Researchers at Japan's Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology have invented an intricate butt-scanning system that can tell who is driving a car based on the shape of his or her butt, intrepid future newspaper The Daily reports:

After drinking enough to allegedly register a .227 on a blood alcohol content test, Florida person Matthew Falkner went to a Jensen Beach Taco Bell, ordered some tacos, then passed out in his pick-up truck while waiting in the drive-thru—just like you sometimes do! Taco Bell drive-thrus are comforting.