Kings County DA Charles Hynes says "no criminality has been found" after his investigation into ACORN. Earlier reports from the former Massachusetts DA ACORN hired to investigate themselves and the Congressional Research Office also found no evidence of law-breaking.

Did you know that when investigative journalist/huge racist/attempted phone-tamperer James O'Keefe illegally videotaped himself fucking with ACORN employees, he was not actually dressed as a cartoon pimp, but actually "in slacks and a button-down shirt"? You probably didn't know that, because not a single media outlet that reported on the tapes ever saw the unedited versions, and O'Keefe's employer Andrew Breitbart lied about them, repeatedly!

James O'Keefe? He may have something of a race problem. Specifically, a problem with hanging out with open racists. This is a photo of O'Keefe manning the (racist) literature table at a conference featuring white supremacists he attended in 2006.

See, they went around Massachusetts saying they wanted to get gay married (despite the fact that they were both supposedly straight, with girlfriends) (their girlfriends live in Canada) in order to take advantage of all the various benefits society bestows upon those who enter into that sacred institution, which is a very good argument against gay marriage. Because as we all know, no two people of opposite genders have ever entered into a legal marriage for any purpose other than undying love and an urgent need to procreate.

Why would anybody pretend to be a journalist? If you're going to play make-believe, go all out: Pretend to be something cool, like an astronaut! On Hannity tonight, make-believe investigative journalist James O'Keefe continued to underwhelm us with his imagination.

Andrew is the one name-checking Whit Stillman movies and championing drug-addled Hollywood agents and becoming enraged when his fancy schamancy dinners are interrupted by people raising awareness of child soldiers in Uganda! (Furthermore, he is the one bankrolling something like three hundred new websites this year. That is totally decadent, to launch useless new blogs.)

Finally, Andrew Breitbart is speaking out on the liberal media's railroading of phone tap pimp James O'Keefe. Bonus: Lloyd Grove also gets Breitbart to reveal when he's being cantankerous, and when he's merely being jocular. Invaluable perspective! [Daily Beast]

The Teabuggers, those pesky kids charged with a federal felony for getting into Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu's office under false pretences, see themselves as avant-garde Republican activists/humorists. So why aren't they, or any other right-wingers, funny?

Li'l Liddy James O'Keefe has released a statement on his heroic attempted felony. It includes one (1) hilarious slander against Senator Landrieu, whose office he was sneaking into in order to tamper with her phones.

After a few days' of flusterment, conservatives have finally settled on a suitable justification for the teabuggers — they're just crazy kids, horsing around, and we shouldn't take their antics seriously.

Everyone in the world owes Andrew Breitbart an apology for jumping to conclusions about his employee James O'Keefe's alleged felony, he tells David Shuster today. Also, ACORN! ACORN!!!

The AP report that he boasted to a conservative think-tank of a big project in New Orleans that they'd soon be hearing about. And they did. Then joined other conservatives in throwing him under the bus.

When it comes to the arrest of James O'Keefe, patron Andrew Breitbart is not jumping to conclusions. The MSM may want to convict O'Keefe, but Breitbart is waiting for the facts, so that he can ignore the inconvenient ones.

So who are the four geniuses who got arrested by the FBI yesterday for—apparently—trying to tap the phone of a sitting U.S. senator?

Conservative hero James O'Keefe — famous for those undercover pimps and hos ACORN videos — was arrested along with three others for posing as telephone repairmen and trying to bug the phones in Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office.

Everybody's just itching to prove that the two camera-toting, self-promoting goobers who blew the lid off the prostitute-advisory ring that is ACORN are creatures of a right-wing media conspiracy. Of course they are! But so what?