Iowa's House of Representatives voted in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships today.

Congratulations to Mike Huckabee! He is, for at least the next few days, the frontrunner to take the 2012 Republican nomination for president. But does he even want to run? He has a mortgage to pay off, after all.

By this time in the last presidential cycles, 14 candidates had declared their presidential runs. But this year, even though there's only one party with a primary field, zero have declared. What gives? The Internet demands entertainment!

Since the federal government's going to default on its debt this year, we'll all need some cheap, entertaining distractions. How about, say, a presidential race with delightful right-wing baby-farming dingbat Rep. Michele Bachmann? It could happen!

Three of Iowa's Supreme Court justices were voted out of office last night, chalking up a victory for the national anti-gay groups that spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on the race.

Let's laugh at something a congressman recently said about gay marriage, yes? Because Rep. Steve King, a notable jackass, has a theory: Under legalized gay marriage, children would be raised collectively in "warehouses," a la Ancient Sparta, effectively ending civilization.

Meet Briana Greathouse of Kansas City, Missouri. Briana, who's 25, recently traveled to Ottumwa, Iowa, four hours away, to meet a man she knew through the internet. And kill him. For making mean internet postings. Her mom was arrested, too.

When a deejay offered six figures for a forehead tattoo, David Jonathan Winkelman did it—and then everyone laughed at him and said it was a joke. Now he has to relive the humiliation with a mugshot gone viral.

Today in worm-in-eyeballs news: A man in Bellevue, Iowa learned he had a worm living in his eyeball. So he did what anyone would do when faced with such a situation: He called an Animal Planet reality show.

The Iowa farm that recently recalled 500 million eggs tainted with salmonella, Wright County Egg, over a two-year period detected salmonella in 426 samples at its facilities, according to investigators. But the FDA doesn't require notification of salmonella detection. Nice.

Iowa's curmudgeonly senior senator, Chuck Grassley, is easily the funniest senator on Twitter. And in this new "youth-targeted" reelection ad, the old grump promises to tweet more often, for the people, until he finally keels over.

The two Iowa farms that produced the half billion recalled salmonella eggs have been visited by investigators from the Department of Justice and the Food and Drug Administration's criminal division this week. Good thing, because those farms are disgusting.

Two Iowa farms behind the massive salmonella egg recall have been investigated by federal officials, and what they found is pretty gross: Eight-foot tall piles of manure as well as rodents, maggots, and wild animals mingling with hens. And more!

More than 120 people in Alabama were sickened by an ammonia leak at a refrigeration plant.

Have you heard about the half-billion eggs recalled over the salmonella outbreak? Well, it turns out the Iowa producer has a history of abusing hens, paying fines for health violations and settling complaints that it's a "sexually hostile work environment."

A second egg producer in Iowa has issued a recall of its delicious-but-salmonella-laced eggs. 380 million eggs have already been recalled in 14 states. End-to-end, those eggs could reach the International Space Station and give the astronauts there explosive diarrhea.

Iowa chef Christopher Turla was fined $335 after county health inspectors saw a video of him "kissing and licking" two small toads on a prep table in his restaurant's kitchen. So that's how chefs come up with those weird recipes.

Nondescript Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty is pretty much 100% going to run for president in 2012. What's his strategy to make anyone care? Apparently it's to strut around his "red-hot smoking wife" before the salivating crowds.

The North Iowa Tea Party has replaced that insane billboard comparing Obama to Hitler, Lenin.

Rule No. 37 of comparing Obama to Hitler: It's hard to walk back a billboard. The North Iowa Tea Party has put up a billboard in Mason City, Iowa, comparing Hitler, Lenin and President Obama, reports the Associated Press.