Remember Page Six The Magazine? The first issue, helmed by Jared Paul Stern, was a glossy brand extension of Richard Johnson's fiefdom. The second issue, published months later, was another decent, if seemingly random, attempt to further monetize the paper's gossip sheet. It was also presumably to give the celebrity weeklies a run for their money—though coming out once every eight months or so isn't the best way to instill fear in your competitors. But multiple sources confirm that Page Six The Magazine is coming back on Sunday, Sept. 23 as a weekly, and it won't look very much like its predecessors. Instead, it'll be more like the New York Times money-minter T. But can a glossy lifestyles magazine make it attached to a gritty tabloid?

The issue of Jane that's on newsstands now (the August issue, with Eva Mendes on the cover) is not the one the staff was working on when the magazine folded. It's the September issue that will never see the light of day.

So what was Jane publisher Carlos Lamadrid doing in the days before the magazine folded? Why, soliciting ads for the next issue! Which raises the question: What did he know and when did he know it? The answer seems to be: Not much, and not until the very end. Which kinda jibes with what we've been hearing, which is that Jane had, actually, managed to meet all its numbers for the year (subscriptions, ad revenue, and newsstand) early, after an incredibly dismal 2006. So even though the magazine's demise had been rumored for months, if not years, staffers were genuinely surprised that the cleaver fell when it did. Apparently, so was Lamadrid. (Click to enlarge.)

The Jane magazine website is still up, and someone there still wants to know if you're into anal. [Jane]

From the mailbag: "The Jane fashion interns from the reality show are getting shipped over to Lucky. In the end Kim France always wins."

Earlier today, we heard that the only people crying when Jane folded were the two interns who were being filmed for a show on the SoapNet channel. Too bad the impending fame of television couldn't save the magazine! (Didn't Teen Vogue's circulation jump after The Hills? Then again, SoapNet is hardly MTV.) Anyway! The Fashionista Diaries starts August 1, and if this preview is any indication, it's probably no surprise that Condé Nast execs weren't banking on the show for any circ increases. "Your jobs are going to require a lot of schlepping," former Jane editor Stephanie Trong says in her best Miranda Priestley imitation. Ooh, scary!

From the mailbag comes a tale of what goes down when a gaggle of women's magazine staffers simultaneously find out that their magazine is going down the tubes:

Jane staffers actually are clearing their desks already. And Conde won't even be shipping the 90%-complete latest issue. This is after Conde spent a bundle on not one but two redesigns. When they're ready to kill a mag, they do it.

• Jenna Elfman will play a book publicist who's "intensely loyal to her clients," as opposed to the book publicists who hate their clients, in a new sitcom produced by Darren Star. We're sure it'll be just as realistic about the book publishing industry as Sex and the City was about the life of an alt-weekly columnist. [Galleycat]
  

Falling Out of Fashion is a roman a clef by Jane Pratt's ex-assistant, Karen Cohen Yampolsky. But its heroine is a stand-in for Jane, not Karen! "Jill White" is a valiant soul who wants to keep Jill Magazine true to its idealistic roots, even after it gets bought by Nestrom (read: Fairchild) and Jill is forced to work with a publisher installed by evil Nestrom CEO Ellen Cutter (read: Fairchild CEO Mary Berner). Juicy stuff! And so, so, so bad!

Good news for fans of anonymous media tits: the photo shoot for Jane's guide to boobs took place on Saturday, despite the magazine's earlier claim that they'd canceled the shoot because the list of participants—which included some familiar names—was inadvertently leaked. However, the boob-baring volunteers were phoned individually late last week to determine whether they'd still be willing to participate. Our own Intern Stephanie was one of these women. This is her story.

Falling Out of Fashion is a roman a clef by Jane Pratt's ex-assistant, Karen Cohen Yampolsky. But its heroine is a stand-in for Jane, not Karen! "Jill White" is a valiant soul who wants to keep Jill Magazine true to its idealistic roots, even after it gets bought by Nestrom (read: Fairchild) and Jill is forced to work with a publisher installed by evil Nestrom CEO Ellen Cutter (read: Fairchild CEO Mary Berner). Juicy stuff! And so, so, so bad!

Does the name Karen Cohen Yampolsky ring a bell? Congratulations, old-skool Jane reader! She was Jane Pratt's assistant, and she's done the expected thing and written a roman a clef. But there's a twist! The heroine of the novel isn't a Yampolsky stand-in—she's a Jane Pratt stand-in, named Jill White. ("White" used to edit a teen mag called "Cheeky!" For real.) Jill is a valiant soul who wants to keep Jill true to its idealistic roots, even after it gets bought by Nestrom (read: Fairchild) and Jill is forced to work with a publisher installed by evil Nestrom CEO Ellen Cutter (read: Fairchild CEO Mary Berner). Juicy stuff! Unfortunately, the book is still incredibly, incredibly bad. Wouldn't you like to read some?

• Looking for gainful employment? Serve beer to drunken grups on Smith Street this summer! [Eater]
  

It's so Jane to put Drew Barrymore on the cover of the March issue of Jane! She's so smart and cute and funny, and she dates indie rockers and one-testicled comedians. Also, she describes herself as a "sexual, free, fucking nudist little bird running around" and "a wood nymph when it comes to sexuality." Right-o! Well, the whole wood nymph thing would explain the dress she wore to last year's Golden Globes.

Ah, Jane magazine. Who ever thought we'd see the day when it featured Ashlee and Jessica Simpson on covers within 7 months of each other? Or a contest involving getting a 29-year-old virgin laid? Or ... a CMJ after-party?

• Jane magazine continues its quest to lower lowest common denominator. [Jane]
• Heidi Klum is African, too? With Seal? Who actually is kind of African, or like African-British or something? Now we're just confused. Insert apartheid joke here. [Flickr]
• Tom Cruise cuts deal with third most likeable owner in professional sports. If you're working from a list that only also includes Mark Cuban and Al Davis. [LAT]
• World's oldest person dies at 116. World's youngest people continue never to call, never to write. [CNN]
• Bush to commemorate one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina with three minutes of silently not paying attention. [Yahoo]
• Meanwhile, Tropical Storm Debbie going to fuck East Coast's brains out. [The Bad Pitch Blog]
• FHM lays off five staffers, forced to return company badges, bathroom keys, and mysoginistic concepts of women as objects solely for the sexual gratification of illiterate men. [FishbowlNY]
• Here is a picture of Rachel Sklar's dad. Whatever, Garfield's not the only one who hates Mondays. [HuffPo]

Alert! Alert! Security breach! Someone who is not a Conde editor potentially getting perks of the sort reserved only for Conde editors!

• The publication and paychecks have moved on to a better place, Cargo's moderately crappy swag lives on. [601am]
• Nick Sylvester offers the world's most incoherent explanation of what happened with that little mess he made at the Voice. It makes more sense if you get stoned before you read it. [Riff Central]
• Highly entertaining Jane editor-at-large Jeff Johnson steps down, presumably because of creative wanderlust. [Fitted Sweats]
• Alas, poor Krucoff travels all the way to the Javitz Center only to learn that the auto show lacks the sufficient skin-baring car sluts one would hope for. [Young Manhattanite]
• A new affliction: "Afflufemza," the condition of uncontrollable vomiting in regards to phrases like "motherhood is hot right now." [Powell's]
• It took just 10 minutes for every gay man in Manhattan to go broke buying Madonna tickets. [NYDN]

Women's Wear Daily's Memo Pad — one of the city's leading media-gossip columns — is sometimes derided as the Conde Nast School Paper, a comment on the (probably unavoidable) prevalence of news about its corporate owner, which just happens to be one of the biggest mag companies. Sometimes, though, you can learn the most interesting things from an in-house rag.