywood last night. Image via Getty]