The question isn't "Who on my list would like to receive an American Apparel size Medium t-shirt silkscreened with the likeness of underage MisShapes DJ Jackson Pollis?" The question is "(muffled tears and sound of head hitting desk.)" Anyway, should you have any interest in scoring what's sure to be the hottest item to be photographed in for a photo-twat website, there's a contest you can enter over at Imaginary Socialite. Imagine the looks on their faces as they unwrap this specialest of presents!

Give The Gift of Jackson! [Imaginary Socialite]
Earlier: Gawker Gift Guide

Tipsters have been steering our attention to this Vice spread by artist Ben Cho, who describes his subjects as "a group of 16-year-old quadruplets that I know. They were born and raised in Williamsburg, where they go to a private school." Also, about the one on the right, who bears a striking resemblance to MisShapes DJ Jackson "Action Jackson" Pollis:

We feel a little bit bad about spreading all of these mean rumors about floppy-haired new MisShape Jackson Pollis — hell, we did some retarded things when we were 17, too! Well, not DJing-retarded, but still. But then we think about the money the 'Shapes are getting from their backpack endorsement deals etc and it makes us want to share with you that:

"Part of the reason why I think people may find me interesting is because the age part is very mysterious," MisShapes new addition Jackson "Kids Meal" Pollis wrote on his MySpace profile, where he claims to be 21. Well, we're going to clear up the mystery. But don't worry, Jackson — remember, the age part is only part of the reason.

Look, the MisShapes aren't dumb, okay? They know that part (ok, all) of their ability to maintain the notoriety that enables them nail down lucrative licensing deals like those uber-hip Eastsport ads lies in keeping people like us hating on them all the time. Our hatred fans the flame! We're part of the problem! But, not being dummies, they also know that the blaahhhgosphere is getting tired of trotting out all those lame-ass Princess Coldstare one-liners. Like a tv sitcom with flagging ratings, they figured that introducing a new character would help maintain people's interest. Hence: "It Boy" Jackson Pollis, the blonde DJ who wears those glasses to look more like Mark Ruffalo's character in Eternal Sunshine (really!) and who drops wisdom-nugs like "Part of the reason why I think people may find me interesting is because the age part is very mysterious," and "Growing up in Williamsburg, you really have to love art or film or music." Also, "'I'm like his number one fan,' says Ultragrrrl."