This afternoon I had the pleasure of going on former HarperCollins imprint-haver and If I Did It-making-happener Judith Regan's Sirius radio show. She's fun! By which I mean, she didn't hit me! And she confirmed that she couldn't stand the HarperCollins HR department. And also? She looks like a million bucks. She really does. (She is 54.) I didn't have time to ask her for beauty tips (we were too busy talking about how poorly I was dressed and why I want to defame people all the time and of course our book) but the internet provides some answers. I had thought perhaps it was a deal with Satan! But instead: It's coffee enemas with Howard Stern co-host Robin Quivers!

A reinvigorated Fred Goldman, eager to capitalize on his $33.5 million 1997 civil suit ruling against O.J. Simpson, was undoubtedly pleased to learn If I Did It—the hypothetical double-murder confession whose ghostwriter claims is anything but hypothetical—is a hot enough seller to garner a second printing. With Simpson's promotional tie-in of an arrest, Goldman's eyeballs again transformed into spinning dollar signs, as he hoped a judge would award him the much-contested memorabilia at the center of the Palace Station armed robbery—a request the judge rejected:

After throwing their arms up at the futility of deciding whether O.J. Simpson's If I Did It should be stocked in their Hypothetical Memoirs section, in their Sociopathic Self-Help section, or in their How To section shelved alphabetically under "double homicide," Barnes & Noble ultimately decided not to carry the book at all, claiming their buyers anticipated demand would be too low to warrant it. But that was before it skyrocketed to the #1 spot on their website's Hourly Top 100 charts (it's currently idling at #11), offering a keen financial incentive to backpedal on their original decision: