• Random and completely unconfirmed, but we hear Ron Burkle is hosting a "celebratory" dinner for Bill and Hillary Clinton on April 21. Richard Johnson will be flown out to the event for free, we're sure.
• Apropos the current Page Six scandal, Nerve seeks sex advice from gossip columnists. What we learn: If Jared Paul Stern asks for hush sex instead of hush money, you shouldn't do it. [Nerve]
• At mediabistro's bootcamp for Men's Magazine Writing, freelancers will find themselves well-equipped to pitch and write for a soon-to-fold publication. [mb]
• Barney's high and mighty window man Simon Doonan defiles the art world by ripping off Jack Pierson for the past 20 years — before he even knew he Pierson was, in fact. He's that evil. [NYO]
• Not only does the Post have an honest to god formula for measuring the hotness of one's own ass, but they even got Sir Mix-a-Lot to comment. [NYP]
• Dare we say it? Frank Bruni, we can see you gushing. [Diner's Journal]
• Great news, everyone: "Actor" Frankie Muniz has given up his life as a thespian in order to pursue his dream of being a full-time race car driver. A Pesach miracle! [Defamer]