Can anything compare to the singular pleasure of a $360 bottle of Dom Perignon? In his first column for the Wall Street Journal famous novelist Jay McInerney tries to explain why you should be drinking ludicrously expensive alcohol.

Jersey Shore kids scoff at The Hills and Jerry Springer; Brangelina's PR team floats a new break-up excuse; Stephanie Pratt gets bounced; Nancy Grace's suicide-inducement trial will be televised, after all. Wednesday's gossip roundup is full of Schadenfreude.

Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey turns 44 today. The show's creator and head writer, Shonda Rhimes, is turning 40. Party-hopping author Jay McInerney is 55. Orlando Bloom is turning 33. Julia-Louis Dreyfus is 49. Former Citigroup chief Chuck Prince turns 60. Actress Penelope Ann Miller is 46. Former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein is 38. And season three American Idol reject William Hung turns 27 today.

• Jason Rabin, the apparel mogul who sold his company less than two months ago for $401 million, has now unloaded his duplex at 850 Park Avenue, too. Ten months after listing the five-bedroom, 5,600-square-foot apartment for $9.9 million, Rabin and his wife Nicole have sold it to Martha Stewart Weddings editorial director Darcy Nussbaum and her husband, attorney Andrew Nussbaum (left) for $6.225 million. [Cityfile]
• John McColgan and Moya Doherty, the husband-and-wife team behind "Riverdance," have sold their duplex penthouse at 1080 Madison Avenue, albeit for substantially less than they were hoping for when they first listed it for $10.5 million in July 2008. The four-bedroom pad sold for $5.85 million, or $4.65 million less than its original asking price. [Curbed]
• Jay McInerney has paid $1.4 million for a two-bedroom Sag Harbor cottage, which he plans to use as a "writer's retreat" and "children's playhouse." [NYP]

Happy 25th anniversary of coked-out young dudes writing novels about being coked-out young dudes! To celebrate, Random House is finally updating the cover of Bright Lights, Big City.

Last Friday, David Paterson insinuated that he was the victim of racial bias, suggesting that a racially motivated campaign had been organized to keep him from running for governor this fall. A good deal of criticism immediately followed (and today Paterson attempted to back away from his remarks). But if Paterson had been planning to stick with that line of attack over the weekend and possibly coordinate a march on Albany with Al Sharpton, well, that doesn't appear to have been on his agenda. A few hours after raising the race issue on Friday, he cruised out to Water Mill to attend a country western-themed fundraiser at the home of author Jay McInerney and heiress Anne Hearst, where he had an opportunity to play a little charity blackjack with the likes of Kathy Hilton and Countess Luann de Lesseps. And you were thinking that the Hamptons tended to be exclusionary! A few more photos of Gov. Paterson's fun-filled Friday night below.

The Four Seasons celebrated its 50th anniversary last night and a predictably large crowd of media personalities, politicos, and powerbrokers turned out for the occasion. Just a few of the people on hand to celebrate the event with co-owners Julian Niccolini and Alex von Bidder (left, Erin Fetherston): Barry Diller, Nicole Miller, Ralph Lauren, Mort Zuckerman, Ray and Veronica Kelly, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., David and Joyce Dinkins, Henry Kissinger, Aby and Samantha Rosen, Dolly Lenz, Tim and Nina Zagat, Steve Schwarzman, Fern Mallis, Jay McInerney, Jeffrey and Linda Chodorow, Steve Newhouse and Gina Sanders, Albert Maysles, Ruth Reichl, Robert Burke, Linda Fargo, Star Jones and Herb Wilson, Thom Browne, Don Marron, Drew Nieporent, John Gutfreund, Chuck Scarborough, Cindi Leive and Howard Bernstein, Terry Allen Kramer, Marjorie Gubelmann, Marina Rust Connor, and Salman Rushdie and girlfriend Pia Glenn. [PMc, Wireimage, NYO, Paper]

Jay McInerney's latest book, How It Ended, was feted at the 21 Club on Wednesday night. On hand for the occasion: McInerney's wife, Anne Hearst, Brooke Shields, Candace Bushnell and Charles Askegaard, Gay and Nan Talese, Morgan Entrekin, Nina Garcia, Pamela Fiori, Bob Colacello, Richard Johnson and Sessa Von Richthofen, Peggy Siegal, Muffie Potter Aston, Bettina Zilkha, Cornelia Guest, Debbie Bancroft, Valesca Guerrand-Hermes, Nina Griscom, Somers White Farkas, Patrick McMullan, Robert Couturier, George Farias, Tatiana and Campion Platt, Kimberly Rockefeller, Pamela Gross, Harry Slatkin, Dana Hammond, Harry Benson, and Deborah Norville. [PMc, VF, P6]

Andrew Saffir's Cinema Society hosted a screening of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh last night at the Landmark Sunshine Theater. Guests at the screening included the film's stars Sienna Miller and Peter Sarsgaard (left), along with Maggie Gyllenhaal, Anna Wintour, Russell Simmons and Julie Henderson, Gilles Bensimon, Rachel Roy, Amy Sacco, Rachel Zoe, Beth Ostrosky, Olivia Palermo and Johannes Huebl, Jessica Joffe, Zoe Kravitz, Stefano Tonchi, Marina Rust Connor, Jennifer Creel, Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richchofen, Carlos Souza, Marcus Schenkenberg, Rosanna Scotto, Emma Roberts, Brittny Gastineau, Irina Pantaeva, Kiera Chaplin, Lisa Anastos, Jackie Astier, Kim Heirston, Nur Khan, Gilles Mendel, Bobby Kennedy III, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Chris Diamantopoulos, and Olympic fencers Tim Morehouse and Jason Rogers. [PMc, Wireimage, VF, Paper, FWD]

Andrew Saffir's Cinema Society hosted a screening of He's Just Not That Into You at the Tribeca Grand on Wednesday night. Guests at the screening and after-party, hosted by Stardoll and Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti, included Lindsay Price (left), Olivia Palermo and Johannes Huebl, Michael Kors, Amy Sacco, Anne Hearst and Jay McInerney, Rachel Roy, America Ferrera, Helena Christensen, Eva Amurri, Mamie Gummer, Cuba Gooding Jr., Maggie Rizer, Annelise Peterson, Zoe Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Lorenzo Martone, Marina Rust Connor, Chris Benz, Christian Siriano, Reed Krakoff, Dori Cooperman, Taylor Momsen, Carson Kressley, Poppy Delevigne, Jane Seymour, Genevieve Jones, Patricia Clarkson, Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Irina Pantaeva, Dylan Lauren, Jeff Gordon, Kiera Chaplin, Liam McMullan, Derek Blasberg, and one of the stars of the film, Ginnifer Goodwin. [PMc, Wireimage, VF, Style.com, NYO, FWD]

Cinema Society, Nextbook and Grey Goose hosted a screening of Defiance last night with an after-party at Shang inside the Thompson LES. Host Andrew Saffir and the film's stars, Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber, and director, Edward Zwick, were joined by Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone, Naomi Watts, Olivia Palermo (left), Jason Pomeranc, Agyness Deyn, Tory Burch and Lyor Cohen, Donna Karan, Martha Stewart, Jay McInerney, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Eric Villency, Amy Sacco, Russell Simmons, Zani Gugelmann, Ivanka Trump, Andre Balazs, Steve and Christine Schwarzman, Ann Dexter-Jones, Ellen Barkin, Paula Froelich, Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richthofen, Larry Gagosian, Bettina Zilkha, Carson Kressley, Jennifer Creel, Valesca Guerrand-Hermes, Rachel Roy, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Douglas Hannant, Rosanna Scotto, Heather Matarazzo, Joshua Bell, Leelee Sobieski, Jill Hennessy, Debbie Bancroft, Marina Rust Connor, Nina Griscom, Caroline Murphy, Judah Friedlander, Patrick McMullan, Liam McMullan, Mary Alice Stephenson, Dan Abrams, and Dave Zinczenko. [PMc, Wireimage, The Daily]

Author Jay McInerney turns 54 today. Nutty editor Atoosa Rubenstein is celebrating her 37th. Orlando Bloom is 32. Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey is turning 43. Grey's creator, Shonda Rhimes, is 39. Julia-Louis Dreyfus is turning 48. Former Citigroup CEO Charles Prince is 59. Former Hillary Clinton advisor (and now Citigroup exec) Lisa Caputo is turning 45. Socialite Renee Rockefeller is 41. And legendary American Idol reject William Hung celebrates his 26th birthday today.

You might imagine that yesterday's famous author/today's out-of-work wine critic Jay McInerney would attempt, just for the sake of decency, to play down his healthy self-regard when talking about his career, but, oh, you'd be so wrong. In an interview with Britain's Telegraph, Jay envisages the "headlines" when he dies, describes his reaction re-reading Bright Lights, Big City—"I thought, 'Wow, that's pretty damn good'"—and compares himself to Ernest Hemingway, Norman Mailer, and Henry James. Hey, we're sure if Gossip Girl had been around in James' day, he would have put aside writing masterpieces in favor of a bit part. [Telegraph]

♦ Publishing heiress Anne Hearst—the mother of socialite Amanda and wife of writer Jay McInerney—has sold her former three-bedroom, fifth-floor apartment at 203 East 72nd Street for $1.85 million. She and Jay shouldn't have to worry about packing any boxes: The couple has been living in an East 9th Street penthouse for the past couple of years. [Cityfile]
♦ Lincoln Center Theater artistic director André Bishop has sold his five-bedroom townhouse in Carnegie Hill for $5.6 million, nearly $2 million less than original $7.5 million asking price when it was first placed on the market back in February. [Cityfile]
♦ Adam Bronfman, the youngest son of Edgar Bronfman Sr. (and brother of Edgar Jr. and Matthew), has paid $7 million for a pied-à-terre at 170 East End Ave, the same building where Johan Santana, Dominique Levy, and Michael Fascitelli have all picked up apartments in recent months. [NYP]

It's a Zen-worthy philosophical riddle: If all the boldfaced names who turn up to a store opening deny that they themselves would dream of wearing the clothes, does that neutralize the PR value of their presence? At the launch of Juicy Couture's Fifth Avenue flagship last night, the guest list was a publicist's wet dream—or would have been—if The Transom hadn't asked people what they thought of the label.

• Michael Phelps is dating Barbara Walters' assistant "Marina," with whom he went to college. Wait, that's a fake name right?? Is someone playing a trick on poor old Cindy Adams? [Cindy Adams]

Normally TV producers wait until a show is flagging in its 5th or 6th season to wheel on the newsworthy cameos, but Gossip Girl, perhaps due to its eagerness to maintain an authentic elitey-glamour, is piling them on already. Last night's season two debut featured Jay McInerney playing himself with a different name, and Tinsley Mortimer playing herself period.

Found at the Gossip Girl studios: a script for what appears to be the fifth episode of the teen soap's highly-anticipated second season. And what do the selected pages reveal? Mostly the tortured (and torturous) relationship between sad young literary man Brooklyn Dan and his crusty old mentor, Noah Shapiro. Amusingly, the Shapiro character is introduced by Jay McInerney, in a cameo role, who was once a sad young New York literary fellow himself. His 1984 novel Bright Lights, Big City was a smash hit about "you" (the novel was written entirely in the second person) young ambitious writerly types in the big bad city. It's all come full circle! Enjoy some scans of the script after the jump.

The CW has released a video of the first few scenes of Gossip Girl's 2nd season premiere. The show, about bitchy, scheming Manhattan rich kids and three impoverished Brooklynites, returns next Monday (squee) and looks to begin with sex and making out and boobs! and more making out, and, heh heh, Jay McInerney. Yes the sadsack author makes a cameo as Dan Humphrey's (the chief Brooklyn poor) summertime mentor. He can be seen in this clip reading something while Dan makes-out cute with some brunette chippy. So, brace yourselves. Clip is after the jump.

So John Edwards' maybe-babymama Rielle Hunter was a blabbermouth. Have you ever known anyone who had an affair with a married man? How'd you find out? Rhetorical question, yes! So, Radar wants to know why Rielle couldn't keep her freaking jaw in place about boning John Edwards. She would be so much better off if she'd just had a little discretion! Hey, did you ever think on how a widely-used synonym for "affair" is "indiscretion"? No, it's not so much that they go together like peanut butter and jelly; more like they're the exact same thing. What sort of patently talentless dilettante chats up a politician in a bar and manages to secure a lucrative contract with his campaign and either his or his close confidante's participation in unprotected sex? Answer: someone who shares the personality traits of a Donna Rice or Monica Lewinsky — the kind of woman who to enters beauty pageants, shares her innermost secrets with Linda Tripp or in this case blabs about married John from North Carolina to her web developer and anybody else who'll listen.Why do you think that whenever politicians from Bill Clinton to John Edwards stray, you always hear about the extensive efforts made by their staffers and confidantes to keep them away from their accomplices to infidelity? Because people like Rielle Hunter are not generally subtle; people like Rielle Hunter would equate "subtle" with a gentle snap of one's thong! In my years as a chronic oversharing discretion lacker I have found we often attract the same type. It's no accident Monica gave that exclusive interview to someone who just told the world how she used to screw Alan Greenspan! Which brings us to Rielle's ex Jay McInerney. He says he wrote about Rielle because he was "intrigued and appalled" by her behavior. I bet that in Rielle's case he would switch the verb to "bored" at this point. Which is what is so exceptionally unboring about Rielle Hunter! She changed her name, but unlike anti-pornography activist conservawife Donna Rice Hughes she never changed her ability to summon the energy to hit on powerful men and babble incessantly about it to all her blabbermouth friends. She would probably claim it was because she and John shared True Love. You might claim she is simply an incurable narcissist. I would say you're both right!