Aspiring television people: NBC's got a job offer for you! Apply now to be an NBC page, working on famous, still-existing shows The Jay Leno Show and The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brian [sic]. It was posted last month.

The Jay Leno Show died today. It was five months old. Tonight, a half-dead zombie version of the show briefly rose from its deathbed to celebrate its own demise. This was as fun to watch as you might expect.

Jay Leno is known for being middle-of-the-road. But compared to Scott Brown, Leno is a gay hippie communist smoking hash out in weirdo Los Angeles. Brown was on Leno tonight, and he set a new standard for normality.

Yesterday we heard various reports of NBC shuffling their Late Night schedule: Leno's cancelled! Conan's out! Fallon's a transexual! Carson Daly's under suicide watch! Anyway, Jay Leno took some time to address these rumors during his monologue last night.

According to Variety, "The Jay Leno Show" ranks first among all TV shows when it comes to product placement. In just three months, "Leno" racked up 1,015 product mentions. All this selling-out must have gotten to Leno's head tonight.

We are not buying for a second that a living human can be as dumb as Snooki was on Leno tonight. Granted, the other two Jersey Shore cast members were dumb, too. But Snooki won the stupid day.