Here is a wild idea you might like: the government giving money to everyone, for free. This lovely idea is growing more realistic by the week, friends!

Over the last six years, penis pumps have cost Medicare approximately $172 million — at around double the device's retail cost. Authorities have not offered an explanation for the inflated prices.

When we went to college, tuition was a Buffalo nickel and a meal could be had for an eightpence. Sadly, a new survey says that prices are up—way up. Hope you kids like Home State U!

• U.S. inflation soared to a 17-year-high annual rate in July. [WSJ]

For vivid proof of the weakening dollar, look no further that the annual salary survey in the forthcoming issue of TV Guide: After two years of slumming alongside the likes of Zach Braff and seeing everyone from William Petersen ($600,000 per episode) to the Simpsons cast (each $400,000 per episode) pass him by, Charlie Sheen has reclaimed his spot at the top of the prime-time cash heap, earning $800,000 per 30-minute episode of Two and a Half Men. Granted, it's not seven-figure Friends money (which Sheen originally asked for in negotiations back in 2006), but we still think it bears repeating: Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. Join us in getting our heads around it (and a few other hot-ticket raises) after the jump.