The last line in the New York Times profile of one of Picasso's heirs, the artist's granddaughter Marina Picasso, is a quote from her: "I respect my grandfather and his stature as an artist. I was his grandchild and his heir, but never the grandchild of his heart." It is the perfect ending to a story filled with precise criticism of a polarizing, and seemingly terrible, character in her life.

Justin Bieber revealed a sneak peek today his August cover of Rolling Stone, which pimps the recently pubertized pop star as "HOT, READY, LEGAL." MTV compares the cover to Justin Timberlake's 2002 cover. But a more unsettling resemblance is to Rolling Stone's cover from exactly eight years ago, the August 2004 cover featuring 18-year-old Lindsay Lohan—similarly hot, ready and legal. And we all know how that ended up.

Have you heard Justin Bieber's new single, "As Long As You Love Me?" If you haven't yet, you will: Again and again until the only way to seperate its syrupy resin from your brain is a partial lobotomy. Justin Bieber fans have launched a stunningly well-orchestrated campaign to make sure Justin Bieber is the only song played on the radio this summer.

Canadian pop gremlin Justin Bieber turned 18 today, much to the delight of thousands of creepy older women who made jokes about having sex with him on Twitter. Now is a good time to take a definitive look back at the 18 years that made Justin Bieber a star.

It doesn't matter whether sonorous squirrel Justin Bieber is good at rapping. It doesn't matter if, as rumored, his supposed freestyles are actually ghost-written and pre-rehearsed. If Justin Bieber wants to rap, he will rap, and the world will listen.

Singing dust speck Justin Bieber was pulled over for the third time this year in Los Angeles, and let off with a warning for the third time this year. Even cops are beliebers, apparently.

News that Justin Bieber was hit with a paternity suit by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater has shaken the Biebersphere to its very core. Could you believe that some Beliebers are not happy with the young woman who claims to have deflowered 17-year-old Bieber?

King Bieber has issued his latest decree: Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar must go to prison! He really doesn't like a new law she's proposed.

23-year-old David Dowling and his buddy were busted for stealing a life-size cutout of Justin Bieber from an F.Y.E. in a Florida mall. (They still have those!?) He told the cops: "We were just having fun holding Justin Bieber hostage."

During an event celebrating the launch of his new perfume at Macy's in Herald Square in New York, Justin Bieber was attacked by a crazed fan. Trouble in Teenland! The video above apparently shows the attack.

If you haven't checked in with Justin Bieber recently, he's still the No. 1 cherubic bionic pop robot in the land. But challengers crowd the base of Heartthrob Mountain. Totally lame challengers.

Justin Bieber just launched a new perfume called "Someday." He told Women's World Daily "I have such a deep connection with my fans, so creating a fragrance that I personally love is another way I can bring them closer to my world."

When Justin Bieber got his groundbreaking hair cut, he put a little lock of it in a plastic box and gave it to Ellen. Now she's auctioning it off on her eBay page, with all the proceeds going to some animal welfare charity. The auction has been live for a little under 12 hours, and already it's up to $6,700! Jesus.

Inevitably, Justin Bieber has inflamed both the left and the right with his controversial Rolling Stone interview. Will Bieber become the latest casualty of our never-ending culture wars?

A little-known aspect of Justin Bieber's rabid Internet fan base is the role that Bieber's camp plays in stoking the flames. Last night, Bieber's manager held an impromptu webcam chat and urged girls to lure guys into his new movie.

For all the attention Washington's bluster gets, history will see this little health care squabble as a mere sideshow distraction from the news we received yesterday; news that will fundamentally alter the way we pick our next American Idol.

Remember how crushed we were when our hero Gottfried Alexander Leopold Graf von Bismarck-Schönhausen, the "reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies," died in July? Well, the inquest into his death is at last over! Count von Party Time died the way he lived—absolutely full of cocaine. In fact, the medical examiner said that Count Gottfried von Bismarck's body "had the highest level of cocaine he had ever seen." Well played, sir! You will always live on in our hearts and veins.