· US Weekly is the first to report that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, having hung in there long enough to live up to the 'for richer' part of their vows, decide to drop the charade and cash in their chips before finding out what comes next. Grocery check-outs everywhere are suddenly good for a laugh.
· Desperate Housewives' Eva Longoria finds seasonal references mixed with loud swearing serves as a handy substitute to paying for things. A greeting card craze ensues.
· A studio lot spy snaps a picture of George Clooney's adorable microcar; if he tried to squeeze his fat Syrianna ass into this thing, we think we may have an inkling as to how he ruptured his spinal fluid sac.
· New Line throws obnoxious sums of cash at Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan and Brett Ratner, hoping to once again bottle the Rush Hour magic.
· Brittany Murphy's lawyer sends us an angry letter letting us know how hard y'all suck at the Blind Item Guessing Game. Really, people, for shame!

In the dark places in our soul that we don't like to talk about at cocktail parties, we were secretly terrified that we might never again experience the unbridled, brain-smoothing joy of Chris Tucker shouting high-pitched expletives at a seemingly uncomprehending Jackie Chan while shit blows up around them. It seems that New Line is finally ready to shovel cash onto the raging fire of another Rush Hour sequel, locking up Tucker, Chan, screenwriter Jeff Nathanson, and, most crucially, visionary fauxteur Brett Ratner. Variety has the staggering details: